Eliona's Gate: Hesitant Healer

by AJ Wynter

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Comedy Sci-fi GameLit Male Lead Portal Fantasy / Isekai Virtual Reality
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore

In which an introverted healer learns to deal with the greatest horrors of his life - socializing, dungeons, and psychopathic NPCs. 


Games have been his escape from reality for as long as he could remember.  So when Eliona's Gate is released  - an online game that's the very first of its kind - Seth Verigin doesn't hesitate to jump aboard. 

Thus,  Severance the healer is born. All he wants is to solo-quest his way across the land, to be able to enjoy the beauty of the world around him without the stress of other players to bring him down. 

Unfortunately for him, there's a few problems with that plan. Not only did he choose a class that's in high demand, but some players just won't take no for an answer. And the game NPCs? They definitely have a mind and an agenda of their own.

There's something a little off about Eliona's Gate, and he's going to have to decide if facing his personal fears are worth it to see what secrets the game is holding.


This is the first draft, completed at 200k words.  Book 1 of a series. Also posted on Wattpad.

Updates twice a week.

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AJ Wynter

AJ Wynter

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1 - A Fresh Start ago
Chapter 2 - Cuddleworms ago
Chapter 3 - Mend Their Wounds ago
Interlude - SETH: I ago
Chapter 4 - Thelma's Bees ago
Chapter 5 - Awesome Dude ago
Chapter 6 - Cheer Up, Thelma ago
Chapter 7 - Jorgie ago
Chapter 8 - The Village Idiots ago
Chapter 9 - Mossy Town ago
Chapter 10 - PrettyBoi ago
SETH: II ago
Chapter 11 - Squirrel's Revenge ago
Chapter 12 - Clans Rule This World ago
SETH: III ago
Chapter 13 - The Eternal Champions ago
Chapter 14 - To the Dungeon! ago
Chapter 15 - Here's the Plan ago
Chapter 16 - A Close One ago
Chapter 17 - Death-Trap Caverns and NPC Advice ago
Chapter 18 - Boss Fight ago
Chapter 19 - Chosen by the Chosen ago
Chapter 20 - You've got a Clan to support now ago
Chapter 21 - This is the team? ago
Chapter 22 - A tank makes all the difference ago
Chapter 23 - You need experience ago
Chapter 24 - Not as bad as expected ago
Chapter 25 - Path to Two Bridges ago
Chapter 26 - Welcome to Two Bridges ago
SETH: IV - part one ago
SETH: IV - part two ago
27 - Knickers and Pants ago
28 - Moon Scribe ago
29 - Battle Dancer ago
30 - Meet the Clan ago
31 - Gathering a new team ago
32 - Going to be a disaster ago
33 - One Revive after another ago
34 - Jeffrey's gotta die ago
35 - No one wants to listen ago
36 - Bones of the Fallen ago
37 - This is not the way ago
SETH: V ago
38 - Let's go hunting ago
39 - Time flew and queens fell ago
40 - Useless tutorial ago

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Pakhawaj
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Anxious guy learns self-improvement through mysterious video game

Reviewed at: Chapter 24 - Not as bad as expected

Really enjoyed the characterisation of the main character; he is very pitiable and even dislikable at times, but you can see how he slowly betters himself through his interactions with other players and the mysterious, seemingly sapient NPCs.

The storyline also includes his relationship with an elder neighbour, who likewise, attempts to push him from his very limited social comfort zone.

Good story. Don't give up on the main character!

mio
  • Overall Score

well-written, but i dislike it.

Reviewed at: Chapter 12 - Clans Rule This World

Alternative title; how easy is it to push around an introvert.

This is what i dislike about the story. the MC has no backbone, he doesn't want to deal with people, then does so anyway because they ask it of him. He constantly thinks one thing but does the other, it is frustrating as hell. 

He makes no decisions throughout all the chapters i have read so far. Things happen, and he doesn't even react himself, he lets others tell him what to do, then complains that he doesn't want to in his head while being a good little yes-man otherwise. 

