The Eldritch Horror Returns to Earth, but Things are a Bit Different

by Palt

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Drama Fantasy Anti-Hero Lead High Fantasy Low Fantasy Magic Male Lead Mythos Non-Human lead Portal Fantasy / Isekai Reincarnation Secret Identity Strong Lead Super Heroes Supernatural Urban Fantasy

One day, Adam B. Windsley was in this world, and then, he wasn't. Suddenly trasported into a strange world called Lutum, Adam finds himself in the body of a small, unassuming slug, and during the course of 600 years, he evolved beyond the scope of humans, becoming one of the Five Evil Gods, worshipped by his followers and treated as a God would. But he isn't happy. And after some time reaquainting himself with humans, he finds himself enjoying their company. But, in a sudden twist of events, he finds himself back in his own world.

But he is still a giant tentacle-covered monstoristy.

And where did these magical girls come from?...

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In short, this is a story focusing on a somewhat edgy reincarnated-as-a-monster kind of guy who returned back to his world on the day of his transferral, only for strange, unusual things to happen. Monsters from his past world start popping up out of the blue, and ordinary people are suddenly learning of sorcery. 

In terms of structure, it will mostly be about what happens to Adam after coming back, but depending on general opinion, there may or may not be more "Before" chapters focusing on his life back in Lutum. Well, there probably will be, but who knows???

The chapters will be between 2000 and god-only-knows-how-many words, and will be released every three days at 3 pm, CST. I don't actually live in America so if chapter release is off by an hour or so, it's probably either because I messed up with the time, or because I was unable to finnish a chapter on time-,

The artwork on the cover belongs to yours truly, I drew it myself and I'm darn tootin' proud of it, and Omni is my dear co-writer who got me this far. Couldn't do it without him!

With that said, I do hope you enjoy, as I did put way too much effort into it...

Enjoy!

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Author
Palt

Palt

”Human"

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Before: Pt.1, So Apparently the Humanification Spell was lying under the Couch all this Time ago
Before: Pt.2, Being Friends with Humans Might not be Such a Bad Idea ago
Before: Pt.3, Having a Personal Cult is Overrated Anyways ago
Before: Pt.4, Three Evil Gods is Better Than Five, Right? ago
Chapter 1: Adam Finally Returned to Earth, But Things are a Bit Different? ago
Chapter 2: Weeb Sasses Tentacle-Monster: Latest Scoop??? ago
Chapter 3: Adam Goes to Prison and Gets Interrogated by His Dad ago
Chapter 4: It All Worked Out but John Still Thinks it's Pretty Weird ago
Chapter 4.5: Sleepless Night and Waking Nightmares ago
Before: Pt.5, Maybe Spending Years in a Hole Wasn't the Best Idea ago
Chapter 5: The First Morning on Earth Starts Out Pretty Normal ago
Chapter 6: Introducing: A Chad Named Chad ago
Chapter 7: Delinquent Girl Threatens the Life of Future Magical Girl ago
Chapter 8: We Finally Have All the Magical Girls All Together At Last ago
Before: Pt.6, Adam Evolves For the Very First Time ago
Chapter 9: The School Day Continues and Ends ago
Chapter 10: Just Two Old Friends Hanging Out ago
Chapter 11: Firing a Fireball in Your Friend's Face is Okay if it was Their Idea ago
Chapter 12: High-School Teacher Has a Psychotic Break - Psychotic Break Has a Psychotic Break ago
Chapter 13: A Teacher and a Beggar Meet Late at Night ago
Chapter ???: Adam Forgot Sustaining the Humanification Spell Requires Magick (APRIL FOOLS JOKE) ago
Chapter 14: Chad has a Weird Dream ago
Chapter 15: Dinner with the Chads ago
Chapter 16: Adam, the Eldritch Slug Man Thing, Finally Gets a Hug After 600 Years ago

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Jefferymoonworm
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Fun concept and characters, mixed everything else

Reviewed at: Chapter 10: Just Two Old Friends Hanging Out

   This story is a very mixed bag for me (at the time of review) and while I do intend to stick around and read future chapters, there are areas others (and myself) maybe put off and stop reading, but at the same time, there is areas of the story that are very good and enjoyable, there is alot of potential and the author is clearly passionate about what they are writting.

   I'll start off with the positives; the actual concept and characters.

   The story follows Adam as he is transported to another world into the body of a small eldritch slug creature, however the story starts as he returns to Earth, after 600 years in his perspective, but on Earth barely a second has passed. Adam proceeds to accidently kill his former body releasing himself in his giant eldritch god form, while his sister (and a few others) seemingly gain 'magical girl's powers'.

   The story continues with the occasional flashback to Adam's life in the other world, but mostly focuses on Adam trying to adjust to being human again in a modern world while he and his sister hide their respective secrets from each other, and seems to be setting up Adam as the main 'bad guy' that his sister and her fellow magic girls will fight.

This is a very fun concept and a nice twist on some of my favourite troupes and gives me the feeling of a Saturday morning cartoon (such as Ben10, Danny Phantom) mixed with, of course, an iskai and magical girl anime, with some darker more adult elements thrown in. The main draw of this story, for me at least, is this fun concept and situational comedy.

   Onward to another thing this story does well, Adam genuinely feels like a person who has been trapped as an evil god for hundreds years in a fantasy world, he returns completely different from his old self and barely remembers anything or anyone from his homeworld, after all he spent 15 years on earth and 600 in this fantasy world. Small things, like his manner of speaking (he speaks more formally than the other characters, swears less, and uses weird idioms from his other world) and lack os social skills with humans (he was worshipped as a eldritch god afterall) make this feel more authentic and Adam's own reaction to his situation is good. He's confused, disoriented and feels like living his old life should be something he wants but is unsure if it is truly happy with this change. This probably one of the best example of a character returning from another world that I can think of.

