From: Kamal E Y < [email protected] >
To: Sabrina < [email protected] >
Sent: 3 February, 2000 01:43 PM
Subject: Re: misunderstanding!
I told you that I admit about forgetting the starting date of your TOEFL classes. You told me it was on Feb 20. Since that date was so far away, I didn't pay much attention to it, but my mind registered that in February sometime you will go for the classes. What was important for me was the plan, not the date. I have always been bad at dates. I remember a date only in keeping a reference to somethings which happened around that day. Do not confuse this with my care for you. I am not at all interested in the exact date of the classes. To me, what is important is the plan. Overlooking you are not in the picture.
I remember about the day you told me about your menses. I don't exactly remember why I forgot to write about it. I think it was because I was fresh back from there and we were talking about too many things, which required a lot of thinking. You know the letters I write to you is not written at one time. I start to write a letter in the morning after reading your mail. By the time I finish it, it will be evening. But earlier it was not like that. I had a lot of free time because I was a fresher in the company. But once I got the work, I was not able to spend so much time in one stretch. There will be meetings, discussions, so many things. So I have to write a letter in parts. Especially in Jan, Feb, and March.
So I forget by evening so many things to write which I wanted to write in the morning. Your menses also falls into this category, I think. Because we were discussing seriously my feeling after our meeting and you were asking a lot of questions about it. I do remember that exact sentence you wrote about your menses. The small clot which formed and your shock.
I don't know if you will agree with my view. Anyway, I will tell what I think. You say that I am a different person. And I could not find any difference. I think the problem is because you suspect that after having sex with you, I might have changed my mind. You once said that "after getting what you wanted"! At that time itself, I understood the root cause of all your questions. Actually you are not expecting any logical answer from me to your questions. What you want is to make sure that I have not lost my interest in you.
You may not agree with this. But wait. Before making any conclusion, sit for some time and think frankly, what is causing discomfort to you? At first, you may find one answer. Don't stop there. Think again about that answer. "What am I expecting from this answer? If this question is solved. Will everything be ok?" Think like this and go to deep. Get to the root of your problem. The root means, you will feel that you cannot go from there further. I don't know to be sure about the root causes, but I think what I said is right. You suspect that after sex, I have changed my mind. Another thing is that I told you that you were different from what I expected. So that also makes you think that I am trying to get away from you.
Think. I am giving all the license to you. And find out what is happening in your mind. If you find out that you can understand what is happening in my mind.
I am also in your opinion. There is nothing to talk through the phone. It will be a waste of time and money. We are not going to talk about any of these things frankly.
You don't know how to talk to me during the rest of your life? Nice!