Damien St. Cloud is a failure.
Born into a family of warlords and with the most powerful soul force in history, he's unable to make it work.
A disappointment to his legendary father and a weakling compared to his sister, Damien's life is miserable.
His life changes forever when a visiting sorcerer proclaims Damien isn't a warlord at all but a sorcerer. Thrust into a world of magic and danger, can Damien master his power in time to save his family and the kingdom from long forgotten evil?
- Overall Score
- Style Score
- Story Score
- Grammar Score
- Character Score
- Total Views :
- Average Views :
- Followers :
- Favorites :
- Ratings :
- Pages :
Leave a review
There is potential, but it is completely overshadowed by all the bad parts.
All women are otherworldly beauties. Theres a demon sword, that Damien's dad uses, that engages in, essentially, underage sex with our main character. All his female acquaintances, colleagues or teachers are either tomboys or large breasted women.
The world does not make sense. The warlords use soul force internally. Sorcerers use it externally. Sorcerers are rarer. Damien spends his entire life up to his 3rd year of warlord school trying to be a warlord. He fails, even tho everybody notices he has enormous soul force. Why would he fail? Is it because he is a sorcerer? Probably.
And here is where the world stops making sense. In a world with military tradition, where sorceres are respected and recognized, the author lobotomizes everybody so that he can get the moat basic of plot points going.
And that introduces us to the characters. They dont really exist. Oh, they have names and sometimes even descriptions. But they are not relatable. They behave weirdly, changing their personality depending on what the author needs them to be. Angry dumb as rocks father? Got it. Highly respected, knowledgable top warlord of the country next chapter? Got it.
This book has a peanut gallery. You know, the people that exclaim how amazing the MC is, all the time. Damien farts? Someone will point out that the fart was the most amazing, and his soul force is extremely strong, never before seen.
There's also tropes. The angsty teenager, the arrogant young masters and bullies.
All in all, a very full-service type of book, with a lot of self-insert. The prose is simple, and the world is shallow.
Such a shame I really liked the plot at the begining, then comes Connor and its like hes the real MC... Just not my cup of tea
I don't write a 'rude' review but the ratings on this story have baffled me. I'm dropping it after reading 14 chapters.
To start off, the writing style is *very* amateurish. I can't believe that the author has already written 25ish books already. I don't want to put more effort on the review than the author put in the entire novel so i'll keep it short.
Basically, the author uses short simple sentences, for writing. Usually, it can be good, but here it felt like I was reading something written by 3-4 grader.
There are way too many stereotypes and cliches in the first 4-5 chapters itself. I tried to read more, to see the allure of this novel but I couldn't read past chap14. One can ignore the cliches if they are used properly and help the plot but not this one. The plot is so bland and generic that reading ahead felt like torture. Could probably write a full report describing the flaws of this novel but I'll stop here.
A story devoid of emotions, real relationships and personal growth.
Its more of a outside description of what happened. Documented by a so-so interested party.
Grammar and text flow is quite good but the lack of delivery makes you search for those 4-5 liners that move the plot.
Oh and the author is also recycling his story by posting it piecemeal on RR trying to get people to pay stupid amounts of money for it on patreon.
Do not fall for it.
This is rough. This author has apparently written a lot, but this story is very much the work of a beginner writer. I would put money on a bet that no editor was hired for this story. If an editor was hired, that editor definitely was a scammer and did not do their job correctly. It's sad knowing this story is complete. It just means it's too late to fix anything. So you never get to see the writing get better as the author learns from reader feedback. What you get in the beginning is what you get in the end.
Characters are pretty flat. Plot is very basic. Character motives are simplified as if written for elementary school/primary school audiences. Lots of cringe moments where romance or any sort of genuine emotion is attempted. Also lots of plot holes that are completely ignored.
That all sounds bad, and it is. But there are some redeeming qualities.
The spelling and grammar is at a decent level.
The story is not confusing, to a point of being surreal, but if you are a very young reader or just don't want to use a lot of mental energy that can be a positive.
It's a feel-good story. You won't get anything deep, emotionally moving, complex, suspenseful, or sophisticated from this story. BUT it is extremely easy to read! This story is low hanging fruit. And that can be a big plus for some readers looking for very light reading material.
i like the idea of this story a lot. though i thought the whole duel thing was very heavy handed...
the issue with this story is, it's very bare bones. it needs fleshed out a lot. the plot points happen abruptly without details and makes the entire thing seem rushed.
he went from worrying about getting kicked out of the only home he's ever known, to 'oh I'm a sorcerer, k thx', to you need to leave the only home you've ever known within the hour. and he just... goes with it.
there is no real shock. he later describes that his father thinks sorcerers are weak, but there is no emotional turmoil when he found out he was one at all.
there are long sweeping time skips with no real time spent showing him adjusting or easing out of his rigidity... one minute he's being extremely formal to all his teachers, and then like 10 chapters later he's chewing out his superior because no one 'has the stones to train him because he's stronger than them'. how the heck did that happen?
in the 20-something person student body of his new school there was an arrogant guy who shared his enthusiasm for swordsmanship and the MC who was described at the start as well mannered, beat up his lackeys and humiliated him in a duel. because he was arrogant, i guess? then time skip and he says he had no sparing partner here? so, like, you alienate the one guy that shared your hobby, and instead of giving him pointers you practice alone in your room. and now, when his superior brings up the fact that he humiliated the commander's son in school, he said he saved his life by making him realize he's a shitty swordsman.
it just seems like such a silly waste of an opportunity. like, seg could have grown as a person and got over his arrogance. but really, the whole sequence was just a way for the MC to show off. tearing off his shirt.... was really stupid. there was no foreshadowing and it was just attention seaking.
there isn't really enough build up for anything to be dramatic and you can't care about characters because they are only briefly mentioned. their dialogues are basically a distillation of their characters and there is no real conversations / banter outside plot points.
add like... at least 50 to 75% more filler and details. describe rooms, make your MC stew in his thoughts for a bit. give characters time to process and react to revelations. if you're gonna time skip, recap what happened with more detail.
how does the MC spend his free time? if he just exercises, does eli try to get him to open up? what did he do to get the 23 gold that was his life's savings? how does he get money now? what is the value of 23 gold? is cooking done with magic, electricity, or wood burning? how are rooms lit? do they write with charcoal pens or ink quills? parchment or paper? how is mail delivered and how often?
what ages do people start sending students to academies and how do peasants find out if their kid has soul force talent? what % of the army are warlords? what % of those are noble vs common born?
it just needs filled out is all.
The first 8 chapters were weird, not bad but not as pulling as other stories I have read, probably because Damien is trained as a strict soldier and so we only see a cut out of a soldier and little of Damien. Changes when we get to chapter 10. Stoey looking Up. Such a good movie. I'm really hoping the author puts in some Fate UBW Gilgamesh in here, he already sort of has. My god if Damien was a reincarnated from Modern day earth with scientific knowledge Damien would be a God. A boy can only dream someone will make a story like that. I jsut wanna put it out there Damien could make a lightsaber. :sadface:
The story was very captivating. I read this story from beginning continuessing. I haven't read a story similar yet. The characters were really well thaught out. And the story well told. Amazingly well done.
This story has a good start. The second arc involving Jen was as boring as counting dots on ceiling. It gets bwtter when you dont read about Jen again. Overall a good story.