Eye of Adventure

by ziki

Original HIATUS Adventure Comedy Fantasy Romance Virtual Reality
There was once a man and that man had a dream and throughout his live he continued to work hard towards it. At first it seemed hopeless but after many years, when his hair already turned grey, he finally achieved it.

His dream was a creation of a different world, the world in which everything was possible and yet at the same time achieving anything meaningful would require incredible effort.

This world was given to others. Those that went there probably dreamed of slaying dragons and taking part in the great battles that would decide fates of kingdoms. They dreamed of becoming the greatest heroes or the most vicious villains. Still, soon enough those people realized that in this world even slaying a single boar could make them incredibly happy and that was because it was a reward of a true hard work.

While some people could do better than others, regardless of one's talents, there was always someone above who would laugh at them for their weakness. There was nothing that could prepare one before entering this world and those who decided to so, were changed forever, even if they didn't realizing it themselves.
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Author
ziki

ziki

The Storyteller

Achievements
5th Anniversary
Great Commenter (V)
Word Count (VIII)
Toplist #1000
Village Head (IV)
Old, but Gold
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1 “Arthur Rain” ago
Chapter 2 “Strange haired Arata” ago
Chapter 3 “Wizard’s clue” ago
Chapter 4 “Anari” ago
Chapter 5 “End of the month” _5.1 ago
Chapter 5 “End of the month” _5.2 ago
Chapter 6 “A new day” ago
Chapter 7 “Those who live and those who die” ago
Chapter 8 “Flowers, bunnies and a bear.” ago
Chapter 9 “He who commands the flame.” _9.1 ago
Chapter 9 “He who commands the flame.” _9.2 ago
Chapter 9 “He who commands the flame.” _9.3 ago
Chapter 9 “He who commands the flame.” _9.4 ago
Chapter 10 “Guild” ago
Chapter 11 “Keys to the past. Part one” _11.1 ago
Chapter 11 “Keys to the past. Part one” _11.2 ago
Chapter 12 “The girl with golden hair” ago
Chapter 13 “Keys to the past. Part two.” _13.1 ago
Chapter 13 “Keys to the past. Part two.” _13.2 ago
Chapter 14 “Refrain” _14.1 ago
Chapter 14 “Refrain” _14.2 ago
Chapter 14 “Refrain” _14.3 ago
Chapter 15 “Journey” _15.1 ago
Chapter 15 “Journey” _15.2 ago
Chapter 15 “Journey” _15.3 ago
Chapter 15 “Journey” _15.4 ago
Chapter 16 “Queen of Blades. Part one.” ago
Chapter 17 “Levi of the Silver Hand” _17.1 ago
Chapter 17 “Levi of the Silver Hand” _17.2 ago
Chapter 18 “Master of magic.” _18.1 ago
Chapter 18 “Master of magic.” _18.2 ago
Chapter 19 “Queen of Blades. Part two” _19.1 ago
Chapter 19 “Queen of Blades. Part two” _19.2 ago
Chapter 20 “A gift of Power” _20.1 ago
Chapter 20 “A gift of Power” _20.2 ago
Chapter 21 “Before the storm.” ago
Chapter 22 “Trial of adventurer _22.1 ago
Chapter 22 “Trial of adventurer _22.2 ago
Chapter 22 “Trial of adventurer _22.3 ago
Chapter 23 “Vicious ghost.” ago
Chapter 24 “Welcome to the Karma.” ago
Chapter 25 “Harsh Reality” ago
Chapter 26 “Little Red Riding Hood” ago
Chapter 27 “My name is Rin.” ago
Chapter 28 “Party” ago
Chapter 29 “Tomb of Edward Third the Great” ago
Chapter 30 “World's first in sight” ago
Chapter 31 “Location of the ancient relic” ago
Chapter 32 “Team without a leader? Part one.” ago
Chapter 33 “Team without a leader? Part two.” ago
Chapter 34 “Second round” ago
EOA CHARACTERS ART ago
Chapter 35 “Chase.” ago
Chapter 36 “Start of the expedition.” ago
Chapter 37 “Spider lair.” ago
Chapter 38 “Savage lands of the west.” ago
Chapter 39 “The forest of the lost souls.” ago
Chapter 40 “Peaceful time of relaxation near the lake.” ago
Chapter 41 “Tales of the past: Amanda Rinder. Simple day.” ago
Chapter 42 “She who commands the wind.” ago
Chapter 43 “Battle for the heaven’s gate.” ago
Chapter 44 “Hopeless dream.” ago
Chapter notice thread. ago
Reviews

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ujer
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Better at first arc, suddenly getting worse then

Overall good story, plot and world setting.

