- Traumatising content
The end-times have come.
Dimensional rifts to another world have opened and spewing out are creatures from humanity's nightmares.
The Spirit Realm has implemented the System as a desparate measure to arm humanity against the incursions in an attempt to protect their once home-lands, but cannot, will not, risk coming down to Earth themselves.
The System is a boon to humanity, finally giving them a chance at survival and even fighting back. And Ed intends to do much more than just survive...
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Its unfortunate because this is a genre that I like, but there is no depth to anything in it.
- The characters feel flat and unrealistic and there is no chemistry between any of them
- The ideas that they MC has don't seem to follow a logical train of thought and it will suddenly skip to him doing something major without explaining how he got to that point.
- There is no real sense of challenge with everything just hapening in the most convenient way for the MC
- The system is definately lacking in depth
+ The premise around the cause of the invasion and creation of the system is better then many that I have seen
+ The writing style is slightly jerky, however as a whole it is relatively easy to read compared to many stories on this site
It's a decent story with an interesting and pragmatic MC. The characters are 2.5D which is better than most everything on RR. The side chapters even advance the story.
Now, comes the harsh truth. The grammar needs some serious help. "It's" is short for "it is", and "its" is the possesive form of "it". The author's made a couple dozen of those glaring errors.
The style is non-linear. I, personally, am no fan of non-linear story telling, because I've read very few books that do it well. This story experiments with it in the beginning and it's...bad. The author should consider cannibalizing and rearrange those chapters, because they are an eyesore.
In conclusion, this is a story that should be read and while it's clear that the author is inexperienced, one can tell there is a lot of enthusiasm and some noticeable improvement in writing.
P.S.: Please change the cover. It's too similar to Randidly.
this is a fun read just as it is:)
good story. Good characters. Good system and background. Good world. Dig it all.
Some grammatical errors here and there that would be fixed with a proofreader, but nothing substantial.
The author mentions some of the way through that he was considering doing a rewrite- I agree with his decision to push on and keep going despite whatever inconsistcies or imperfections in the story. I feel like momentum is one of the hardest things to find and maintain in a budding writer. It can carry you through to write and discover so much about your style and your worldbuilding.
The fiction is not super amazing necessarily yet if you have established-author level standards (still fun for me though!). But this is royal road, where new authors are supposed to discover and hone themselves. And where readers can pitch in to encourage and give helpful feedback. Hope author keeps going and goes for a long time!
Anyhow. Thanks author for your contribution to global happiness:)
Great start here! I'm a huge fan of the system coming to Earth through some sort of apocalypse and this is a nice addition.
Characters feel real but lack depth.
System needs to be fleshed out more in my opinion.
No numbers but makes sense.
For a first story, great job!
Fun concepts, nice characters, and overall an enjoyable read
Great story so far. Some areas could be a little bit more fleshed out but a good & interesting read! Would be nice to give the characters a little bit more depth. The background system with the spiritual world and the stats ranking is a nice idea.
Looking foward to more!
I'm a fan of stories that have characters that survive the apocalypse before the system comes, and this story does it well.
The style, grammer, story, and characters are also well done and don't leave me frustrated by "could be's" and "have not's".
This is a good story.
I binged this series over 2 days and am thoroughly enjoying it.
While I thoroughly enjoyed it, this story is still lacking somewhat in uniqueness in both story and mechanics. It takes a lot of common story tropes and mechanics of the genre and puts them together to make a well written piece though it needs something more to really set it apart.
I would happily recommend this story to anyone and I would buy it in a heartbeat if it were available on kindle.
I can't wait to see what the author does next.
Loving this story of far, as of chapter 23! Thanks for all the hard work!
I will not get any originality award but its solid and entertaining, the kind of story that only has to keep the same level of quality to get the readers from beginning to end, read it if you like the genre or if you have never tried it