The Mountain Lord

by D.H.Hansen

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Historical Anti-Hero Lead Grimdark Harem High Fantasy Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Portal Fantasy / Isekai Ruling Class Strategy Strong Lead War and Military
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

On the world of Camcesa, humanity stands at the brink of war. Facing the end of their race, the desperate leaders of mankind turn to a divine relic. In their darkest hour, they summon humans from another world to fight for them— as the Prophecy had foretold.

Karth was a prisoner minding his own business, just trying to serve out his sentence. Called upon against his will, Karth was summoned to another world. A new world of magic and black powder, and most importantly his freedom. Soon he finds himself with a noble title he did not want, caught in the middle of a war that was not his, court intrigues, power struggles, and a forced marriage.

Faced with the ugly truth of his new home, Karth is forced to make a choice— change his values, or change the world.

Updates twice per week. Patrons have access to early chapters.

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D.H.Hansen

D.H.Hansen

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Compendium of Mostly Useless Facts and Curiosities [Minor Spoilers] ago
Chapter I ago
Chapter II ago
Chapter III ago
Chapter IV ago
Chapter V ago
Chapter VI ago
Chapter VII ago
Chapter VIII ago
Chapter IX ago
Chapter X ago
Chapter XI ago
Chapter XII ago
Chapter XIII ago
Chapter XIV ago
Chapter XV ago
Chapter XVI ago
Chapter XVII ago
Chapter XVIII ago
Chapter XIX ago
Chapter XX ago
Chapter XXI ago
Chapter XXII ago
Chapter XXIII ago
Epilogue ago
The Warlord - Prologue ago
The Warlord - Chapter I ago
The Warlord - Chapter II ago
The Warlord - Chapter III ago
The Warlord - Chapter IV ago
The Warlord - Chapter V ago
The Warlord - Chapter VI ago
The Warlord - Chapter VII ago
The Warlord - Chapter VIII ago
The Warlord - Chapter IX ago
The Warlord - Chapter X ago
The Warlord - Chapter XI ago
The Warlord - Chapter XII ago
The Warlord - Chapter XIII ago
The Warlord - Chapter XIV ago
The Warlord - Chapter XV ago
The Warlord - Chapter XVI ago
The Warlord - Chapter XVII ago
The Warlord - Chapter XVIII ago
The Warlord - Chapter XIX ago
The Warlord - Chapter XX ago
The Warlord - Chapter XXI ago
The Warlord - Chapter XXII ago
The Warlord - Chapter XXIII ago
The Warlord - Chapter XXIV ago
The Warlord - Chapter XXV ago
The Warlord - Chapter XXVI ago
The Warlord - Chapter XXVII ago
The Warlord - Epilogue ago

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Listou
  • Overall Score

Uncertain but promising

Reviewed at: Chapter VI

This story has potential, no question about that. Grammar is good, only faults or flaws i could see is mostly me nitpicking of finding an extra letter somewhere it does not belong.

Not much to say about the magic system so far, seems solid enough. Need to see how the author handles it in fights and day to day stuff before i can form an opinion on it. Doesn't look like it will be any powercreep problems with the way it's handled so far though.

Worldbuilding is good so far, not enough chapters to really get into it yet, but so far dark and gritty just as i like it.The natives of the world seems belivable with how they have been indoctrined, seeing as our own world have at several occasions been far worse than what is portrayed here. Feels solid and real, with attention to details such as noticing someone got the literal shit job of cleaning the nobles personal toilets.

My only concern is the main character so far. He is portrayed as an intelligent man, and a hardenend criminal. Yet his actions feels more like your typical 14 year old isekai japanese edgelord heroic type. He is prone to rage at his subordinates for things they really cant change about themselves (story has what looks like hardcore indoctrination/brainwashing, think ubermench from naziland ww2). He is quick to notice everything around him, and the smallest changes in behaviour of the people around him, but he fails to notice that people who have grown up in such a world from birth can't see what is inherently wrong about it?

Even after his subordinates repeatedly try to warn him about heresy, the stigma of the tainted and slavery he still acts like a angsty teenager and keep bringing it up and endangering himself and everyone around him. Like seriously, heresy might not mean much in this day and age but in the middle ages there was a very real risk of you digging yourself an early grave.

To me it feels as he is portrayed to be a badass just for the sake of it, like Einstein and Conan mixed together. At the same time i understand why as the main character, from our world and timeline would and could react so negatively to the practices of his new world, and if you throw in the already established mind fuckery that is going on because of the summoning it can be excused to some degree.

But for someone who is supposedly as observant and intelligent as the main character is portrayed? For me personally it drags the story down by alot. He doesn't feel like a "real" person, he feels more like some sort of marvel anti-hero, superhuman and righteous. The arrogance and confidence he displays can be attributed as a character trait, but melded together with the other things? i just can't get myself to feel anything for him, because he feels more like a movie character than a real person at this point.