   Other characters are also great and a lot of fun to read; from Pete, Adam's excitable weeb childhood friend, to his delinquent (possiably gang leading) sister to Chad, the secretly sensitive jock with an unrequited bromance with Adam, that he can't remember.

   The dynamics between characters are also enjoyable, Pete and Adam have a troupey 'cool jock with nerd best friend who hang out secertly' relationship but the twist being that of course Adam can't remember and only remembers they were close, leading to some fun moments.

   Now, unfortunately, one to the less good elements of the story.

   The main problem with this story is constancy. Some elements are very well written and thought out but others are very poor, illogical and seem rushed. For example, Adam returns to Earth in an aged up body, looking to be in his mid twenties.

   Characters reaction to this are good, they don't trust him, especially with his behavioural changes, but at the same time want to believe it is him and seem unsure of how to act, do they treat everything as normal? Or something else? This is a believable reaction. But other elements of this don't make sense, he's 10 years older and seemingly with amnesia, why has he not been checked other by a hospital? Why does he immediately get sent to school? Why does no one, particularly his sister who seems confrontational, not confront him more with his weird behaviour?

   It feels like a several chapters were this all happened is missing or if this is by the design and the intention is to have the characters try and pretend everything is normal, it needs to be made more clear and these issues eventually addressed. (Personally, I would find the story a lot more believe if Adam was just in his normal teen body and everyone's negative reactions were from his memory loss and personality shift, but that is my opinion and the author may have a reason not yet revealed for this decision).

   There are a few examples of this, were the elements of the story don't appear to have been entirely thought through, pulling the reader out of the story. In most cases the odd line or dialogue would fix this, for example perhaps a quick mention of a news report on the appearance of a giant monster or a cut away to Adam's dad talking about the situation with his son (and perhaps the monster) with a fellow police officer and would answer alot of questions the reader is likely to have.

   Dialogue is similar, with wildly varying quality, it is either written very well with a nice flow and realistic to how that character would speak or very poor in a way no real person would, such as saying things like btw and lol out loud, the worst examples of this being the police officer and the other 'background' teens.

   Prose is also the same, it is mostly fine and serviceable, there is occasionally a really well written section, but is peppered with awkward lines and strange wording which really pulls you out of the story.

   Grammar is by far the worst area of the story, there are many typos, punctuation and formatting errors, but the author does improve rapidly from chapter to chapter.

   These all seem to come from a lack of knowledge and proof reading rather than a lack of care, as the author clearly cares a lot for the story. It often feels like the author is too excited to put the ideas in their head into words and as a result messes up grammar, rushes certain areas and doesn't always think how a reader, who does not know there thoughts and vision would read it. But being passionate about your story is definitely not a bad thing.

   My advice to the author would be to spend more time planning, even at the expense of slower updates, and to get someone to proof read there work or read there own story aloud, apologies if this is something you already do, but it does feel like an area that needs to be worked on.

   All and all, this is a fun story that has a lot of potential, however the actual content is a mixed bag ranging from very good to poor and amateurish. This is a story I hope goes through a re-edit as the concept and characters are all very good. The potential for a fun high school secret identity story is there, but gets overshadowed by grammar errors and rushed details, but it is worth noting that there is alot of improvement and I hold hope that this will continue in the future and as such I have given a higher rating than I would normally.

   Please continue writting and improving, Author! Like most reviews, it is likely to change and be updated st some point!

Yay
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First of all, I would like to clarify that my English is not native, so there will be errors. Well, this novel surprised me, because I didn't expect a turnaround like that. I thought it would be another novel, among several. And well, it's not like that! thankfully, I always like to read before drawing my conclusions.

And I sincerely recommend this novel to anyone who likes to read a novel with a hint of the supernatural and lovecraft style for all types of lovers of the genre.
The author is incredible in his construction of the world, I am really enjoying how the story is developing. I still can't build a review, because it's still in the beginning, but from what I read the novel deserves to be at the top and have a lot of potential.
Thanks you, author for is posting chapters even in these complicated moments that we are having.

 

Aki-chi
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I love it! Freaking love it. The emotion, the drive, the possibilities! With impressive grammar for something that really shouldn't have it when you consider what kind of title it has, a interesting and emcopassing story and good character use, i'd say this is the kind of thing you recomend to someone else to read if they like anti-hero leads, like 'Worm' or 'A practical guide to evil'.

the raging gamer
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This novel is so bloody amazing, and i need more More MoRe mOrE.

it's cuthulu but cuthulu was a human and got iskaied into different world as maggot and comes back to earth cuthulu after 600 years.

some_total_kretin
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After another unsuccessful attempt to get through the first chapter I've got one question. Is the author a non native speaker? Because the sentence structure, word usage and formating suggest he/she is.

The formatting, flow and tempo - including the constant weirdly cut off run on sentences - make me think the author's native language isn't English. It's just weird and needs a proper rewrite to reach readable state.

As it is I would only recommend it to people accustomed to reading machine translated stuff.

Dunimon
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The previous reviews complaining about poor grammar and such are no longer relevant.

 

Now that that has been said, this story is amazing, engaging, and puts a whole new spin on the eldritch abomination cum school child genre.

PaulTB
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Far too many grammatical and spelling mistakes even for my low standards.

Ciaina
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Whatever editing problem it had before, it's now solved. 

And it's great. 

Not pretty good, not good for this site, just GOOD. 

Read. 

Heart-burst
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God damn it, moarrrrrr chapts

Really like the way you depict the character but god damn it I need moar

 

Herocat
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MMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR its so good, NEED moar.