- Sexual Content
A Car crash later Luna finds herself in a completly different world, a world full of magic and myths.
A world where monsters raged and Bloodlines ruled, experience the wonderful adventures of luna in the magical world of Aria.
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Patreon link: Patreon.com/theariachronicles
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Before I begin, I just want to say that I have a sneaking suspicion that English is not the author's naitive language. If my suspicion is correct, there is probably another version of this web novel out there written in the author's naitive tongue that lacks the crippling issues that this one does.
So far, the story's grammar and syntax can only be described as consistently poor. It is not unintelligible, however. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the errors, while numerous, do not interfere with comprehension at all. It does, on the other hand, interfere with the reader's enjoyment. Whether it can be understood or not, a poorly written sentence is still poorly written.
Regardless, passing that hurdle and moving on to the actual story, I can only describe it as rushed. I kind of get the feeling that the author had specific scenes they wished to write and glossed over all the details and events that weren't involved in those scenes. It is a little hard to describe what is missing, because context is firmly established.
It is missing the little things; the details that turn a report into a story. It is the difference between: "Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after." and "Jill accompanied Jack as he went to fetch water for mother's garden from the well up the hill. The two of them alone at the top, Jack gave Jill a roguish smile and told her that she had a nice ass as he asked her out on a date. Jill, of course, slapped him so hard he spun around and fell down the hill, eventually hitting his head against a rock at the bottom. But Jill had lost her balance too, and ended up following him down."
The essence of the story is the same, and the extra details don't really matter if all you want is the basic rundown, but those details give the world and characters life. Without them, the story feels mechanical, shallow, and lifeless. Like it is being put through the motions of a story without actually telling one.
The story is nice so far but the writing is klunky and doesnt relly let you get immersed, if the writing was cleaned up it would become a really great story,
i hope that the author continues writing this story and maybe comes back later to fix it up a bit
I dont think that the story itself needs all that much, or any, work. just keep going as you are
Nope. Grammar, syntax, spelling, there's nothing done right here. There might be a passable story buried under the incoherent writing, but I'll never know due to the writer's utter inability to use English in a comprehensible manner. I'll just quote a single sentence from the first chapter as an example - and no, it's not even the worst one, nor does it get better.
"There are more than a thousand people are fighting, all of them are fighting with the superhuman ability with all sorts of weapons in their hand’s Swords, Shield, Spears, Knives, Guns, they are using everything."
Frankly, asking for money with writing that'd get you a failing grade on a middle school essay seems shameless.
This is good. Kinda. The best proof of this is the fact that this story made me suffer through more than 90 chapters with that terrible grammar.
Sure, it's nowhere near perfect. At times, it even feels like it's all about sex. Don't believe for a moment, that the only 18+ chapters are the two that have 18+ in their title. I have no idea why the author decided to put a warning on exactly those two chapters.
The story is good. Most of the characters are not really well developed, but still allright. A bit too many fight and sex chapters for genuine character development, but all in all, I must say I enjoyed it. Though it could be that I was just in the mood for something like this.
But let's get to the main problem. The grammar and the writing style. Oh. My. God. I have read machine translations, that were better than this. Seriously. You think it's a mistake that I titled my review "minuits"? That word was driving me crazy! How is it possible that someone misspells the word "minute" exactly the same way just about every single time it is used? And that is just the most obvious. Sentence structure is often broken, words are missing, and the wrong words are used. Mistakes like "I" instead of "It." This last one is especially annoying after quotations, where it confuses you about who was talking. And of course, there are many others.
P.S.: I find it very funny, that the author is always advertising those extra 20 patreon chapters. Especially after I checked it out, and realised that I would need to pay 4 times as much for this, as I would for the extra 20 Azarinth Healer patreon chapters.
As per title, it is what it is, so be advised if you are looking for something else. I would have liked to do a ratings free 'review' without judgement, but that's not really possible.
It has vampires, magic, bloodlines, fighting, sex and a protagonist who likes to use 'em. Sadly for me I'm just plain not into smut or even ecchi, really. So I have to admit I started skipping ahead when the sex themes came up to see if it was a recurring thing and yes, it seems to be a part of the main narrative.
Okay I want to preface this review by saying that the idea and story behind this (fetishistic wish fulfillment) piece is sound and interesting while being complex and Well fleshed out... However author writes it to fulfill their fetish to be kidnapped, enslaved, and raped. As of where I am in the story by this point author has thrown away all falsehoods on this. And frankly it's disgusting. I wouldnt have even had an issue IF I HAD BEEN WARNED but nope, author takes readers down their fetish rabbit hole with no warning of just how depraved it gets. Sexually explicit content tag is too broad to NOT put an explicit warning for a piece like this. Also on that note this site may allow any form of writing but always remember your writing should maintain a sense of decorum fitting it's theme depravity in and of itself isn't the issue, it's just not what readers came here for.
Solid premise and story. Very broken English and huge infodumps at least in the first chapters. English is obviously not the author's first language because grammer is terrible and some sentences make no sense. The story and premise is your typical truck-San isekai except the mc merges with an existing person in the new world and retains all her memories. The problem is the author throws in massive infodumps at least you in beginning chapters explaining all the details of the cultivation system. There was no need for this. The author could've kept things more vague and slowly released this info to the reader as the story progressed. Having to read literally dozens of paragraphs of infodumps in consecutive chapters wasn't fun.
The coherence improves by a lot over time, eventually reaching normality. Beyond that it is a perfectly passable pseudo xianxia with some interesting variations. I particularly like that while the MC has some blatantly OP abilities, it is not all the very best.
A few chapters are mediocre smut, but easily skippable.
Over all a damn fine story it’s still only the very beginning as you expect from a cultivation story but I feel drawn in to the world and want to keep reading and yes the main character is a sex vampire but that comes across as her stealing power from people then normal smut over all in my follow list well worth a read and very well writin.
The setting concept is nothing new, but it's done fairly well. However, the constant abuse of the English language (spelling, grammar, syntax, and usage) interferes with any flow the story might have.