A Sith's Journey

by Kiro

Fan Fiction HIATUS Comedy Mystery Psychological Sci-fi Harem High Fantasy Male Lead Secret Identity Strong Lead Villainous Lead Wuxia
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Alone and without answers, our Main character must discover why he has been sent to the Star Wars Universe. With enemies at every turn, he struggles to survive and adapt. Sith scheme, Jedi hunt him down, Bounty Hunters want his head. He must learn what it takes to harness the Force, and forge his own path. 

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  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
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  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
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  • Pages :
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Author
Kiro

Kiro

Achievements
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Word Count (VIII)
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Starveling
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

The writing gets worse as it goes on and it's not particularly well written. It feels like a first draft of a story that hasn't been planned out.

From pacing, to plotting, to romance—it's all shoved in like the author just hopes that some part of it is going to work. The grammar and word choice is just flat out bad, things like using than in the place of then and using words entirely incorrectly.

The dialogue barely deserves to be called dialogue and the main character isn't developed well. His characterization changes seemingly dependent on the author's mood.

All around, this exists and it's not the worst thing I've ever read but it doesn't deserve its current rating or spot on trending.

Interesting story concept though. Showing parts of the Star Wars universe that don't get seen often. The novelty of seeing Sith training is probably the only reason this is popular right now. I could do without half the story being pseudo-philosophical mumbo jumbo that the author makes up though. The source material has plenty of explanations for the force, both the light and dark side, no need to make it up as you go. You could even link it real philosophical concepts if you want to be original. Otherwise, it’s just a waste of the reader’s time.

B.Reyes
  • Overall Score

It is an exciting read. A very unique take on the Star Wars world. Can't wait to find out more of the MC's adventures.

Mojito
  • Overall Score

This is in regards to the author. Thank you for letting us view your world of cloud. 

To the readers. the first 5 chapters are rough. Borderline unbearable to read, but eventually it got really good. I am enjoying clouds adventure. Although the first part with the jedi being there is a bit confusing and why would her fellow sith masters want to kill cloud and her could he of just of hidden the jedi and kept the sith scene up? But right now man that 7 day break is kill me. Mass release Mass release Mass release. 

Hillory Dean
  • Overall Score

I have a dentist appointment in an hour

Reviewed at: Chapter 29 - Jedi Trials

Not a big fan of star wars lore anymore because all its been is a recycling of the same characters and deus ex machina plot lines. In my desperation  for a decent LN and against my typical hatred for non original story writting I clicked on this novel.......

Goddamit, if this wasn't some some good "ish". I am impressed, the author has done a great job of creating a plotline that has a purpose, but still leaves room for different avenues to be explored. With some decent MC character development involved (side characters good use some work) and a decent "leveling curve" implemented this shows promise. 

If you are like me and scour the internets for good LN, reading review after review to ensure the LN you are about to invest your time into isn't a cringy piece of garbage. You can stop at this review and click chapter one and then two, three,...... cause this one has some potential 

LVL. 1 SUBSIDY
  • Overall Score

Only time i watched starwars was as a kid. So my lore and other knowledge on star wars is a bit foggy. 

So its really a nice breeze of fresh air to read about an original character.

May not be to everyones taste but i liked it.

some_total_kretin
  • Overall Score

TL;DR: The idea is nice and the resulting fiction readable, if barely. The reason being it needs a competent editor.

There! I said it! Now for the defficencies.

Point one: Who in this day and age still thinks it is a good idea to use first person present tense (and not much else) as narrative perspective? I certainly don't!

Point two: Grammar slips. Not a big boo boo, but they are there and combined with the confusing perspective some passages can be likened to solving a puzzle.

Point three: Details! Could use more of them!

Point four: Dialogues! For some reason they feel wooden. I can't help much in this aspect, cause I have the same problem when I try writing something, but you should ask some proffesional reviewer to give you a complex spanking (meaning you should ask for a comprehensive review from someone who can point out your defficencies/inefficencies/mistakes in a clear and concise manner).

Pez
  • Overall Score

As of Chapter 10, throughly enjoying this tale through the Dark Side.  We don't know where or when in the SW universe this takes place, but seems like sometime during (or near) The Old Republic.

Story has an interesting mechanic (no spoilers) that keeps this story pretty fresh, so far.  It will be interesting to see how it develops.

RationalMind
  • Overall Score

Although it's SW fanfiction. It doesn't feel like a typical SW fic. And I'm not complaining.
The Author is adding his own flavors into the Force lore.
I think Star Wars fanfiction will be more appreciated in Spacebattles or Sufficientvelocity. There you can get more helpful feedback (maybe).
Regarding the Sith academy, I think acolytes and apprentices are more brutal and violent than depicted in the story. And Dark side users are usually more ugly due to Dark side corruption and regular scars (hence much use of cybernetics). So don't beautify all the girls you see.

PS - I'm not sure but I think there should be a 'Strong Lead' tag.

PPS - Don't drop the story.

Sandsforever
  • Overall Score

I'm not a fan of 1st person novels but this was decent probably will not continue 

 

Not my cup of tea but if you like star wars give it a try

Asam Master
  • Overall Score

personaly, i love narration at the first persone

ex Mr robot, Dexter, mother of lerning

Spoiler: Spoiler

i am not really good in english so i can't speak of grammary so can't tell

i don't see major flaw that you can see in many story in royal road

  1. good balance of power the character is not OP at the 3 chapter
  2.  he dosen't tell his secret to everyone  or at the first girl he meets
  3. the progression is not to slow or to fast  it s steady rythm
  4.  for the world bulding,  it s stars wars so, not much to talk about, you like it or not but you know what you gone find
    Spoiler: only problem

     

in the end it s good story with a unique approche on how to imagine the force in stars wars.

i am impatient to see what gone happen next

sorry for my english if we can call that english