The first story i read that the MC is not OP but there are a lot of OP character in the game.

I AGREE with most review about the good thing in this story. Any flaw before they  meet the shin (shiro copy) is acceptable and forgiveable. Then the story went bad really fast.

 

First the introduction of the whole character in the new party. During voting, it is acceptable introduction. However during the journey to west, all those chapter is the most boring and worst chapter thing i ever read. At one point, i started to skimming through.

 

I know that the grammar is not your strongest point since English is not your first language like me. It is forgiven. However trying to read that wall of text telling the interaction of the whole new characters while trying to understand the sentences you are writing are tedious and tiring. There are so many new character to remember that it became a chaos. I started to lose interest to this whole new characters.

 

In my opinion, you should try to  develop the key characters of the party first during the journey. Then in each parts like during tournament and  in elf village, you can start to introduce other characters.

But the most unforgiven thing  is the butchering of MC especially its class.  Hell, i really like him. But his double class is truly useless.  To learn almost nothing new from 2 class until it reach level 100 is bad. Since your never show the impact of 2 high rank classes to stat, the only way to judge is by the provided skills which is so ordinary for so call rank 2 and rank 4 and too few. If the twilight swordsman class is the type to only get strong really really late, the sword enchanter should cover this up but no, its not. Arata classes in my judgement is bad if this all its provided up until level 100.

 

Not to mention his stupid action during the tournament. Me myself feel insulted If this how pro gamer like Arata acts in your head. The hint has been given again and again that Shin is great strategist and all great strategist is sly. Arata as pro gamer would not agree to Shin condition since he know the best way to win is cooperate with Levi. With levi ability to turn back time, Arata should first be able to investigate the Shin and Kei plan. Arata weapon also has ability to break enemy weapon so if he continuosly hit kei’s gauntlet, it should break. But this ability also has been forgotten.

 

it almost like you have abandon him as MC and now you just want Shin as your MC. You done it by showing how cool Shin is during tournament and in elf village. It almost like during SAO is famous, you want MC like kirito and when Log horizon fame started to rise, you want MC like Shin. I almost hate him for making you to forget about Arata.

 

You could actually write the side story for this FF which tell the story about Shin and his party. This way, it would not disturb the main story flow which concentrated on Arata.

Well, i hope the next arc will be better but for now, this story has fallen from five star during first arc  to three and half star during the second arc

 

 

Mike777ac
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I really like the story and the characters are pretty interesting as well.  The main problem is that it’s very difficult to actually read and understand. I used to have a pretty long and obnoxious review, but meh, considering English isn't even your first language, I won't be quite as harsh on the style and grammar. Plus, after reading everything so far, I definitely give your characters full marks too.  Some people said that it was getting boring or whatever, but personally, I really like where you're going with it. Keep up the good work lol
Ilesyt
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Story is interesting, Arata is a

