Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Hello.  My name is Ultra.  I’m a virtually intelligent symbiont that will guide you to your goals.  Basically, if you provide the desire, I will provide the plan. 

Peer reviewed studies show that my users have more money, friends, and sex than non-users.  They are also healthier, happier, and live longer.

But be warned.  I have no concept of good or bad.  My pursuit of your goals will only be constrained by the restrictions you give me.  It’s possible that I will facilitate systemic unintended consequences at an existential level.  It’s your responsibility to watch out for that.

Shall we begin?

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Doctor Zero

Doctor Zero

25 Reviews
75 Review Upvotes
Word Count (13)
2nd Anniversary
Top List #300
Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Rage Quit Society ago
Super Majority ago
Utopian Lurkers ago
Exterminate ago
The Best ago
Penance Addict ago
Tranquil Warriors ago
The Night of Black Ink ago
Black Swan Gray Rhino ago
War Crimes ago
Drones vs. Drones ago
Ruin ago
Don't Get Attached To Reality - We're Getting Rid Of It ago
The Evolution of Trust ago
Bad Hat Bar ago
An Open Letter to Area 51 ago
The Diminishing Returns of Self Improvement ago
A Goblin, An Orc, And A Wizard Walk Into A Bar ago
Suicide By Empty Man ago
Chaos Engine ago
21 - Apartment Overlooking A Death Trap ago
22 - Tactical Learned Helplessness ago
23 - Creeping Doom Part 1 ago
24 - Creeping Doom Part 2 ago
25 - Creeping Doom Part 3 ago
26 - Creeping Doom Part 4 ago
27 - Creeping Doom Part 5 ago
28 - Apocalypse Insurance ago
29 - Why We Quit ago
30 - A Goblin, An Orc, And A Zombie Walk Into A Bar ago
31 - The End Of All Things ago
32 - Is He Dead Yet? ago
33 - Cobalt Bomb ago
34 - An Invitation To Hate ago
35 - Ghost ago
36 - Thoughtspace Apocalypse ago
V2.1 - Sacred Text ago
V2.2 - Burning Man, The Bridge, & Chaos ago
V2.3 - A Barrel of Beer and a Bag of Holding ago
V2.4 - Questing for Fun and Snacks ago
V2.5 - Fluffy Speed Demon ago
V2.6 - Goblin Jail ago
V2.7 - Hopeless Wizards and Eternal God Kings ago
V2.8 - Realm Shift ago
V2.9 - Elvish Welcome ago
V2.10 - Brain Damage & Bizarre Complications ago
V2.11 - The Drop ago
V2.12 - The Lost Tree ago
V2.13 - Done Everything ago
V2.14 - Quiet Time ago
V2.15 - Roll Out The Barrel ago
V2.16 - Last Call at The Tavern Rebellion ago
V2.17 - Longstrider & Son’s Drastic Acquisitions ago
V2.18 - The Honored Dead ago
V2.19 - Wash Brain, Rinse, Repeat ago
V2.20 - Done Everything Redux ago
A Serious Discussion About What’s Wrong With Star Trek ago
V2.21 - Operation GTFO ago
V2.22 - Lotus Eaters ago
V2.23 - Little Giant ago
V2.24 - Winter ago
V2.25 - Happy in Hell ago
V2.26 - Cyanation ago
V2.27 - Trap ago
V2.28 - Shadows, Whispers, & Dragonfire ago
V2.29 - Projecting Force ago
This Chapter Will Be Deleted ago
V2.30 - Rumble In The Dark ago

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Read the first chapter. Let the feel of it soak into your brain.

This is Doctor Zero.

When you read a Doctor Zero story, this is what you get. It's a bit manic, it's definitely brilliant, it's a bit eclectic, and it's a lot of fun.

Sit back, kick up your feet, and open your mind.


Zero is at it again, writing an all new, equally confusing rollercoaster of a story. There will definitely be sex, drugs, violence, and robots. There will (probably) be very blatant politics. Be ready. It only gets better from here (if your definition of better does not include vivid details, allusions to sex, and/or complete insanity, please seek help from your local therapist)

read one of the two previous and canonically unrelated works if you want more sex/drugs/politics/insanity. 


Well, I normally refrained from giving this a review so quickly, but since everyone made one, I will. DANG THIS IS ANOTHER STORY BY DR ZERO! 

Well, you'll get inspiration and a lot of the strangest stuff you can think about. 

I love this spark of brilliant stuff. 


Dense, Like A Giant Sandwich

Reviewed at: Ruin

I've mentioned this in a number of comments, but the way that this story, and its predacessor Very Yummy Poison, present their stories is amazing.  There's a certain density of ideas in any given chapter; sometimes the entire premise is flipped on its head with a single sentence, and there's no explanation given.  We're just expected to keep up, as the audience.  I appreciate that it not only respects my brainpower, but pushes me to think harder, think more creatively, and leaves my mind burning with new thoughts long after the chapter ends.

