Beyond The Primordials

Beyond The Primordials

by Wayward Scholar

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

When Yin Hui was born, the heavens trembled. Out of fear, the primordial gods crippled his clan and himself, stripping them of their ability to cultivate. 

Rendered powerless, his clan was driven to near extinction and Yin Hui was condemned to a life of slavery. After 15 years of torturous servitude, he encounters a stroke of fortune that would change his fate forever, bestowing upon him an alternate method of cultivating. 

With a new lease on life, he exacts vengeance against all who have wronged him, and strives to ascend beyond the primordials!

"To those who have wronged me beware! To those who will wrong me in the future beware! I, Yin Hui, swear to pay back any and all grudges in full!"

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Communication

Discord Server: https://discord.gg/7BaHbe2

Discord: Wayward Scholar#6193

Email: [email protected]

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Author
Wayward Scholar

Wayward Scholar

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Table of Contents
55 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1: Servitude ago
Chapter 2: Yin Clan Ancestral Burial Grounds ago
Chapter 3: Yin Tou ago
Chapter 4: Shaking Down A Swindler ago
Chapter 5: Obtaining A Fiend Body ago
Chapter 6: The Spark of a Flame That Will Ignite The Heavens ago
Chapter 7: A Lesson On Cultivation ago
Chapter 8: Yu Zhuwa ago
Chapter 9: The Messenger ago
Chapter 10: You Dare Disobey Me? ago
Chapter 11: Exposed ago
Chapter 12: What You Need Is A Dao! ago
Chapter 13: First Aspect of Spirit Waking ago
Chapter 14: Kneel ago
Chapter 15: Rapid Progress ago
Chapter 16: This Isn't Normal Spiritual Sense... ago
Chapter 17: Turning The Crowd ago
Chapter 18: Yu Mingxi's Power ago
Chapter 19: Tang Bian's Strategy ago
Chapter 20: Beast Suppression ago
Chapter 21: Loss And New Goal ago
Chapter 22: The Girl In Purple ago
Chapter 23: The Infuriating Su Jia ago
Chapter 24: Dao Oath ago
Chapter 25: Coiling Pass ago
Chapter 26: You Mess With Me, Then I Will Mess With You Tenfold! ago
Chapter 27: Loss ago
Chapter 28: The Egg ago
Chapter 29: Onyx Serpent ago
Chapter 30: Stubborn ago
Chapter 31: Regrouping ago
Chapter 32: Prelude ago
Chapter 33: Discovered ago
Chapter 34: Facing Spirit Manifestation Cultivators ago
Chapter 35: Feeding ago
Chapter 36: Escape ago
Chapter 37: Storming The Castle ago
Chapter 38: Confronting The Overseer ago
Chapter 39: Trapped ago
Chapter 40: Using One's Last Words As A Weapon ago
Chapter 41: Blood Sacrifice Sword ago
Chapter 42: Capturing The Outpost ago
Chapter 43: On All Fours ago
Chapter 44: Tang Zhilei ago
Chapter 45: Banishment ago
Chapter 46: Thundercloud City ago
Chapter 47: Destiny ago
Chapter 48: There Are Two Types Of People The Sect Does Not Need! ago
Chapter 49: The Genius With Eyes Brighter Than Stars ago
Chapter 50: Second Chance ago
Chapter 51: Unfair ago
Chapter 52: Not A Challenge At All ago
Chapter 53: Master Tranquil Wind ago
Chapter 54: I Strongly Urge You To Reconsider ago
Chapter 55: Four Winds, Four Songs ago

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Tana Nari
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All tell, no show, and nobody worth reading for.

Reviewed at: Chapter 53: Master Tranquil Wind

As appears to be the typical fair for 'cultivation' type stories, everyone except the MC (and those that idolize the MC) are arrogant douches. The MC is also an arrogant douche, but the story gives him a pass at it because he's the MC.

The writer doesn't even bother to show that behavior, he just says it outright. People "walk with arrogance" and "speak with fanaticism" or "threw a huge tantrum." To quote Futurama's Robot Devil:

"Your writing lacks subtlety! You can't just say what people are feeling! That makes me angry!"

Okay, most of it's not as bad as Fry's writing, but there's a wide gulf between 'not Fry' and 'good'.

Typos are also common, with more than one failure to get your/you're correct. Per chapter. Something his commentors have pointed out more than once, but he's chosen not to fix. In addition, I think pluralization in the writing uses apostrophe-s more often than it gets it right.

And, as part and parcel of this sort of story, the MC starts out really weak, then gets the super-OP-"it's super risky to use but it's really not because Plot Armor" treatment that always seems to crop up. At no point does it seem like the MC earns (or for that matter learns) a single thing. His only motives are 'eat souls, gain power, get revenge.'

Same deal with the MC's stupid, stupid, decision-making process. It's about the only thing which causes any plot to happen... MC does a dumb, then has to be saved from dumb by whatever deus-ex-machina toy gets dropped in his lap at the time.

Rinse. Repeat.

And the other characters? Either are complete jackasses who have no purpose but to be hated by the MC... or are complete suckups who exist only advance the MC, in spite of the fact that he clearly doesn't deserve anything but contempt and hatred from every decent being in the universe. The "love interest" character is both. Which still makes her more complex than all the other characters combined. 

This dude goes around stealing power by eating souls. Frankly, he'd make for a midboss (but not end- he's not nearly deep enough to be an interesting primary antagonist) for the heroes of a different story to destroy. Well, I suppose he's nice to children, so that's his one redeeming quality.

Everyone stopping to explain all their techniques and weaknesses every fight didn't improve things, either. Not sure where to put that complaint in this review, but "characters that are stupid" seems as good as any.

The sad thing is... the setting has potential. There's great room for social, political, and military conflict between characters that are interesting... the magic system is complex, dynamic, and interesting. With time taken to give it a, well, plot not driven by stupidity and deus ex machina, there could be a real gem here. But that's not how it turned out.

Thing is, everything I just covered is more or less standard for the genre, so there are no doubt people who will be eager to read everything I just described. For everyone else, I suggest you avoid it and go anywhere else.

Abdirah
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

An interesting twist on the xianxia genre!

Reviewed at: Chapter 8: Yu Zhuwa

Story: This is an amazing addition to the xianxia genre! It is not the boring stuff, where we have face smacking going on all day. Also props to the author for making his own cultivation system! It gets boring having the same old system with nothing added to it.

Style: it is good but nothing amazing which pops out.

Grammar: few mistakes here and there but other than that a smooth ride.

Character: I do not know how to feel on one had the MC who is friends with a person part of the clan which destroyed his. But I also do not want cliches like clan destroying.  

Winterwisp
Overall

This applies as far as chapter 8

The story begins in a very classical xianxia format, with an oppressed MC who's scraping the bottom of the social hierachy. Through luck and a bit of fate, he gets a chance to grow strong and we are introduced to the power structure of the world. Though much of it is standard, I was curious to find a slight twist to the powers available to the higher stages of cultivation that I had not seen before - good stuff!

As a foundation for a story, this is very solid and has good potential. While the explanation of the stages of cultivation can be a bit rough to get through, this is a general issue with the genre, so I can't really fault the author for that.

Spelling is excellent, syntax is in good order for the most parts, and it is generally a good technical read. A few missing commas doesn't ruin the story, but it could be improved greatly with an eye out for subordinate clauses.

All in all, since the MC has only just gotten his powers as of this writing, I am looking forward to see how he will progress, what choices he makes, and especially to see what happens with that cliffhanger at the end of chapter 8!