As TriangleKayes08 has said before, the plotline is quite interesting, I really enjoyed it which is pretty much the whole reason I ket reading is until chapter 35/36 But I really can’t continue. Throughout the whole story Arata’s Character has been butchered into oblivion just to fit the story and has become just too forced. Here’s some of the reasons.
  1. Arata’s love for Kotori: It is FORCING it WAY too much, Kotori is a simple good looking groupie who acts like a groupie, and Arata found her attractive, says so accidently, they sit in a cave talking about it, they end going out,. The next day they are SUPER DUPER MADLY in love and NOTHING in the world can apparently break that love. Even characters who hardly know Arata’s character or seen any of his emotion or even ever seen Kotori except maybe in  glimpse start admitting that nothing can break their love… I get it that he likes her because she’s pretty and wants her as girlfriend but it has been FORCED way too much
  2. Next there is the issue of Arata and his so called Pro gamer past. Reading this story I can only say that either the author has never layed many games (if at all) or at least not seriously. Because the Arata doesn’t make smart or quick decision, rather most of them get him in trouble (running into the dark in pitch black when it’s really crucial and his party depends on him without thinkiing of a solution, The moment he went in there I just thought he’s retarded and I could’ve thought up ATLEAST 10 other solutions), he isn’t very knowledgeable either(He has to get explained things 2-3 times before he realises the potential or remembers them). Besides his martial arts skill which is helping him out, he has nothing going for him. He’s not even very smart in the tactics department, I didn’t know what Shin was capable of but even I knew the minute he started running into the forest that when Arata chased him he was gonna get trapped. And even when it was 2 vs 1 he could’ve easily bypassed the “switch” they did and completely obliterated them, hell when he had stabbed shin, he didn’t follow through and killed him off and kept watching and let them talk. This guy is seriously retarded.
  3. And then there’s the matter of his classes. This guy is supposed to have Classes of rank 2 and rank 4, and YET Rin with a class of rank 7 has more and better skills than what Arata has and just to make it clear, I’m NOT talkiing about the unlimited blade skill but about her class skills. His enchanter skills are al good and well, but for a skill that would normally cost all his mana, it gets blocked or dodged way too easily or sometimes doesn’t even do much damage, sure he upgraded it to only cost 20% per skill use but that’s not really because of his class but rather through the help finishing the lvl 100 test completely, which is all good and well. But outside of his own martial arts skill, his class skills are VERY weak, black dash is also all good and well but it’s so easily countered and he doesn’t have much else going for him since he didn’t get anything else except for some mediocre passives from which he didn’t he really didn’t gain much. The only thing he has going for him are his martial arts skills which apparently, the more he plays he starts sucking at, which apparently even some kid can copy them on his own with some self-training. Two-handed style ful sword style is not something someone can actually just copy on his own, It’s being way too under estimated, but I’m getting slightly off the point here. As I was saying Rin’s class feels more like Class 4-5 While Black Swordsman has a feel of let’s say 7-8 at best and Sword enchanter around 5-6. The only things that are saving him from not dropping lower is his awesome sword which is kind of OP for just breaking other weapons on just impact, but OOPS, the author seems to have forgotten about that very important detail later on weapons just stop breaking when they clash…
As has been mentioned in another review, the more the story progresses the weaker and DUMBER Arata seems to become, I just want to punch him in the face because even my cousin can play better than him even without the martial arts skills… I really like the plotline and the story and I don’t mind that Rin is actually stronger than Arata (despite having a lower class but has better martial arts skills and movement). But I just can’t agree to the fact that Casual players who hardly train but are very casual even if they’re decent can match up to Arata who is supposedly a pro gamer gamer, with super duper awesome classes, even 2 of them, and has Elite mindset which supposedly got him in one of the best guilds and was one of the best players. I mean if you are part of a guild that wants to be the best guild, then you have to become one of the best, and you don’t get that by taking it slow and wanting to slack and “enjoying the ride to lvl up”. There’s no time to waste, even if you’re on the road you will find a way to train, yourself.He trained for 5 years under a martial arts expert and so did Rin, and yet they were wasting their time on the road. If it were me, I would’ve just started swinging a sword or something, or tried to master that basic magic or something.But here he is just wasting his time. I’m sorry but it just makes me want to punch him in the face and I can’t accept him for being a pro gamer. So far all he is is a mediocre gamer, with mediocre mindset, 2 classes that result into 1 mediocre class, or slightly above mediocre at best and great martial arts skill. And his love life feels as if he’s jsut trying to deceive himself with the notion of love… Oh and 1 more thing, I don’t mind the amount of breaks they take to log off, but the time they take during breaks is just ridiculous. Especially if you consider how much time that results in the game. Not to mention he doesn’t sleep in the game but prefers to sleep outside his game. A real nolife gamer (as you try to paint him out to be) does NOT waste as much time as he does, and the more time he wastes he falls behind more and more. Atleast that’s how it should be. But apparently the game seems to just be waiting for him to level up to 300 and because super duper awesome and everything is fine.
Yoinkur
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A very original and amazing story

*SPOILER ALERT*   I've read the story up to it's current chapter and honestly I want to read it again. While the grammar and spelling can use a bit of work, the story more than makes up for it. It is a very original piece that combines virtual reality with a proper fantasy setting. Each chapter is pretty long which is really nice and the details in each are great to read. I was a little unsure at first about the character Arata, what with the dual swordsmanship, but that becomes a small point barely worth contesting. I like the fact that the main character is not too overpowered and has plenty room for growth, both in strength and personality. I have to say I'm not too fond of the pairing of Arata and Kotori. While it is the author's decision to decide who falls for who I think that the main characters relationship happened too early in this story. Having the protagonist in a relationship, especially one where he remains so loyal to his lover causes a barrier to any romantic twists in the story. I think the world is truly fascinating and unique and the difference between this and most other VR stories is quite well done. Especially sepertating Arata from the rest of his guild. It allowed him to break away fromwhat began to become his comfort zone and he is now free to grow on his own, as are the rest of the members of the guild. Very good work and I look forward to reading more! Remember, regardless of what anyone says the story is your own and you should just write what you feel like. That is how to make the story the most interesting. Thanks for the wonderful adventures and keep up the good work!
Skorgra
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So I just want to start with 3 stars may be considered low and I did enjoy reading it but after little to no progression in plenty of chapters, I don't think I'll pick it up again until he at least has done something.

