Dungeon Sniper

by David Koon

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Comedy Fantasy Dungeon GameLit Harem High Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Portal Fantasy / Isekai Reincarnation Strategy War and Military

A world-class professional gamer is murdered over a prize money but is immediately given a job as a beta tester by a suspicious afterlife company. His job is to explore and find flaws within the New World, project name ‘Dungeon,’ which is set to launch after the scheduled Apocalypse in the next two millennia. In return for his service, he may acquire a share of the New World and become a deity of his own, if all things go well, that is. But this is no game, and the protagonist has to do his best just to stay alive in an unbalanced, perilous environment of the Dungeon filled with hostile monsters and antagonistic individuals. He starts out with nothing but a bow and a dozen arrows, and his only silver-lining is that he has a special ability to steal an enemy’s skills upon critical hits. Freshly code-named Beta, the protagonist sets out his adventure in the Dungeon.  

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 68,754
  • Average Views :
  • 1,809
  • Followers :
  • 425
  • Favorites :
  • 117
  • Ratings :
  • 105
  • Pages :
  • 434
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
David Koon

David Koon

Fantasist

Achievements
350 Comments
Word Count (11)
400 Followers
50,000 Views
Top List #2000
Advertisement
Remove
Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter One: Cost of Camaraderie ago
Chapter Two: Beta-Man Begins ago
Chapter Three: From Hunting to Hunted ago
Chapter Four: Fight or Flight ago
Chapter Five: Dead Meat ago
Chapter Six: Assessin' Assassin ago
Chapter Seven: A Lone Man's War ago
Chapter Eight: Unfinished Business ago
Chapter Nine: The Better Sniper ago
Chapter Ten: Mataki's Wish ago
Chapter Eleven: Fool Me Thrice, Pay the Price ago
Chapter Twelve: Dancing with the Dwarves ago
Chapter Thirteen: Minetown Massacre ago
Chapter Fourteen: Scoutin' Scouts ago
Chapter Fifteen: Tears Under the Bridge ago
Chapter Sixteen: Kill a Few, Save a Lot ago
Chapter Seventeen: Some Sniper Action ago
Chapter Eighteen: A Farewell Gift ago
Chapter Nineteen: Crack Away ago
Chapter Twenty: Runnels Rally ago
Chapter Twenty-One: Inventory and Falconry ago
Chapter Twenty-Two: Mock Chases ago
Chapter Twenty-Three: Traitor's Judgment ago
Chapter Twenty-Four: Mataki Returns ago
Chapter Twenty-Five: Colosseum Ultimatum ago
Chapter Twenty-Six: Trauma and Dogma ago
Chapter Twenty-Seven: A Gate to Considerate ago
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Liabilities and Capabilities ago
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Reptilina Dilemma ago
Chapter Thirty: Rescue or DQ ago
Chapter Thirty-One: Mêlée à Quatre ago
Chapter Thirty-Two: Benevolent Bystander ago
Chapter Thirty-Three: Onto Level Two ago
Chapter Thirty-Four: Early Christmas ago
Chapter Thirty-Five: Bull-Rats ago
Chapter Thirty-Six: Trigger-Happy ago
Chapter Thirty-Seven: Fee for Folly ago
Chapter Thirty-Eight: Call to Arms ago

Leave a review

Reviews
Sort by:
Mind sentience
  • Overall Score

The setting and idea of the world in this story is interesting. The MC is pretty trash in that he's supposed to be a sniper, but as u read the story understand that's not how a sniper operates. Snipers are long/extreme range combatants and fighting in close combat is the last thing they want to do.

Lets also bring up weapon of choice for the MC and explain why that doesn't work for a sniper. The bow an arrow is faster but every action costs stamina from the draw to and during the hold before release. This makes the weapon impractical for use by said ghost warrior, snipers have sit still in place for hrs if not days waiting for the perfect shot on their target to happen. Motionless for days with bow drawn not gonna happen, the correct 'sniper' weapon of choice for a medieval setting is the crossbow.

It can be drawn, locked, and loaded allowing it to be ready to fire when needed without a constant stamina drain on the user, this allows for greater precision in the shot. Also the sniper can actually lay down and/or achieve better nest spots without worrying again about the stamina drain of drawing and holding the bow.

then there's the bar scene which ruined this story. It's When the MC decided that going into an enclosed area filled with patrons and expecting to kill them with a bow and arrow was a good idea, not how a sniper operates. The MC died in that scene for me along with this story's potential.

I hope for a rewrite as I like the idea of this story, but the MC is to trash as it stands. rewrite it or kill it, I wish the author well regardless of their choice.

Elorie
  • Overall Score

Professional gamer, real-life moron. Getting tired of touted-up protagonists who appear to be making all the wrong choices for all the wrong reasons, but naturally win because the story needs to go on.

JamesSteimel
  • Overall Score

It went from being fairly interesting originally, but became grabage pretty quickly. Other than inconsistencies with the whole sniper thing. The MC has a very full brain it seems. After all the issues he encounters, he ignores the strength his unique ability presents him. The first animal he encounters allows him such a crutch for the book, it's such a quandary that he gains so much power from one creature and does not search for more and the power they would provide

Jack Blank
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Not a great story, but a good story worth reading

Reviewed at: Chapter Seven: A Lone Man's War

Our man is no great hero, no avenger of the weak, no mastermind, but he's someone who's stood on the top and has been introduced to a new element. 

No bullshit, just a good read, and it's good enough for me!

Azcheron
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

The Characters are inconsistent idiots.

Reviewed at: Chapter Fifteen: Tears Under the Bridge

The style varies, overall its pretty nice and easy to read. No complains there.

The story starts well, it's an interesting premise which hasn't been over-done and feels unique. However certain decisions are beggining to feel contrived and 'forced' for the sake of setting up 'ridiculous' situations which the author wants, rather than following a more legible or believable story. 

 

The grammar is good, no complains there. 

 

The character. The character is terrible. It starts out fine, and whens he's captured by the goblin's and decides to attack them and attempt to save the human women it /seems/ like a character building moment. Don't be fooled. When the MC is then caphtued by dwarves, and is about to be sold to elves before slaughtering them (and being enraged to hear about how they brutalised a human girl) it also /seems/ like a character building moment. 

It /seems/ like a character who hates slavery and will seek to free human slaves he finds, right? 

WRONG. 

Chapter 15 throws all character development out the window for the sake of making the MC a 'badass' who adopts a lone wold, 'my way or the highway' style, where he doesn't really care about saving or doing anything. It feels joke. The author just shits all over the M for the sake of making him have a ridiculous wordy argument with an elf, while also sexually harassing another elf and her human boyfriend. 

 

This loner who has had to fight and nearly got killed so many times while alone rejects willing allies out of hand for no real reason beyond the author deciding he doesn't want it to happen yet. 

Its some of the shittiest character building I've seen or RRL. 

 

Don't be fooled by the style and grammar, the author has no idea how to make consistent characters and doesn't even care to try. 

 

 Edit:Sorry for the shitty spelling, I'm on my phone so it's hard to check and edit it all, etc.