The Fragmented Six (Six Chances)
[Participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
What would you do if your life, memories, and feelings were suddenly tied to another person?
Six people. One life.
A spoiled prince haunted by a ghost. A big city swindler with a knack for illusions. A cold soldier with a sharp eye. A pirate with a few screws loose. A chieftain’s bookish daughter with carefully bandaged hands. A peacekeeping agent with an eye for vengeance.
After simultaneously knocking on death’s door, these six find themselves psychically connected across national lines. Tensions rise between them and between their respective countries, which are recovering from a long war over the mysterious vitae—an energy source harvested and utilized in weapons and engines called conductors. Loyalty, memory, and sense of self blur as conspiracies encroach.
Assassination attempts, underground weapons dealings, border conflicts, tales of terrifying beasts, and a terrorist organization called ELPIS.
—Everything is connected. Nothing is coincidental. The spark has ignited…!
Part I: The Converging Six [COMPLETE]
Part II: The Illusionary Six [COMPLETE / (Deep editing)]
Part III: The Fragmented Six [ONGOING]
In-depth blurbs for each part within.
Contains found family, magitech, parallel plotlines that converge, conspiracies, morally gray characters, Chekhov's guns, and a lot of character development.
Mainly posted here. Vote for it here!
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=A story of healing disguised as a psychological fantasy action mystery=
I was recommended this story by a friend. Hello @templerun1000 (what is that username). Never really been on RoyalRoad before because LitRPGs are not my thing, but lockdown prompted me to give this story a try. And I am so glad I did.
The story follows a group of 6 different people with very different values becoming psychically connected together and being forced to deal with conspiracy theories and a terrorist organization ELPIS. It starts slowly then accelerates. TLDR; read it. It’s entertaining as hell.
I will now break down, as per site guidelines, this review into story, character, style, grammar. It’s gonna be a long one.
Part I acts more like an introductory arc, showcasing how the six characters (royalty, soldier, pirate, uwu flowergirl, swindler, peacekeeper + ghost?) react to their initial psychic connection and how they realized how interconnected their lives were even before the connection began. World building (Post WW-I/II with magic?) is intense here, and the author paints a colorful world full of colorful people dealing with the aftermath of a big war.
Part II is a deeper dive into the characters and their interactions and motivations. The stakes increase (as they should as any story progresses). Here, we see what makes the characters really tick and how a particularly set of people have made the best out of a post-war era. The gray morality and parallels and foils present in this part are nice to dissect.
I noticed that the character arc for the titular character of this part is like an expansion or a deeper dive of the character arc in Part I. Which gels really well as a whole.
Part III-VI (?) are…? TBD
One thing that is really impressive is how the author keeps SIX parallel plot lines running smoothly side by side and somehow manages to intertwine all of those plot lines succinctly. TWICE. I can only imagine how many notes someone has to take to accomplish that.
Nothing happens without reason. The world changes and progresses around them with their actions and the actions of villains/side characters.
Anyway, while each part reads like a book with a central plot/problem/issue/villain that connects the six parallel plot lines, there does appear to be an overarching theme/plot here.
There’s also a major theme of repeating mistakes, cycles (of the spiritual, physical, and behavioralistic nature), changing, and moving instead of staying in place.
Okay. Here we are. What the story is all abouot. First we have a spoilt prince who keeps an insult book in his back pocket. Then we have a swindler whose lying and manipulation matches her ability to disguise herself as anyone or anything she chooses. Then there’s the lieutenant whose strict, cold, and professional to the point of purposeful ridiculousness. Then we have a pirate who lacks understanding, thinks she’s omnipotent, and lives life carelessly on the edge. Next we have a seemingly innocent, gentle bookworm who is the most morally black out of all of them. And then we have a peacekeeper who just wants to break certain people apart.
All of the characters are wonderfully flawed. They’re filled in and affected by their history and backstory. They make mistakes and lerarm form them. They hold dfferent values. They bounce off of each other and butt heads exactly how people with their personality types would in the real world. Their motivations conflict with each other. Many of them have past traumas of varying extremity. And, as most trauma survivors do, they come together (sometimes unwillingly) to support one another as they realize their similarities. Not instantly but slowly and surely. I’m just glad the author doesn’t go the WE ARE FRIENDS NOW INSTANTLY route. It takes time. And the wait is rewarding at the end.
The main six each contribute a particularly skillset to the group and are shaped not only by the other five but also by the side-characters/villains surrounding them.
The side characters each also have their own personal motivations and goals. So do the villains whether they’re well-meaning or not. I 100% believe the author has a gigantic word document for each character because it’s crazy the detail that’s involved.
Each character grows noticeably with each part/story arc, especially if they’re the titular character for the part. And that’s whether it’s forward progress (5/6 of them I think) or backwards progress (1/6 of them I think). Backwards progress in this case is still progress.
