- Traumatising content
Waking up in a white room, surrounded by bones wasn't how Chris planned on spending the rest of his life. He hadn't planned on ending up in an alien laboratory full of caged monsters either.
Inducted into a world with strange blue screens that hint at a world of fantasy, magic, and danger, Chris must survive until the System whisks him away for the promised Tutorial. If help comes too late, Chris risks becoming something less than human, or something more...
Note: This story contains comedy as well as grimdark elements, that some readers might find out of place in a grimdark story. If you are one of those readers, this might not be the story for you.
(A more comprehensive list of tags is below.)
Contains: LitRPG, Fantasy, Xianxia
Settlement/Kingdom Building, Crafting
Dungeon Diving, Tower Ascension, Tower Defense
Lots of Combat, Dark/Grimdark Scenes, Comedy/Comedic Scenes
Fantasy, Magic, Post Apocalyptic (later), Sci-Fi (later)
Overpowered/OP MC, Some Monster MC Mechanics, Half-human MC
No Sex, No Harems, No Pseudo-harems
Releases: 5 per week (weekdays)
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[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
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This story is quite the good and enjoyable read, it does things just a bit different as litrpg stories like this tend to do, and it does them right, atleast up to the most recent chapter at time of review.
Christopher, or Chris is a rather normal person, one that loves playing MMO games, and would have kept doing so, if not for the system arriving on earth and taking away all its denizen in preparation for the Tutorial. He adjusts rather fast to having a status menu and stats in his real life, mostly thanks to all his knowledge and experience as a gamer, this allows him to get quite the head-start on other people, though does not prepare him at all for what finds him in the prepatory time. Now in the Tutorial world, the system itself treats him differently due to him not being fully human anymore, even if that does open much more possiblities, there are also huge risks attached to it, for he will be in problems when people find out what he became, and there is also the question of just where he has to head in on the path to power, either maintain his humanity, to try to be normal, to balance his sides, or even give in to his monster side.
Chris is quite a fun MC, i just like reading about him, it does help that he is a gamer and thus to a certain degree, already knows what to expect of the new world he is in and the system governing it all. He is not averse to actually tricking people, if he stands to gain for it, though its not sure if thats his instinct of a gamer, or something that came from his transformation. He may seem Overpowered, especially with all he recieved so far, but the challenges are also on par, and considering he is the MC of this story, of course he is allowed to be, within set limits.
There are signs that there will be quite the morality issues coming up eventually, mainly due to his changes, which are barely explored so far.
I hope he just stays like this, and does not become a maniac out for levels or something like that, i doubt the story will gain from having such a MC.
Not much has been shown so far of other characters, though considering that he lords over a domain now, it seems like it is bound to change, and that he will be interacting quite frequently with other people, and thus we could have some side-characters.
Setting is quite interesting even if not original, as it looks to be quite inspired by stories like Ghosthound, Defiance and the likes, this story so far does not look original, though thats not required. The system used here is the most interesting part of this story and its setting, there are some rather original elements used for the system.
Though im a bit worried, considering this story does seem to combine Xianxia with litRPG elements, while that makes for a popular combination, looking at other such stories, in most of them, it does not hold up well over time, with the quality generally going down over time, so far there are no signs of that happening yet however.
Grammar is barely a problem here, with there maybe being some minor typo's and other such errors, which should not pose a problem to the vast majority of readers.
This story reads rather well, it is just written in such a way, that it flows greatly, keeps a reader hooked in further reading the story until the end, the fast pacing which also fits perfectly and the frequent action also does quite help in that aspect. No problems so far with the way information is being delivered to the reader.
There is just one main POV in the story so far, that being the MC, with just a couple one chapter only POV's that arent appearing again, however considering it is early yet, and other characters arent introduced yet, this is surely bound to change, and it remains to be seen how it is going to be handled.
Keep in mind that the first chapters are of a different quality than the rest of the story, with the very first being the main problem, serving as an introduction to the story and the system, it does read rather differently, the second just starts with the MC being thrown in it all, though thats just normal for about any story of this kind, even if he does not get any kind of prologue as a introduction to his character.
Readers who like stories like Defiance of the Fall, Randidly Ghosthound and other such stories, will find it quite easy to like this one, as for now it can be considered to be a better written version of them that shows a lot of promise in what it could become, though granted, it is currently still early.
Thus give this story a try, it is currently just a such nice enjoyable read, even if that could be bound to change, due to how stories of this kind are like, for better or worse, so thus keep that in mind when deciding to start reading this story.
