Endless possibility calls Lanthim Frenost lets follow his turbulent life as he finds his way through a new world of intrigue, wealth, power, magic and love. What does this life have in store for him? Will he grow strong unmatched in all the world or be crushed into nothing left by the wayside to fall into nothing.
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Lets begin with my opening phrases to identify this FF and that is “For those who like a puppet Mc”
You may ask me “why you say puppet” well you will understand if you read the whole review, [note: this review is based on the 14 chapters out so far]
First lets say the biggest flaw this FF is sadly the grammar. And this one is personal and this is the reason why i wont continue reading this FF and that is “I HATE WHEN THE MC IS OP BUT GETS NERFED BY BAD REASONS”
Now onwards the review:
Reason being i cant get into your style due to your grammar changing a lot of the meanings/sentences and confusing me while trying to read.
I liked the first 5 chapters even if the grammar was so barely bearable…but this took a turn towards the badplot train and the reason was so stupid i cant stand the Mc after ch.7
As i stated on Style part, your grammar is terrific im really sorry and i know you are really trying the best you can, but sometimes i feel you using google traductor or something that makes my eyes bleed when reading.
Ex. They’re= They are/were in short and is NOT THE SAME AS “their”
Ex. She/He= and when referring to things that belong would be She=her & he=his
I was so confused in early chapters that i thought the Mc mother was actually having him as her first child, but was a misunderstanding referring to her having him as a first MALE CHILD
You see out of all my reviews im not happy to say this one is the lowest score i’ve given but its mainly because of grammar and then character…
MC: he is a puppet to the gods…why? The first time he met with the gods he asked them to let him rest in peace or more precisely let him go, but the gods gave no M about it and still reincarnated him for THEIR OWN PURPOSE.
For the next chapters he is having fun training his Mana but sadly the MC is not smart….he does it without caring about who see him, and what he does…but still it was no reason to seal him…
Next one of the gods meet him and seal him because he is careless, this was the boiling point for me, A SEAL WAS EXCESIVE. But that was not all the reason also was because it would ONLY BENEFIT THE GODS I HE IS STILL ALIVE AND WELL.
Now my only question is WHY SHOULD HE GIVE AN F ABOUT THEIR PROBLEM IF THEY FORCEFULLY REINCARNATED HIM? There is no reason, his best time was when playing with mana but it was forcefully taken from him by the gods…and to top it all, it is said to help char. Development? What a joke, why? Keep reading.
There is no info on the other characters…no info on Milty, on the Sister, The Mother, The Gods…everyone is a Big Blank Page…
And later we discover that the “seals” were actually making the Mc a walking time bomb…FOR THE GODS PURPOSE, ERGO THE GODS OR “TRUE MAGI” HERE ARE BEINGS SELFISH AND SCARED they are basically forcing the Mc to do their bidding.
There was a point where i thought why does he not just only kill himself…a life manipulated so openly is not worth living…and suddenly he just walks like ” oh the gods tried to use me as a bloody kamikaze to kill their target, nothing to do here” no anger…and no sadness…not even an inch of pride in the Mc…ergo this feels just plain to read… gg wp
The story itself would have been good, if the author would have gotten a proofreader or someone who has experience with english grammar.
Punctuation is nonexistent in his chapters. This in turn results in his sentences becoming complete nonsense or worse.
The author seems to not know the difference between "they're" "their" and "there".
Story: Would have been good if he/she hadn't ruined it with chapter 6 and following. Really, he is a baby and noone is caring for him. He is getting punished for something he doesn't even know that it shouldn't be that way, because NOONE IS CARING FOR HIM! There is just a caretaker who is observing him, nothing more. (lets say you are a baby and play with your hands. Suddenly a mighty being comes and takes your hands away because you are not supposed to play with them. How should you have known if noone ever told or showed you what to do?)
Grammar: Right Grammar almost nonexistent
Character: We know nothing of the people beside the MC (and about him we know little too).
His mother: Unknown to us except that she is his mother and teaches
His father: completely unknown except that he has another wife
Caretaker Milty: unknown except that she is a witch and has a familiar
You push people into the story but we get to know nothing about them and the interaction with your MC is almost nonexistent (what is hard to believe because he is a baby in the chapters i read)
The True magi: They reincarnate him, tell him nothing and punish him for not knowing anything? come on, that is plain ridiculous
You started with nice 4 chapters, but suddenly you seem to think to yourself: "Lets ruin my MC and make him an useless puppet" and that is what happens. Story not worth reading further
Grammar is weak. Character development is weak. Story is basically a BAD mashup of all popular story tropes. It's plain boring.
Style/Grammar-The way your sentences shift from one form to another is terrible. Like reading a quote then the writer suddenly changed his thoughts in mid sentence.
The characters. Oh god have mercy
Story – at first it was interesting but obviously a mainstream plot. then you tried to deal with “unfortunate events” but did a bad job of conveying your thoughts. this story was like written while being thought up from scratch. Like one of those wild fantasies you think up in a bathroom
This story is just bad choice. As for the writer, you are not improving at all.
+some minor Spoilers +
Well the author is actually good at using third person point of view, despite misused of punctuation marks.
Does it even exist in these novel? Author just keep releasing chapter even though some doesn’t make any sense, now when mc came back he married his mother/grandmother because of some bs reason, dude I know this fiction bit that doesn’t mean that everything can freaking happen.
Fix it damn it, I know I’m bad at English too but that’s the reason why I don’t write novels, to save others from burning their eyes from my grammatical errors.
They are technically robots, puppets whose just there for the sake of moving the plot, basically their existence is non existent.
Here’s some link that might help you.
Seriously what is wrong with the reviewers... Your Story is great and I really has a great time reading it.
I may be not a professor on grammar nor story line... however your story really good and i enjoyed it!
some People really hate when the MC get nerfed but that making the story even more interesting!! how he fighting to regain his power and fighting to be better, is the fist thing making the story interesting! While most fiction in this web talking about how OP the MC and end the trouble easily...
Can't wait to read moar!!!!
its has a weak beginning, needs work with the characters because you can't really remember who is who in this story with all the characters being introduced making it a bit confusing but with all that the story is building momentum with each chapter, mc needs a little work but so far i think the vagueness of his character makes him a bit of a mystery so that is a point in my book , the story already has a goal which is stopping some BIG BAD somewhere so that is good. need work on the geographical part and the mechanics of the current world the mc is in... like how did he get tracked so quickly even if its been six weeks because with his magic he could be anywhere unless its a small world where no one can hide.... anyway hope to read more chapters in the future because its a good story
The lack of good star this novel is getting is not deserving.
decent flow --- characters do not blend in --- fairly (for me at least) good personalities and a good story.
I wish to thank the author for a good story and I will keep track of this story in the future.
I would rate 5/5, but the lack of punctuation is killing me. You would be well advised to use more commas and periods within your paragraphs. I can mentally note where they can/should go, but that gets bothersome after a while.
Otherwise, it's in interesting start. However, don't you think the MC is developing too quickly? If that's the pace you want to use that's fine, but it's a bit unnatural, even in a world of magic.
Has a great start and a very strong beginning.
the MC has a bit of a fast start and feels like he is rushing his training a bit and not acting at all like a child
I think that the MC should of waited till he was at least one year old before the start of his mana training and had more of a focus on his physical body to have kept up the appearance of a child.
None the less a good story keep it up