Star wars: Selfish virtue.

by greed128

Fan Fiction HIATUS Action Adventure Sci-fi Anti-Hero Lead Male Lead Portal Fantasy / Isekai Space Opera Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

''He's broken, are you sure this is a good idea?''

''It's gonna be alright, it'll become a different timeline. I will supply the power for it myself, won't cost you anything and you can watch it play out with me.''

''If you're sure dear, the last time we did this it didn't turn out so good for the world though.''

''It's gonna be fine! ...Probably.''


A man yanked out of our world is put into another one on the whims of beings out of his comprehension or knowledge. 

Journey with him as he tries for the things that were ever out of his reach in his last life, enjoyment, fulfillment, happiness... and maybe even love.


This is my first time writing anything. I'll be taking it as a learning experience, though obviously, I'd hope that people enjoy it.

When you find something to criticize, and you will. I at least hope you'll word it in a constructive way so I could remedy and/or learn from it.

Enjoy.

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greed128

greed128

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animetine16
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
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The story is invigorating of a controversial duality

Reviewed at: Chapter 24: Mistakes

The MC is relatable for once, not bound by the two sides of the star wars universe but by his own trauma that he must overcome. He is the epitome of a grey or neutral faction, seeing that people are created by choices that arent always set in stone. Oddly the story doesnt feel like wish fulfillment either as the MC isnt as overpowered as he might seem. Overall, this is a great story that seeks to thrill you, i get goose bumps just by the pure emotion the author is able to portray into his characters. You feel the heat when people get mad or the warmth when they are happy. The Author also gives you a unique look into his own form of comedy in the music choices the MC chooses. Please continue your work for the benefit of yourself, i would love to see this reach even further heights as i feel the writing grows with the story which excites me for whats to come. KUDOS AUTHOR-SAN!~

Irradiated Slag Heap
  • Overall Score

Let me start this off by saying two things: First off, this review is as of chapter 3, and will probably be updated as the story progresses, assuming it isn't dropped.

Secondly, thus far it's a fairly standard self-insert wish fulfillment Star Wars story, and for that it's going to start off with a rather low score in my book. HOWEVER: This does not necessarily mean it's a bad story. In fact, I'll be following it for a good while.

This is because, at chapter 3, it's hard to know which direction this story will go. Maybe it'll be a steaming pile of crap, or maybe it'll be on par with the Original Trilogy, quality-wise.

Maybe we'll get a really great story where the MC tries desperately to keep the galaxy from shattering into war and madness, bringing its own unique trials

Maybe their next stop will be Kamino, where they'll take command of the clone army, cure their accellerated aging, and give them better equipment and training, to use as a policing force and, more importantly, integrate them into a society where they can live fulfilling lives.

Maybe droids will be freed from their compulsions, no longer considered second-class citizens (or non-citizens entirely).

Maybe the Yuzan-Vhong will make an appearance as the Big Bad Evil Guys, or maybe the Sith will experience a resurgence and tear down everything the MC is trying to build.

Or maybe, just maybe, none of the above will happen, and this story will devolve into insignificance and poor writing like so very many before it.

I know what I'm hoping for, at least.

I guess we'll wait and see.

Euclaid Galieane
  • Overall Score

Admittedly, I am not part of the Star Wars Fandom. But this has caught my interest, and while it is rough around the edges it has a large amount of potential. Especially with where the story is heading now.

Thomas Wiggins
  • Overall Score

Dont see many starwars fanfic and most are not good. this one is an exception fleshed out mc, spread out intro into his past and good interaction with side characters (love the chemistry between him and yoda)

Tim Janke
  • Overall Score

I like your story. I hope it goes on and doesn't just stop after 15 or 20 chapters like other stories on RoyalRoad.

SimplyaZombie
  • Overall Score

If you can accept the self insert, you'll love it.

Reviewed at: Chapter 8: Skyfall

So let me start this review with, I shamelessly love it. That said, this book is shameless self insert in a universe thing, The Mc is op but the author gives it an interesting and occasionally funny flair with his actions being genuinely recognized as strange by the in-universe cast (Though I feel this should have been much bigger a factor, side cast warmed up a little to quickly for my thoughts especially with Trilla even given his help)(I would address this by adding a nod to some type of charisma force aura due to his sensitivity, easy to add and believe). Furthermore I would also add a bit more flashback and justification of, how Coda as the MC, knows how to use his powers, emphasizing the fact that he has the muscle memory and experience of his old world counterpart to help justify his ability.

Those criticisms and suggestions aside, the story has a feel of those force powers and star wars magic-mechanical vibes in the world itself and outside a little too much of an OP mc for my liking, it keeps this very well in the descriptions of the powers. 

 

Grekeren
  • Overall Score

Going really over the top with the anger of the protag... Being so invested in a character he only knows from fiction and going into a interstellar rage is enjoyable to read.

Everything should be done in moderation so chill out with the early anger issues.

PommyJosh
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Read up to Chapter 20

Style Score: I’m never great at understanding this rating because I’m not sure what style refers to. However, the story flows really well between the different scenes, instances and interactions. The way the story is written doesn’t get bogged down in technical and descriptive text but, there is enough of both for your imagine to really bring forth the scenes in your mind.

 

Grammar Score: Not a lot to criticise about grammer (My grammer isn’t the best but to me the text flows well.

 

Character Score: This is probably my favourite part of this story so far, the MC really feels alive and the different emotions he expresses have a real impact. Even the supporting cast feel like they add something to the story with their own unique characterisation.

 

Story Score: Having only read up to chapter 20 I can’t give a great deal about the story because it feels like what has happened so far are the building blocks for something huge at later chapters. However, from what I have gather so far the story has definitely got me hooked.

 

Overall I would definitely recommend giving this a go if your are a fan of the Star Wars Universe. 

Alexandru Tache
  • Overall Score

This is my "Star Wars A New Hope"

Reviewed at: Chapter 8: Skyfall

I have read a lot of Star Wars stories and most of the people who write them and make the MC too OP wich eventualy wrecks the story.

What i like in this story is that even though the MC has a lot of power he still needs to learn to use everything still i feel that the story is advancing to fast i at least expected him to tell Qui-Gon what is happening but he just stormed off.