Lacks one thing, depth.
Felt like I was reading a James Patterson novel, the author just kind of skips from one event to the next. There is hardly any character development or reason why the mc is doing anything. Okay, I get he's used to playing deep dive VRMMOs but he just does things, treating everything like a game.
Oh, I've been experimented on? That's fine, let me just go and kill some mobs.
There is no thought process, its like watching a robot.
Lovely grammar though and had some great RPG elements, originality is worthless on this site, and I think that this author still managed to make this system into his own.
So, In conclusion, the story is fine, the grammar is great, but everything else just needs some serious work.
I sincerely wish the author good luck with this story, and I'm sure if you stick with it, you can turn it into something truly impressive.
Having the main character yoyo between not only emotional states but motivations and ethics depending on how influenced by mana cheapens any action he takes. That he turns back into a bleeding heart hero complex guy without suffering a complete mental break cheapens the mental influence angle too, especially considering how his inner monologue sharply clashes with the murdering of sentients he keeps doing afterwards.
Otherwise competently written, with a decent balance of showing and telling. The tone is a bit all over the place, but that plays into my first point regarding the mc.
Is it me or does this story feel that it's just jumps every where. The first few chapters were good but later on it just keeps on jumping around with location and story themes. It looks like a very rushed job. Please try to focus on each chapter rather than rushing.
This one is fun!
It is an interesting tale about the misadventures of a unique MC in a not quite as unique setting.
It reminds me of Defiance of the fall most of all, but isn't quite there in the character department, but seems to understand the tropes and themes of both Xianxia and LitRPG well enough to pull off a similar fusion of the two as Thefirstdefier has managed.
The style is fast paced and unobtrusive, it gets to the point and lingers little on minutiae. Maybe a bit to little. The fast paced style has lead to glossing over some things in order to detail them later and doing something's quickly that probably could have been handled better. Instead it chooses to retroactively explain theses missed moments with the plot elements.
The Story being told so far is good! But not incredibly original. It is following the MC as he adapts and learns about his new situation and tries his best to do what he thinks is right. As I said not incredibly original, but not so poorly done or derivative to be boring or bad.
Better than mine.
The place where the fast pace and derivative story kind of hit their wall. The Characters so far aren't particularly interesting. The main is the only one that has gotten any real attention and for the majority of the story so far he has been essentially drugged, making it difficult to make judgements on his actual character.
Overall it is a fun story, it is still in its early phase and definitely has the potential to get a lot better, especially if it takes its time to flesh out characters and capitalise on the elements of itself that make it unique.
I'm certainly gonna keep reading to see where it goes.
So general summary of the story
Earth is suddenly dragged into the system and the multiverse, neither of which seem to care about what happens to earth or the humans in the process. The story starts of well, through some horrible bad luck the main character quickly gets turned into something half human half monster. It's an interesting idea, seeing how such a person would deal with a system that likes pitting both sides against each other but this is where the problems start.
The story lacks consistency and cohesion, it's characters, plot and worldbuilding are a scrambled mess.
The main character can't seem to decide if he's a hero or a trolling murderous dick and while their is an attempt to explain how he and everyone else are being influenced by the systems mana (not his half monster nature which appears to have no affect on his mind) it just doesn't really work. It feels all over the place and I can't get a real grasp on what the character is actually capable of because his skill feels random depending on the circumstances, that and most of his enemies feel like morons.
The plot just kind of happens, things appear and the character does them. It doesn't flow well from one event to the next. There isn't any real goal or direction that the story is heading in and things just appear because they might be cool, not because they help the plot in some way.
The worldbuilding is also chaotic, it feels rushed ad doesn't really have any structure to it. There are parts like when he helps defend the town that work really well and the bits of the system involved are well established and used cleverly but for the rest of it i can't figure out what is going on because things don't make predictable sense.
Also the story can't seem to figure out how to handle the monsters and other non humans. The main character has no problem happily killing anything not human but this is mixed with a gnoll interlude that suggests that their intelligent beings who the system enslaved, stripped of their minds and forced them to be beastial. There is a rough attempt to blame his callousnes on the influence mana is having on the MC and the other characters but given how he supposedly solves this and shows no remorse it falls flat.
Overall it's got some good elements but they fail to come together cohesively, leaving us with something that falls to hold my attention.
This is a fun one so far. I've read up to chapter 34 and the author has done a really good job. The worldbuilding is quite good and (spoiler alert) there's even a bit of base building. It's basically just the right amount of crunch, too, with the blue screens and whatnot.