Other than that, the writing and grammar are good, and the worldbuilding is okay too. But the story not so much. there's a bit of intrigue with the strange npc's, but the mc is so pathetic that it mostly gets lost in the complaining and sadsacking of the MC... 

gnarlytreeman
  • Overall Score

So the mc is an anxious airhead. Airhead because anyone with a brain knows healer classes are social. And the anxiousness was annoying.

 

Its english readable though, but i got annoyed enough by chapter 11 i wanted nothing more to do with this.

a_man_in_black
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The Dumbest MC on Royal Road

Reviewed at: 30 - Meet the Clan

Style: Every single chapter is the same. "what is Sev gonna be afraid of today?" half a star. the shtick got old in the first ten chapters, now it's obvious the story is just gonna be the same bullshit ad infinum until the author gets tired of his own repetitiveness and abandons the story.

Grammar: Immaculate. It's a travesty that an author with such abilities could write such a horrible character. It takes real intelligence to write this well. Too bad none of that rubbed off on the characters.

Character: Half a star. I keep waiting for the MC to pull his head out of his ass, but the author seems to be in a time loop and repeating the same shit every time i hit the next chapter button. The MC is a spineless panzy that makes the most emo edgelord introvert you ever read look like a stand up guy. He's literally scared of breathing, and while it was funny in the beginning, he never grows out of it. The opposite, it seems to be getting even worse. it's like watching character undevelopment instead of watching them grow and learn.

Story: Half star yet again. It's obvious the NPC's are real people. Common trope of VRMMO flavors of gamelit. too common. it's a dead horse that's been beaten until even death gave up, then ground into dust, blended with raw sewage, and then every author in all of gamelit seems to have guzzled it down like an otaku going after sloppy seconds dribbling from a catgirls snatch at an anime con. The trope is done. it's over. get over it. we know the NPC's are people and something's up with the game world. the only one who doesn't know is the MC, and that theme is so overdone it would be more fun to jerk off with acidic sandpaper than to read yet another cookie-cutter vrmmo story. step outside of the box man, the genre wants something new!

Overall: 2 stars, and only because the grammar is perfect and the prose is decent. the dialogue flows. the biggest problem is the main character is written as a supposedly intelligent person, but then acts so stupid i feel my own IQ dropping a few points with every chapter. The MC is literally so scared of everything, in real life he'd have simply locked himself in his apartment til he starved to death for fear of interacting with people to get food. It's sickening, but it would have worked if he actually started to change at some point in the first book.

djjudjju
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Stopped reading at chapter 9. 

Honestly I did not like the story very much. 

My main issue is that most characters are anoying to the MC, and that the NPC propose stupid quest to the MC. I tend to identify to the MC so for me to read about a MC that plays an anoying quest with anoying people is a bit anoying. 

Gramar and style are good though, it is really just the story that I did not enjoy. 

Rabid Fan
  • Overall Score

A delight to read and recommended for those looking for a decent VR story.

Reviewed at: Chapter 10 - PrettyBoi

Some might think the MC doesn’t have any friends.

Not sure if the MC is fat or just harder to kidnap.

Just be sure to give this funny little story a read if you enjoy well written witty side characters that are almost on par with the MC.

Who seems to be suffering from a severe form of mental illness.

Funny and obscure with what has been written so far a delight to read and recommended for those looking for a decent VR story.

Why then a 4.5 star review ? The Cover Picture isn't great .. A shallow concept sure but it bothered me.

 

Ao Meng
  • Overall Score

Nice, humorous story of a social cripple enjoying an idiosyncratic fantasy world

seagull
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Love the story so far.

Poor guy with social anxiety forced into weirdly hilarious situations by a very wacky game.


Great possibility in character arcs with a strong writing.

Definitly recommended for a fun read with the hint of much more depth.

Zaxihk
  • Overall Score

There's anxiety and then there's this..

Reviewed at: 32 - Going to be a disaster

The story is well written with no obvious mistakes. Some of side characters are treated as actual characters instead of the stereotypes you see in a ton of other novels.

Mc though.. He's the definition of a pushover afraid of pretty much his own shadow. While the concept is amusing for a while it quickly gets pretty tedious. I'd hoped for just a slight improvement but so far it doesn't seem like something that would happen anytime soon. It's a shame. Might pick up the story again on a later date, but for now that mc is killing me.