There's parallels between the six main characters and characters outside of them, and it's done succinctly. There are other literary devices used but I won't deep dive into that.
The style changes with every POV switch which makes for a refreshing read. Especially in Part I. In part II, the styles begin to blend together somewhat. I’m not sure if this is because the author will go back and do a final edit(as stated in numerous author notes) or if its purposeful to represent the six coming together. Either way its nice. For people who don’t like multiple POV, the author provides recaps at the beginning of the chapter. It still can be jarring for people not used to it though.
I can’t really say much since I have to use grammarly all the time but I couldn’t see any glaring errors. Part I is definitely cleaner then Part II though. But the author says they’re going to do a final edit.
I noticed that this portion of the review tends to be short for other reviewers too lmao. Anyway…
To be honest, I don’t think this story is suited for this particular website because of the website’s high focus on LitRPG/time loop/grimdark/Isekai stories. I do hope the author converts this into a book even though she says she’s not going to (author note) because this story deserves more eyes on it. It’s a very heartfelt yet exciting story about repeating mistakes and moving forward despite what life throws at you. With a dash of government conspiracy and flashy lights and coming full circle.
Rant end. I hope this review was coherent and helpful to future possible readers.
Will update as additional parts are released. If I remember my password to this account.
Ms Fiction says...
I love it. Makes me want to have my own psychic link group except with less fighting. But we’re human so I guess that’s hard. The fluff areas are nice. Mysterious. Logical magic system. Lovable characters and interactions. A little bit of everything. FMA x Steins Gate x Durarara. Consistent updates.
Very good. Must read. Lovely 'realisitc' world.
Very very slight grammatical errors.
Super awesome characters (as in they are very three-dimensional).
Some little bits of questionable world-building and plot convenience. Easily overshadowed by the deapth and breath of the world-building most of the time.
Very good immersion level.
Author will very likely iron out all that meticulously overtime, but even now it's still a great read.
Go ahead and fall into the world (continent) of Signum. My suggestion is to read it from the author's website (like the fonts and pretty brackets used).
I need the sleep now.
Overall: 5/5 - I'm going to go ahead and give you all a TL;DR now, so you don't need to read this long review. I've been reading this since around 800ish pages in, and I created an account to reivew this! That should tell you how good this is. This is right up there with Worm for me in terms of sheer worldbuilding prowess and fantastic character development. Read this!
Style: 5/5 - This would be the lowest point for me at a 4/5, but watching the author's prose increasinlgy get better as the story goes on has been so satisfying. Right now, she (?) strikes an insane balance between poetic writing without feeling too purple, and not feeling too clinical or overly descriptive. The dialogue has gotten increasingly tight, and there are absolutely zero infodumps through them. Fantastic!
Grammar: 5/5 - My shortest section, I really couldn't find anything glaring. The author is editing the story as she posts it, so she'll probably find the little things as she goes.
Story - Holy shit. I won't spoil anything, but the evolution from relatively seperate stories about people with connected minds to psychological war drama is nothing short of outstanding. The way this author brings everything together is a talent in of itself. The world is never dumped onto the reader, and instead, gradually built along and increases in scale with each part.
But now, onto the best point...
Characters: 5/5 - I would rate this a 7/5 if I could. So, not only can this author juggle a giant fictional world, but she can also juggle 6 characters. 6! And she can make them have incredible character arcs on top of that. Even the charcters I didn't exactly "love" in the beginning, I love now. They've all got such incredible stories, and Werner's story in the current part has been nothing short of incredible. Great job, author!
So… literally my first thought after finishing part 1 was WHERE’S THE SEQUEL! Then I read part 2 and it was EVERYTHING I could’ve asked for and more. Now I’m waiting on part 3 because I NEED MORE! THE WAIT IS KILLING ME!
The longing for this book to be turned into a live television series or have an anime adaptation cause HOLY SHIT What. A. RIDE?! I had so many thoughts and feelings that I needed to sit down and organize them. So hopefully this review isn’t too sloppy and actually does this amazing book some justice. Also. slight Spoiler Warning just in case. Nothing major. I'll keep it vague but I still recommend reading the story first.
Writing Style! - First off, I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again a million times over. I freaking love the writing style! There’s something extremely alluring and simple about it without coming off as childish. It’s such a breeze to read and doesn’t strain your brain. Doesn’t use too many complicated words/sentences (I’m a dummy and tend stick to the easy reads) So this was a pleasure to read. I thought the sentences/dialogue/cross dialogues (which is when a character are using their mind voice, so to speak) is so clear and well written. I’ve yet to read a story written this way (even concept wise) anywhere. I love the dialogues of this story in general cause it’s so well written. The humor, the charm, the wittiness. Chef’s kiss author! Well done! It was a super-fast read and I loved every minute of it.