It's worth a read and I hope it's on trending soon, if it isn't already. It's an up and coming series for sure. Give it a read and you'll probably like it a lot.
The story just doesn't flow right at all.
The MC pops up in a lab where he reflects briefly about having just been inside a game with his gf in a 'vr?' pod next to him.
He quickly goes over some things he notices are similar to his gaming experience.
He notices the state of the room hes in and makes some quick conclusions about his intimidate situation and prepares accordingly.
> At this point its still fine, he's portrayed as someone quick to understand he's in danger and doesn't linger on useless thoughts till he find himself a time for such things.
His situation gives him no time for a break to sit and think, he is soon subjected to likely extreme pain.
Thankfully the mc gets teleported to the tutorial zone for a much needed break to figure things out.
> or not...
In a situation like this, people panic or become traumatized or at least have some (especially in this case) life altering thinking to do. No one would treat this like a game without questioning the very real feeling pain he went through during either the chimera-monster or the surgery. At the very least These assumed levels of pain would make someone think twice about experiencing it again, even if they think its highly advanced simulation. Yet theres nothing, no thoughts at all, no assumptions about it being reality or a game.
It felt odd reading him being transformed with crazy pain and then popping in the tutorial all fine and dandy, no lingering pain, no reflection on what happened or anything.
The tutorial zone is a town he's barred from entering right away, he sees other people, gets a few quests, checks his status changes.
Time to get some answers. about this weird happenstance.
> or not...
He runs off to attack monsters in a zone he knows nothing about, against monsters he knows nothing about, with no weapon and no sense of the geography and finds some rock trolls which he doesn't know their level, their specialty, nothing.
In the very first 1-2 chapters, we establish that hes quick to react and is able to prioritize. But now he just assumes things right off the bat without any facts/clues/knowledge, so that flies out the window.
He assumes hes strong enough to face whatever, assumes other races are also taking tutorial, just joins a monster horde side on no bases of knowledge.
He just goes straight into a elaborate comedy act with the first people he comes across. He still didn't outright say he thought it was a game. But he potentially sends another person to their death.
> so is he a smart, quick to act kinda guy?
> or is he a comedian dumb-ass with no thoughts?
it needs a major overhaul, to at least try to tie in to his current behavior and explain his current mindset of (i do what i want happy go lucky).
Scores are subject to change.
Currently the major flaw is his bahavior, i hope his behavior gets a decent explanation in further chapters, but right now its not good enough.
The sense of direction I get from this story is that the human species is probably fucked. And we get the story of a guy that has a head start and maybe it's snowballing out of control. Sometimes he's fighting for his life, sometimes he's just walking around. It doesn't quite feel purposeful- it just feels more of an exploration exercise (which kind of is at odds with the premise about the species being doomsdayed). A lot of the times he'll do stuff that is rather reckless. Then it's post-rationalized as energy inside him fucking with him. It's sort of consistent, and somewhat plausible. I mean, I wouldn't have really called it recklessness if the protagonist didn't call attention to it. Otherwise I would have just thought, boy this kid recognizes that his species is fucked, it's do nothing to only die a few weeks later, or risk dying now to have a chance later. It also feels like a somewhat poor excuse to get the main character into dire situations. Like, there's that F~S ranking thing going on, and by a week he's gone up by a sublevel. So at this point, is the story about how things are falling apart in front of him, and he just sort of can kinda scrape on by, or is it about being a paragon of humanity that's going beyond to pull everyone else up? It kind of seems like a middle ground where he saves stuff in front of him (which is consistent), and it's sort of bad because I don't really have a clear identity of the protagonist in my head if that's the case, we've only seen him fight a lot, and very few things outside of that. I mean, outside of that he roleplayed as an NPC which was pretty neat, but from it I'm getting the sense that he's a chill dude that goofs around a bit. He saved the dude he trolled, which is double neat. Which can be a good angle, but outside of this there aren't any moments that he goofs around so it's not a big thing, it looks like more of a one off thing. Uhh, what I'm getting at is the plot is a little too loosey goosey, a little too open ended. Anyway I'd be hyped for anything (ex human unsupremecy), and right now it's just curising along with some fights that have some tension.
Great fiction. Been bingeing it and its amazing! Very very funny right now, i cant gret enough of it. and the action is amazing too! grammar is great for RR only a few odd mistakes. Story is good right now, blend of randidly and defiance of the fall, but with better writing. Style is fun and easy to read. will go back to binging the last few chapters now! only downside is that the MC acts weird at time, but bonus points for humor, so its not to bad!