Hopefully this will change as we learn more of his background as a career criminal, and seeing there is only 6 chapters out as of this review it can be claimed to be a bit early yet, to make an in depth review of the main character's motivations and persona.

Personally at this point i can't give it more than an overall 3 star rating, both because of what it is, and seeing the pace the story is going with. If the main characters personality stabilizes and is given some humanity for lack of better words this will be an easy 4 star.

As a sidenote i generally don't bother to leave reviews on stories i don't have faith in or like, or i rate as below 3 stars. 3 stars does not mean bad, it means average or slightly above. 4 stars i would generally give to novels/stories i wouldnt be surprised to see published. The last one i only give to my personal favorites (lot of personal bias on these in how they are written and such).

Will keep close watch on this and come back after another 20-30 chapters to update my overall score. 

Theakorn
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  • Character Score

Uncertain if this can be pulled off well

Reviewed at: Chapter XVI

Overall, this is a flawed story with decent potential. Writing wise, there is little to be critical about. The text flows nicely with few mistakes, the largest issue is the dialogue could use some work - which puts this ahead of many others here on RR. I could say the same about the worldbuilding - its gritty and dark in the clean anime-way, with a muskets and magic level of technology. Several of the "dark" traditions of the grossly racist and mysogonistic society mimics real, historical traditions, such as tying cleanliness to the enemy. A nitpick here is that the technological development is either not well thought out or poorly explained, at least by the first 15 chapters. Firearms are a few years old, but they have already moved to mass production of flint-locks muskets, which took many centuries of real time devolpment, both in chemistry, metalurgy, infrastructure, military doctrine and so on. This needs some proper explanation down the line to be believable. 

Now, all of these issues can be either be improved with some editing or some well thought out explanations. The main issue is the main character. Based on the dialogue in the comment section where the author have answered some of the readers misgivings about how the MC acts, I believe the author have either made a fundamental mistake in crafting him, or have completely failed to communicate his character to the readers. The MC is a cool, calculated, bad ass bank robber, that after 40+ bank robberies wasn't even a suspect to the federal task force that hunted him. After the portal incident he is a petulant, edgy teen that attacks everyone around him and can't help but constantly speak heresy, even to nobles above him in the hierachy. This is not in any way a calculating criminal mastermind. In the last chapter this trend was slightly moderated, but it remains a flaw and only time will tell if this story is worth following.

It will require some writing chops to pull this off, and I am not really certain the writer can do that. In part because of how the MC interacts with the world, and in part due to detecting the dread weeby words "harem" and "catgirl". I have very rarely read a well written story that incorporates those elements.

d0m1n1c
  • Overall Score
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"Man of his word" that lies and cheats when it's convenient

Reviewed at: Chapter VI

The MC is wish fullfilment incarnate for the author, which is fine if you like that sort of thing, but hypocrites set me off.

If you can stand shallow characters, leaks from the writer's bias, and a sanctimonious hypocrite for an MC, then check out the story.

Seriously; the story flows well and for a rough draft the grammar is pretty good; read the first couple chapters, and if you don't absolutely hate the MC or the world he gets sent to, then you'll probably like the story.

Bonemage
  • Overall Score

I don't think this story is for me, but I am sure a lot of people will like it. It's definitely worth giving a try to, and I urge everyone who might be considering it to give it a chance. It's a personal taste thing for me, rather than a lack of good writing. 

Macronomicon
  • Overall Score
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  • Character Score

Pissing on the story: To Establish Dominance

Reviewed at: Chapter V

Three little words: To establish dominance. Words I'd never thought I'd find strung together outside of a dog training manual from the sixties. But whatever. Let's do the review.

Grammer and style are fine, that's not the problem.

The problem is character likeability and going at times too extreme with the racism and at the same time underplaying other things.

I'll give an example:

Spoiler: Spoiler

 Now let's talk about likeability. Do you personally think you could enjoy the company of someone who seriously says the words 'to establish dominance'? I know he thought it and didn't say it, but the point stands.

Likeability is huge for the MC. It's like, the MC's job.

"But what about all those antiheros that go around being assholes to everyone else!?"

No, not likeability with the rest of the cast. Likeability with the reader.

The MC does a poor job being likeable to the reader. Usually this is done by having something in common with the reader. Or having charisma, or some kind of chutzpah.

If a MC is a bad guy, which this one is, rather than saving the cat, you could give them charisma. Have them be passionate, eloquent, or driven, funny, or support values until death.

Mc isn't particularly any of those things. Usually he bullies people using his 'superior size', teases other people about their 'inferior size' in every sense of the word. It's only chapter five, man, and he's already made fun of people for having smaller dicks? Leadership material right there.

