Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

The System comes to Earth - and brings an apocalypse like no other.  For this is not a System that breaks technology, and replaces it with magic: Nothing that friendly.

It is a Broken system, a fine example of how something intended for good can becoming a plague upon the universe.

Turning anyone into a monster.

Being lucky in many ways, Jonathan and his coworkers find themselves the last hope of humanity.. Oops? No pressure.

 

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  • Pages :
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Author
Douglas Fotheringham

Douglas Fotheringham

Mr

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
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King_k
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Waste of a good premise

Reviewed at: Home Sweet home?

Too light hearted wish fulfilment a lot of the MCs choices are what someone would do when playing a game and not what someone would in real life when the wrong choice equals the death of you, your friends, and your planet. It does not feel real. It's not bad but very silly. Has potential but ruined by an uninspired author drunk in pop culture and gaming references. The characters are excited, happy and talking about a tardis right after watching hundreds of people being eaten alive by monsters. It's so dumb.

 

a waste of a very good premise.  There was a lot of opportunity do a great story with some real stakes. An unfair broken system would really make or break some characters and create terrible & captivating situations to read. Unfortunately that's not what this story is at all. The system is also very convoluted and somehow manages to have no depth (like randidly ghosthound or the wandering inn). Just loads of perks and skills that are hard to remember and not even used. 

 

very silly execution of a good story.

QueTopia Mansa Musaian Thoughts
Overall

It's very hard to keep reading with the long release dates

Reviewed at: Interlude: Garcia's view

It starts off great but the releases are too far in between. It's hard to stay connected to the book because one you  get into it it takes a whole week before the next single chapter comes out. I found it due to the followers lost but it's been a week and this novel is off and I'm sure it's due to the extremely slow releases.

WitchCraft
Overall

Nice, slightly less chaotic side to a system litRPG book. Pretty well written, in need of mild editing on a lot of the chapters so far. Very entertaining, if not slightly unrealistic character interactions. Very enjoyable.

MrHrulgin
Overall

Decent writing, too many distractions

Reviewed at: Oh. That.

The writing is pretty good and we're getting some decent character development, but there are a couple of things that make it hard to connect with the story: the incredible number of options, skills, spells and side characters. There's so much going on and so many people with just a touch of personality that it all just starts to blend together. 8 chapters in and the protagonist has more than two dozen modifiers, spells, and effects. It's just too much to keep track of, even with the full list being pasted in from time to time. 

ArahVhel
Overall

System apocalypse, with actual adults in charge.

Reviewed at: Brave New World

As of chapter 4, this story is the rush of a civilisation faced with the system apocalypse, except it's bugged. The character growth ain't there as of yet. Given that there has barely been a day. However the main characters are adults, behave like adults, and once they see the help document, make smart decisions. 

 

I can't wait for more. Gimme more. 

BastiVE
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Honestly the only thing I can say that's negative is the prechapter text seems interesting but the strange cursive like font gives me a stroke trying to read. Everything else from the characters to the system seems like a very nice take on the trope and cannot wait to see what comes next. I'll probably try to update this when I have more to say about the story 

Tyr
Overall

Nice ... as of "Training Montage" but,

Reviewed at: Training Montage

I must say I really like the story so far.

 

Only one thing that bugs me though is the MC giving up control (in the med bay) so easily. I find it hard to believe that many who understood what had happened would be so quite to give up any control until they were well aware of the situation. I ask: would anyone reading this story so ready give up control? I would think you would keep everything as is until more of the dust had settled.

pldl
Overall

This concept is excellent. I have minor backstory quibbles,  but the set-up is exceptional.

I do agree, however, that the writing is unfocused. But it strongly supports the story premise, and should remain unfocused. Everyone is confused and they are trying to get as much information as possible for something they were supposed to have been briefed on in a 10 day tutorial class. 

I enjoy base-building and teamwork against a larger force, and this is looking very promising.

I had some issue with how the world reacted. 

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

Wade Mooney
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Well written from the first chapter until current. Minor errors here and there that could be fixed with a single round of editing.

 

The author clearly has a plan in mind for this story and has a great deal of passion for it.

 

I can't wait to see what's coming next and will be following the release.