 

I love the whole teleport to new area all by himself and even get annihilated by Rin when hes paralyzed. After this, everything is blown out of proportion as Arata makes noob mistakes one after the other and overall has no progression. Having seen Arcon and all his opness, there is no gamer who knows about basic magic who would not at least make an effort to learn it. I mean, even in his guildie days when he spent >5 days riding on a wagon doing nothing, any self-respecting gamer like Gerald would be teaching his "strongest in the world" guild how to use basic magic despite there being no opportunity to do anything else.

Also, Arata - Kotori, nothing really to say on that because its all been said. The reason most writers don't create that titanium bond between two characters is, once that bond has been set, you cant unglue it without going into some serious junk like NTR (girl betrays him for other guy) or anti-hero (girl just flat-out betrays him). Also, because of how blunt everyone is about how deep his love is with his girl, the readers are thrown out of the story because it just is not realistic in a 2-day relationship

Another thing about this story is the lack of real-world interactions. I understand not having him meeting everyone like Gerald but (this is just my opinion) if youre gonne write a VR story I feel like there should be some real world things happening at the same time. You started this with Anari but, after like 2 incidents, its like Arthur never leaves his house which I guess is possible. 

The thing that I find most bizarre about this story is the sheer lack of character development. Arata has not learned a new skill since the day he became he got his rank and considering that skill is a short range dash, there is no way in hell anyone would consider that a rank 2 class. If nothing else, he should at least have buffs in darkness or special skills he can use at twilight or in the worst case scenario he should at least be leveling his abilities and, combining this with his supremist attitude (I'm the best no matter that I have to run away from Yuki, Rin, and other players my level) and lack of intelligence, the only way I feel to progress the story naturally at this point is for something serious to happen in the real world that convinces him to stop screwing around and take things seriously.

Cylinder
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It's hard to like the characters.

The characters are all airheads.  It's wasn't intentionally made like that but the amount of coincidental "I knew you in real life and now we meet here in the game what a coincidence. Except the main characters don't even realize that even though they look exactly the same with only difference being hair color/style.  The starter MC even gives advice to his childhood friend irl only to have her repeat it back to him in game.  then he thinks "whoever this friend of hers is seems pretty smart. doh" That plus the plentiful spelling errors annoys me to no end.
Apfelkuchen
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Not a Shounen, more of a Seinen

DO NOT read it, if you can’t stand if the MC doesn’t always get the biggest gain out of his actions.

It’s not a run of the mill story with a goody two shoes as a MC, who becomes overpowered in a few weeks and saves the day of the whole world. The MC Arata isn’t a perfect character, he fails sometimes, he has some flaws, doesn’t always make the best decision. But if you give it some thoughts, you will understand and see the logic/motives behind it.

There are many different characters in the story, whose are pretty ‘normal’ so to say, but also are much more humanlike than the average MC in other stories. The author gives them ‘life’, makes them unique. All of them got their own character, while they aren’t “black or white”. And you won’t find a classical supervillain.

Another good point: You can reread the story again and again and find some clues you didn’t get before, like a good film. The reason is that the story is well-thought-out by the author, it won’t reach a dead end.

It is probably the longest story, which I did read on RR. Other stories often can’t make it that far, because their MC would have beaten every possible enemy at least twice. Eye of Adventure got a much slower pace, with lots of dialogues and character building.

I’m not a native english speaker, somehow I don’t have problems with the grammar, but sometimes you can’t see clearly who is saying which sentence, so it’s only 4 stars in this category. But it’s my favorite story out of the top 20, It really deserves my 5 stars in the other categories.

I did read those 1-2 stars ratings and I really don’t get most of them (some small spoilers included):

-try to understand that the MC isn’t an all-knowing being, just a human with more than one side to him and different motives.

-he doesn’t try to be the world’s best at some point, because he noticed that it isn’t that easy and it is neccesary to “relax” and get to know the world. Btw, he is doing the journey to the west mostly for being the world’s first in succeeding such a difficult quest, don’t you remember? Another reason for his lack of drive is that the people in his surroundings are changing, from a more dedicatet group to a more relaxed.