Story/Plot! – The Concept of the story is so cool and new and unique! It’s based off of the zodiac signs (which is really cool!) and I love the attention to details given to every city so far. They’re all so distinct and given their history, it makes sense why it is the way it is. You can really tell the author put a lot of thought behind both the concept and how vitae is used to the way the world is built. It’s so well thought out I can’t help but be super impressed and gush about it. Well rounded world building IS MY JAM! At first, the feel of the story gave me very Avatar: TLAB and FMAB vibes (AND I LOVE BOTH THOSE SHOWS!) Now the feel itself has become its own unique thing (Which is why I desperately wish this story is turned into its own anime series. LORD KNOWS IT DESERVES ONE!)
Grammar - I have nothing to complain about when it comes to grammar. It was immaculate. I found maybe one or two typoes in all of 83 chapters. And that's only if your really looking for them.
Characters! - AND I SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST! The characters! Oh the characters! I love the fact that in just a few lines (for each of their introduction chapters) I’ve already fallen for them. Especially Olive, Cadence and Atienna from the main cast! And Francis/Theta and Omicron from the supporting cast. When I read the first few chapters I already liked the characters but as the story went on I fell in love and even dreamt about them in my sleep. I love how, despite himself and his exasperation to many things, Olive cares a lot about other people and the world even if it doesn’t directly affect him. He's such a feeler but would totally deny it. And I also love how much he’s come to love and care for the people who are connected to him. More than you’d expect and more than he’ll let on at first glance. I love how he seems like a grump on the surface but he has a heart of gold underneath all that Royalty. (He reminds me a lot of my younger brother in his teen years) He’s so cute and I wanna give him a hug. I love that Cadence is like a street rat. Everyone underestimates her but that’s the biggest mistake ever. She’s so clever and witty and smol and I empathize a lot with the fact that she’s had to grow to act a certain way just to survive in the harsh Twin Cities of Gemini. It’s really shaped her as a person. Flaws and all. (That could be said for all of them but her most of all. She didn’t ask for this life but dammit she’s making the most of it) Werner is pretty cool too. I didn’t get to see much of him (or rather I should say, his internal self) in the first part so I wasn’t too attached but man! Part 2 took me by surprise! Werner wormed his way into my heart. You see little glimpses of who he really is and while he might be cool and collected about many things, when it comes to himself he’s far from it. And I sympathize a lot! He has so much potential and I can’t wait to see what he’ll learn about himself in the future. Maria!!! Oh man! Where to begin! I love Maria cause god damn! What a wild card she is! I also love her simplistic way of life. She’s so carefree and sees the world in black and white and doesn’t complicate matters and man, her skills are on part with Werner’s! RESPECT! I wish we all could see the world the way she does. I bet it would make the world a better place. More fun and exciting and peaceful too! (She’s very cool for a ‘pirate’) Atienna straight away become one of my favorites just because she’s Virgoan (And I’m a Virgo lol) and she’s everything I wish I was irl. She prefers observing and analyzing before acting rashly in any given situation. She can be cold at times, but I constitute that to her being true to herself and I highly respect that. We as humans sometimes lie to ourselves and sympathize out of guilt from feeling detached instead of feeling it genuinely but very very few of us are really honest about it to ourselves. But Atienna is. She questions everything. About the world and herself. I think it’s very important to be self-aware. She’s also very smart and knowledgeable and full of wisdom (which she learns more and more as the story progresses) Jericho is also a very interesting character! I didn’t know much about him earlier on in the chapters. He was always a mystery to me (but that unknown is what made him so interesting) I was intrigued right away but the more I learnt about his past, my heart went out for him too! His backstory along with Cadence’s are my favorites so far! I also really love his fighting style! So anime! Francis also was my favorite brother out of the Foxman brothers. (I have a thing for brothers) so when I later found out the truth about him and Theta, it was the biggest most shocking revelation ever I couldn’t breathe! But then Omicron and Theta’s perspective was being shown and god my heart just went out to them. Their love for each other through generations made me feel all warm and gooey inside. Even though they are a part of ELPIS, a terrorist organization, I couldn’t help but want them to have a happy ending and GOSH! SO MANY FEELZ! I DONNO WHAT TO DO WITH IT ALL! I JUST WANT TO WRAP ALL THIS CHARACTERS IN THE SOFTERST BLANKET AND PROTECT THEM FOREVER AND EVER! Plus, the dynamic they have with each other really begins to shine in Part 2 and I COULDN’T GET ENOUGH! I always looked forward to who would synchronize with whom in every chapter. In part 2 you really get to see them grow and become more and more fleshed out. Theta and Omicron while viewed as antagonists throughout the whole series, gets their own time to shine in the spotlight and stole my heart as well. I never expected to love them so much. I cried at the ending few chapters of part 2. So many emotions fluctuating between feeling absolute joy to wonder to excitement to heartbreak and everything in between (and in the middle during one of Cadence/Werner’s chapters… if you’ve read the story, you know what I’m talking about)
All in all… This is turning out to be one of my favorite reads so far! And I legit can’t wait for part 3 to be completed. I’ll probably come back and update my review when that happens. Keep up the awesome work author! We love you and your masterpiece so much! AND CANT WAIT FOR MORE!