As far as supporting values until death. 'Oh these women are oppressed, but don't mind if I get a piece of ass here and there.' Sends a weird message.

Also since all the tainted are gone, he's only able to talk about how wrong it is rather than do anything.

Oh right, side characters. The side characters didn't blow my mind, either. The Nerd, used as a exposition device to tell the MC about isekai lore, was pretty...not great.

As was the MC's treatment of said Nerd. I doubt the man was smarter than Einstein, but if he was, why would you make him seem stupid? If he wasn't actually that smart...good for you, but the MC made no sarcastic response to this claim, like 'oh, really'.

He just shouted Nerd and slammed him in a locker. Well, not really, but pretty close. Lovely man.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 



What then? what if other people sees the way he treats Nerd and the nickname spreads behind his back? Does he beat them up too?

You can't solve all your problems by being an unrepentant ass.

Uzulean
  • Overall Score

Lovely story, just not sure it can be pulled off

Reviewed at: The Warlord - Chapter XXVII

Hey there, I'm a long time lurker and this will be my first review!

Where to start ? Yeah, the Mountain Lord is a story with a lot of flaws. And I mean a lot. Here are some of the main offenders.

Spoiler: Spoiler
 

And you know what ? Despite these, I like the story. I really do.

It makes me browse through the Royal Road every day or so.

We got a grimdark world with a badass, angry main character, Karth. He never asked to come and still he was forced into this. He watched the world and how people were living. And he decided he hated it. Would he accept it and move on like any normal person ? Nah, better burn it to the ground. And then salt it. And, well, to be sure, burn it once more.

But with the latest chapters, my opinion dulled.

To explain why, I should explain my expectations for this. I expected violence. Suffering. Sacrifices. And setbacks. Up until now, we got a lot of the first one but not much of the others. 

Sure, we got some. But in the end, it doesn't matter. The consequences are never too severe.

The author is going too easy on Karth, he is getting so many things and he never pays the real price for them. Karth offends every fucking living thing out there, makes stupid decisions, finds itself in inextricable situations ...

And guess what ? It doesn't matter. He will sort it out and leave stronger than before. No reason behing it, it's just because he can. It was just exacerbated in the latest chapters.

Spoiler: Spoiler

I will leave it at that, I feel like I'm beating a dead horse ...

All in all, I still leave the 4 stars rating as I believe in the quality of this story.

I understand the author has less time to invest in the writing due to his circonstances. 

So, Hansen, please polish it, I trust you.

Kind regards,

SinWirk
  • Overall Score

I am. The story has its flaws, but I find the writing engaging and the MC differs from most stories on this site. Easily a front page story :) Keep up the good work!

EmpireofTrust
  • Overall Score

Like a Russian tale, lifes bad but then it got worse

Reviewed at: Chapter VII

A modern professional thug with values gets thrown into a highly stratified, super religious, sword and board magic society.

He chafes at the strictures that surround him as he tries to survive and take his life back.

As I read I realise its not unlike current places and I live in a much nicer society.

todd
  • Overall Score

Starts rocky, but improves greatly

Reviewed at: Chapter XVI

I had some reservations about whether I was going to continue reading this after the first five chapters. The protagonist starts by being summoned directly out of prison, and after smartly not causing a fuss during the summon (even accounting for mind-control), immediately starts antagonizing just about everyone he can. To the point where it's just a hair under suicidal. Justifications are written into the story and character development: anger issues, being used to prison behavior, and having a functional moral compass, but for someone who watched his summon-mates be executed based off of skin color and gender, he makes literally no effort to learn about the new magical world he's found himself in or what not to do to avoid being killed. It's frustrating, to say the least.

Other than that, this story is great. It's a classic fish out of water in a wildly dysfunctional and oppressive empire. While the early chapters are hit or miss, around chapter XII, things start to smooth out, the MC begins to behave as though he might like to live, and the world begins to flesh out. There's still conflict but the majority of it is along lines that were going to be problems anyway and a path begins to clear towards what will eventually be the primary antagonist. It's a significant improvement over watching Karth slam face-first into everyone he meets that isn't enslaved as the author starts to allow for character growth.

Overall, I would say that the beginning is rough as the author gets a little carried away with hammering in the character flaws, but the fundamental story is both intriguing and solidly written. Each chapter goes down a little smoother and by chapter 15 I was completely pulled into the story. I look forward to seeing where the rest of it goes.

EddieAzevedo
  • Overall Score

I strongly recommend it to anyone who enjoys a story with a touch of magic, harem and strong scenes.

Without mimimi here is for the strong.

Interesting villains, very real protagonist and many plots.

I recommend it to everyone.