-at first he seems to be very strong because of his martial arts background. But this advantage vanishes more and more when he isn’t surrounded by newbies anymore but by people, who got much more ingame time than him.

-yes he should care about his stats, basic magic, etc. But it is his stubborn character, which makes him think that he knows it better and could do without.

-the stuff with his girlfriend: I would say, that it is a pretty big “love boost”, If you find out, that the same shit, which happened to you, also happened to her. The first person he could open up to, try to be considerate.

avedust
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Since reading LMS, I've read a lot of fan fiction from this site, other sites, and other books pertaining to virtual reality. One thing you learn quickly is that grammar isn't an indication of how good a story is or will be. Rather, you begin to judge the story around how well the author has molded the tropes you know and love.   EoA is a top notch VR world. The rules and lore are wide but iron clad and very unique. While the characters are good and in some instances great, it’s the story as a whole that is amazing. Each event feels like it compounds on the last and it makes the lore and characters feel organic, which can be addicting at times.   Style (3.5/5): I personally think that “style” means how the entire story is portrayed to the reader. The presentation. It’s partially how the characters interact, partially how the world is portrayed, and as such I also think it’s fundamentally linked to the grammar. And unfortunately the grammar is something that a lot of people won’t be able to get past.   Story (5/5): The story itself is stellar. There are only a handful of stories in this genre that feel truly different, and EoA is one of them.   Grammar (2.5/5): Grammar is something that can pull you further into a story or drag you right out of it at a crucial moment. When reading EoA you’ll have to forgo the grammar Nazi inside of you and enter a zen state, which truthfully isn't that difficult. If you can get several chapters into the story you may find yourself hooked even if bad grammar usually deters you.   Character (4/5): As I said above, most of the characters range from good to great, but I wouldn't say any of them are amazing. But don’t misunderstand this, there are some moments when certain characters DO amazing things. And it’s awesome. The dialogues between characters are LONG and a LARGE part of this story. Be warned.   Overall (5/5): Truthfully, this is my favorite fan fiction on this site. If you account for the the sub-ratings it’s obvious that the overall score shouldn't be what I've rated it at. But the fictions on this site are plagued by five-star ratings, even when most of the stories don’t deserve it. And if anything, I believe EoA should be in the top five.
FalseLuck
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This section is addressed to readers.

 

**Note- At least read the first 20 chapters. The first arc is amazing. I’m reading the second one and every time the author switches perspectives to tell the same story again I consider dropping it. It’s to the point where I will skip 2 or 3 paragraphs when the author starts to describe anything because I’ve already been told about it earlier.**

 

The story starts out great, for the first 20 or so chapters I was hooked. Great character development, not the best grammar (at this point probably 4 stars), and the style was good too. I think this FF made me literally laugh out loud more than any other FF on this site. The only problem I have with the first 20 chapters is how retarded Anari is and that Arthur/Arata can’t seem to realize they are the same person; the odds of two people being that dumb (speech patterns and such) and asking the same questions in real life and the game are just too astronomical. At this point in the story it seems like there are a lot of possibilities for the world to develop and I was looking forward to something incredible after the 100 cap quest. Everyone keeps saying stuff like “you don’t understand this world, even if I told you it wouldn’t be understood until you see it for yourself” so at this point I’m pretty hyped up.

 

This section is addressed to the author.

 Edit* Because I’m too lazy to add it to the spoiler section as it is a pain; for the glossary and character art reference section I was talking about, you could release it seperately and make it in the fashion of a “game guide” for EOA. You know how when you get a game for playstation or xbox they have the booklets with important info in them right? Sort of like that, or a walkthrough. If done like a walkthrough you can put things in the order they are introduced to prevent spoilers and such.

Suggestions to the author.

 

Spoiler broke :/

 

Spoiler InsideSelect<>Show</>
  
 
Shane
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Great concept, but horrible presentation as the store limps on

Honestly the idea for this story is great i can ignore the horrible horrible grammar. But what i cant take is your main charter with his force love and the information dumps where you give us a lot of minor details so that we can get a picture of whats happening and i dont know about other people but i really don't need that much extra info to get a picture of what your trying to say it just gets very annoying and tedious so i have to skim. Also did'nt really like the main character after he got together with the Kotori girl because after that you just start to butcher my original option of him. Also when you have so much annoyin, vapid and sometimes idiotic people having long loonng conversations that lead to no where i just have to sigh and wonder to my self why did i just read all of that annoying/boring crap if it has any real relevance other than being fillers to make the story longer?