reading only the first chapter you realize the great story that awaits you, just great.
a great introduction, and great characters
you can see the passion of the author towards his own work
I'm too excited to see the story unfold for all the great characters that are presented , thanks for such a great history
i don't write reviews on this site havent decided to create account until recently but have been following this story for some time. i liked seeing it evolve and rise in the ranking system. i wasn't going to write a review but i noticed that the ranking dropped drastically recently so i assume it was rating blomb so im trying to support you author by dong this
its a good story, good characters, good mystery, good atmosphere, good worldbuilding. no grammar or style issues. great characters. keep at it. wish more people gave this story a try.story builds up nicely towards something bigger. characters shine in their part. art is pretty
apparently advanced revies have to be longer so here we are with me trying ot extend this review. werner is my favorite cahracter then atienna and cadence. didnt like cadence that much until part two. is this 200 characters yet i dunot know. this is hard. really nice writing style. what else to say...... still not at 200 words dang. how do people write such long reviews .anyways this is a different storyo yo should give it a shot i guess. still not 200 words how does this work.
good story good character good story good character good story good characer
Updated Review up to ch 88! Old review in spoiler tags. Ratings staying the same.
Okay, time to update my review with a couple of new thoughts. Part 1 was great. Really played with the title "SYNCHRONIZED Six". Part 2 was amazing. The emotional depth of the characters and their internal struggles, flaws, lies, and self-deception/illusion. "ILLUSIONARY" Six. Mmmm good stuff. Fragmented Six? We shall see.
Each part so far, while fitting into the whole of the story, feels unique in its own right. Like each 'feel' of each part matches with the feel of the focal-character/title of that story. I have high hopes for part three because Werner is the feature character lol.
Things are being revealed gradually, and we're learning things as the characters are learning them. I never know what to expect next. I also appreciate the longer chapters
10/27/20 (Review up to ch 56): What the title says. This is an unusual story to find on royalroad. It's like an indie song. Twenty one pilots or paramore before they got popular. It's unique in that sense. And I love uniqueness.
The story follows six people who suddenly find themselves psychically connected in a way that reminds of the French film In Your Eyes or Sense8--except the characters here have their own personal goals/motivations separate from one another that usually leads to them having a whole lot of conflict. Their interactions are top notch with all of them being clearly distinct form the other. The supporting cast is also entertaining to read but there are a lot of characters. Thankfully there's a guide to help you sort through that if you struggle with that kind of thing. And the supporting characters don't take too much time away from the main cast.
i can tell a lot of thought went into planning the plot. No fillers that I can see and even the "interludes" serve to move the plot forward. The six MCs have their own mini plot lines that contribute to a larger plot line of figuring out why they suddenly became psychically connected and why ELPIS (a terrorist organization in the world) is targeting them and what in the world a 'syzgy' is. The mystery tag is definitely there for a reason.
If you enjoy complex characters, mystery, and people working through their differences to come together then this is the story for you!
This is a great novel. It is super creative and fun. I can condense this review down into one word, good. However if you want to stick around I will break it down into sections.
The author's writing style flows very well and meshes together fantastically. Organization makes sense and moves at a very good pace. Extremely descriptive but not over the top. Dialogue is very well done. No huge exposition dumps. 5/5
The story in this novel is my favorite part. The magic system is extremely unique, frankly unlike anything I have ever read. All the pieces of the story fit together logically. Somehow the author managed to not make exposition dumps, despite there being many separate stories all occurring at the same time. 5/5
I didn’t notice any issues in grammar throughout. Punctuation seemed to be spot on. There may have been a couple issues, but I didn’t see them. 5/5
All the characters are different, having their own quirks. Some of them can be a pain (They know who they are) but they fit into the story well. Despite some poor choices I overall enjoy the characters and what they add to the story. 4.5/5
This is clearly a character driven story and so the total quality of the story hinges on said character. Its good then that the six different main charactters are each interesting (and more imprtantly) unique in their own way. The characters all vary from each other greatly but they all had an equal ammount of care and attention giving to them. Their actions and behavior are understandable and it doesn't feel like any one is more of a 'main character' then the others. they each have their own place and niche to fill in the world that is being crafted in the story. Speaking of the world, the story has an interesting blend of fantasy and modernity that feels like an actual mechanical factor of reality rather than just haphazardly placed solely as a literrary device. Good characters in a good world, what more could you ask for?