A Sith's Journey

by Kiro

Fan Fiction ONGOING Comedy Mystery Psychological Sci-fi Harem High Fantasy Male Lead Secret Identity Strong Lead Villainous Lead Wuxia
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Alone and without answers, our Main character must discover why he has been sent to the Star Wars Universe. With enemies at every turn, he struggles to survive and adapt. Sith scheme, Jedi hunt him down, Bounty Hunters want his head. He must learn what it takes to harness the Force, and forge his own path. 

~

~

~

 

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 110,387
  • Average Views :
  • 3,680
  • Followers :
  • 1,081
  • Favorites :
  • 325
  • Ratings :
  • 308
  • Pages :
  • 272
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
Kiro

Kiro

Achievements
100,000 Views
1,000 Followers
Word Count (VIII)
Top List #200
75 Comments
Fledgling Reviewer (II)
Great Review (IV)
4th Anniversary
Advertisement
Remove

Leave a review

Reviews
Sort by:
Branded-Tier
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

The writing gets worse as it goes on and it's not particularly well written. It feels like a first draft of a story that hasn't been planned out.

From pacing, to plotting, to romance—it's all shoved in like the author just hopes that some part of it is going to work. The grammar and word choice is just flat out bad, things like using than in the place of then and using words entirely incorrectly.

The dialogue barely deserves to be called dialogue and the main character isn't developed well. His characterization changes seemingly dependent on the author's mood.

All around, this exists and it's not the worst thing I've ever read but it doesn't deserve its current rating or spot on trending.

Interesting story concept though. Showing parts of the Star Wars universe that don't get seen often. The novelty of seeing Sith training is probably the only reason this is popular right now. I could do without half the story being pseudo-philosophical mumbo jumbo that the author makes up though. The source material has plenty of explanations for the force, both the light and dark side, no need to make it up as you go. You could even link it real philosophical concepts if you want to be original. Otherwise, it’s just a waste of the reader’s time.

some_total_kretin
  • Overall Score

R FOR READABLE IN NEED OF EDITOR

Reviewed at: Chapter - 26 - Coruscant

TL;DR: The idea is nice and the resulting fiction readable, if barely. The reason being it needs a competent editor.

There! I said it! Now for the defficencies.

Point one: Who in this day and age still thinks it is a good idea to use first person present tense (and not much else) as narrative perspective? I certainly don't!

Point two: Grammar slips. Not a big boo boo, but they are there and combined with the confusing perspective some passages can be likened to solving a puzzle.

Point three: Details! Could use more of them!

Point four: Dialogues! For some reason they feel wooden. I can't help much in this aspect, cause I have the same problem when I try writing something, but you should ask some proffesional reviewer to give you a complex spanking (meaning you should ask for a comprehensive review from someone who can point out your defficencies/inefficencies/mistakes in a clear and concise manner).

RationalMind
  • Overall Score

Although it's SW fanfiction. It doesn't feel like a typical SW fic. And I'm not complaining.
The Author is adding his own flavors into the Force lore.
I think Star Wars fanfiction will be more appreciated in Spacebattles or Sufficientvelocity. There you can get more helpful feedback (maybe).
Regarding the Sith academy, I think acolytes and apprentices are more brutal and violent than depicted in the story. And Dark side users are usually more ugly due to Dark side corruption and regular scars (hence much use of cybernetics). So don't beautify all the girls you see.

PS - I'm not sure but I think there should be a 'Strong Lead' tag.

PPS - Don't drop the story.

Pez
  • Overall Score

As of Chapter 10, throughly enjoying this tale through the Dark Side.  We don't know where or when in the SW universe this takes place, but seems like sometime during (or near) The Old Republic.

Story has an interesting mechanic (no spoilers) that keeps this story pretty fresh, so far.  It will be interesting to see how it develops.

kongarthur
  • Overall Score

Feels like a bad cultivation novel

Reviewed at: Chapter 9 - Schemes

It didn't feel like a star wars story at all the names are all generic non chinese cultivation names and the sith just felt like a cultivation sect.

I have only read nine chapters but this has to be the worst star wars story I've ever read. The time loop is interesting but taht's all that's interesting. The sith are all super beautiful and friendly when nearly no sith are.

Stephen Lewis
  • Overall Score

I'm not a fan of 1st person novels but this was decent probably will not continue 

 

Not my cup of tea but if you like star wars give it a try

DNos
  • Overall Score
 

 

Very interesting am up for this ride

Silent Rain
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

The only and only reason for the four star in character. Is because of the rate of mental adjustment to the situation. Not that it couldn't happen for someone to adjust that quickly, but usually there is background information or some sort of reason for that particular reaction. Other than that everything is fine. 

licus
  • Overall Score

Just writing this review because unlike the films this made me interested in Star Wars again.

This is why I'll give it a full score :)

The story isn't perfect, but I think it is compelling and very interesting. Though there are some grammatical errors and could use a great editor. It never broke the immersion for me.

TheSandsOfDeception
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Force users, in the Star Wars universe, are very overpowered in some ways. Being able to sense the future? Wack. Being able to move at superhuman speeds? Wack. Having glowy laser swords? Wack.

 

But being well-rounded people that have good mental health and don't immediately gravitate towards insane extremes? They're not very good at that.

 

The MC of this story seems to understand this, and I see this story as a balance between a continual MC powerup, and a reasonable character trying to bludgeon some semblance of moderation into the teachings of the Sith and Jedi.