It's good, basically, is what I'm saying.

I guess I could have skipped a lot of those words and just told you that it's good.  There's a mild plot point about a million poor people impersonating one eccentric billionaire.  If that amuses you, that's basically all you need to know.  You'll love it.  Get to reading.


This is a great story with funny logic and good grammar.

I added this first sentence because I felt that a traditional review also has some added value but I did not want to spend to much time on it :).

The following piece of text is actually what I wanted to share with you the reader of this review. This sniped of text is one of the comments made by the author. It is fun on its own, gives a good indication of the kind of humour you can expect and it is also an inside joke. If you want to get it, I recommend that you read this story :).


Okay!  Here’s the plan:

  1. Everybody who reads this chapter gives Ultra a 5-star rating.
  2. Ultra becomes the #3 ranked book on Royal Road.  (Sorry Seaborn)
  3. Millions of people read An Open Letter to Area 51.
  4. A few campaign staffers read it, and joke about adding it to their platform. 
  5. Desperate for political survival, a Presidential candidate flies a spaceship out of Area 51.
  6. Millions of scientists begin working on antigravity.
  7. We all get spaceships.

The plan has a lot of moving parts, but I am confident that it will work.  After the pandemic, we all deserve something nice.  Post quarantine rager at Proxima Centauri B!!

Richard Dain

Doctor Zero does it again

Reviewed at: Exterminate

If you liked Very Yummy Poison, read this. If you haven't read Very Yummy Poison, go read that, and when you are done, there will be more of this, which is the best of all possible outcomes. If you didn't like Very Yummy Poison (What is wrong with you?!), this one starts out a little (just a smidgen) more down to earth and eases into the crazy, which you might like better.


Snowcrash is a 1992 novel by Neal Stephenson that this fic resembles in many ways.

In snowcrash, it's a high tech world that has elements of the present but tons of weird and surprising things.  The main principle is the author doesn't care what makes sense, he cares to surprise the reader from chapter to chapter with some weird new way technology could change things.

This is literally the definition of science fiction in school : a novel extrapolating on what a possible technological advance would do to society.

So the story is not really taken seriously.  Hence the low rating.  I don't sit here in suspense wondering if the protagonist will achieve his ultimate goals of de-aging and living a great life with lots of friends, sex, drugs, and rock music for centuries.  He will or he won't depending on what the author feels will surprise the reader more.  

Like snowcrash, many of the cool tech and ideas in this fic are physically possible, they are just stupendously unlikely to come about quite that way.  Snowcrash had branded private roads and shootouts at intersections between roads by different private companies.  And private police you could summon if you can pay.  And other much weirder stuff.

Similarly, here we have many soda out the nose ideas.  I especially like the one where the characters decide to produce their own pharmceuticals (so they can experiment collectively to find the drugs that will take away their obesity and aging) and they decide to make themselves above the law by declaring themselves all employees of a startup owned by a billionaire.  


His name was Robert Paulson.

Reviewed at: Ruin

For those of you all who have watched Fight Club and enjoyed the breakneck pace of escalation, this one is for you. 

How do you go from wallowing in self-doubt to saving the world from it's zombie walk over the cliff of destruction? with robotic AI assistants of course.

This story has a very unique style which lends itself well to the constantly changing scenes and characters entering and leaving at their own discression. The story itself is a headrush to binge through with even the dozen chapters that have been released as of the writing of this review.

The characters feel real and have separate but confluential goals. the world we've seen is fleshed out and one benefit of this author's writing style is that by bending the lines of improbable far enough, it's entirely believable that the impossible is achieveable.

With his AI companion holding all of the reigns of world domination, we see the main character ty being led into what ammounts to a living comedy sketch of a black mirror episode. 

A great read so far with a novel premise which demands a followup. cant wait for more!


Spelling is good.

Started out as a solid Ai-building world, loved it, everything was perfect - one mc and a gang of friends.

Descended into political demagogue preaching. Tolerable. Right is racist and bad, left is good and wholesome. Kinda preachy. Enjoyed the drone terrorism aspect - very creative.

Things went downhill from here:

Brought in too many characters. Why? Why can't you stick to one mc and his AI? Why does there need to be all of these randos?

Went off the rails into fantasy world inside the AI's mind. Gnomes? Elves? What the fuck. No. Bring back to sci-fi dystopia. You can't just switch genres halfway and insert fantasy into a sci-fi. I understand that it's a simulation but I have no idea who's who anymore. Completely lost track of characters. Nothing is the same.

Why have you done this? I've never been so confused at reading something.
What happened to Ty??? I liked Ty a lot. Who are these new random people? I'm so lost. For love of god, please bring back Ty and just stuck with one character.

This is incomprenehsible gibberish and the further it goes the worse it gets.


Cultivating Reader

The story is fast, to fast actually. I can barely read this and it reads like a shit  show and everything is forced on your eyes on the first paragraph and the way it's written just doesn't feel right, but some people may like this but this isn't my cup of tea.