From: Kamal E Y < [email protected] >
To: Sabrina < [email protected] >
Sent: 18 February, 2000 09:11 PM
Subject: I don't hate
That was again a misunderstanding. I didn't hate anything on you, even when you cried. What I feel is helpless. When you cry over the phone I don't know what to do. This I have told you before also, right? I feel frustrated. I feel guilty. I feel like a criminal. How can I treat you like this? This is not the way I want to treat you. I want you to be always happy with me.
You are right, I didn't do my best to send this gift to you as early as possible. That is because I never thought that being 3 days late will make much difference. Of course, I could have sent it earlier. The gift I brought before the 14th. And today is the 18th. I know very well that it is too late. But as you said, I thought that being late is a minor problem. Now I know it is not.
I have known your character. I know that you always want everything to be done in time and order. That is how you behave in the office. I thought that you are like that only in your office. But nowadays I am getting to know that you are the same in my personal life too. I am not saying that it is a bad thing. But here we have different characters. For me, I do everything last minute. I was like that even when I was studying. I used to study only the night before exams. It is a bad character, but, please give me a little more time to change that. I promised you that I will never let you keep unknown about my plans. That I can do if I concentrate a little more. But to do all the things exactly at the same time and in order, I need a little more time. haha...see, I am asking for more time again!
Please don't say that you won't send me a mail for two or three days. Now, even though we have some problems, between us, we solve it by talking or writing. But if you don't send me a mail, I will never know what happened in your mind. I am learning you more, form each experience. So after some time, we will reach a point where I can understand your feeling without any words. For that this little sad encounters are needed.
Your chain, I have given it to the hotel for sending. You will receive it soon. You know why I kept this gift waiting? I can't give you a real one now. So I thought...
Whatever differences we have between us, I just want you to know that I love you with all your crying and laughing...