Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Sci-fi Cyberpunk Dungeon GameLit High Fantasy LitRPG Non-Human lead Portal Fantasy / Isekai Reincarnation War and Military

Humanity has discovered the jump drive and is beginning to explore the stars. Captain Slater of the USS Franklin is assigned to protect a research expedition as it travels the unknown regions of space, searching for habitable planets and exploitable resources.

The expedition makes an important discovery...they discover that we’re not alone in the universe and our neighbors are hostile. The expedition is destroyed and Slater wakes from the destruction to find that he has changed. He is something new, he is no longer human, he is a Dungeon Core, he is a Derelict. Slater must learn to fit into his new existence quickly as other forces seek his destruction for the second and final time.

 

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drh68w

drh68w

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Zethuron
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Better than a grounded dungeon, a spacefaring dungeon!

Was simply looking through new releases, and came upon this story, expecting just a standard dungeon core story, even if the synopis looked a bit odd. Now i can say i have been pleasantly surprised by how this story turned out to be, even as short as it currently is (at time of review), i will certainly be following this story, and maybe even loving it.

Humanity has gone beyond the bounds of the solar system, and is now exploring distant stars, for habitable planets and signs of life. On one of those expeditions is Captain Slater of the USS Franklin, the expedition goes will, until eventually a first contact happens and ends up in combat between the two forces, with all human ships expect for the Franklin being destroyed, as a last resort, Slater overloads the reactor of the Franklin and is killed in the following explosion, only to wake up changed, with a unknown voice greeting him, then he discovers that he is now essentially a dungeon core and that the universe is far more than he thought. Now he has to adapt to his new nature, or to die once again, for the final time.

Slater is a good character, and well written overall. He is also competent at what he does, and that is shown pretty fast. While Slater may be thrown in a new, unknown situation, he adapts quite fast to it, while also not being naive at all.  I just wonder how the dungeon will treat sapients, especially if he meets humans, atleast the MC being from the navy helps a bit with this, but it still remains to be truly shown.

The first couple chapters may seem a bit weird at first, especially the rather long first chapter which also contains a lot of information about the setting in general, at least as percieved by the MC at that time. Those chapters may seem a bit redunant to some, but actually do matter as setup for the story and later on, as events in those chapters are brought up again, and the story only gets better after those first chapters.

Well, i have been simply blown away by the unique setting, it is simply so great, and totally different from the vast majority of dungeon core stories i have read so far on royalroad. At first i had expected it to be a standard reincarnation into fantasy world after the MC was killed, but this is so much more, and it honestly makes this story great and show a TON of promise. The author does use the usual dungeon core tropes, but adapted to a sci-fi setting while also keeping fantasy elements, i especially liked the way the author handled how dungeons, or rather Derelicts are shown, with a explaination for how Derelicts come into existence, this story features a twist on the normal dungeon guide (sometimes shown as pixies), and handles that in a great way.

This story is even trying to go in a rather unique direction for a dungeon story, with the past allegiance of the MC actually mattering instead of being straight out invalidated just because he got reincaranted and is with new instincts.

Near flawless grammar in this story, with maybe one or two mistakes to be found in a chapter which usually get corrected when pointed out, and those do not hinder reading, the editing in this story is very well done, i have no complaints at all in this aspect.

Excellent writing style, the author has a good grasp on his prose, it is simply enjoyable to read. Great pacing also that switches speed when required for the plot. Good descriptions also, and information is delivered in a nice way that doenst hinder the overall plot at all. Maybe some minor problems with repeated information, but that doenst matter even.

I was quite surprised by the overall quality of this story, though that was to be expected after finding out that the author has wrote Limitless Lands (on Amazon), this is only a sideproject of the author, with updates atleast once a week.

Considering this story is still fresh, much of this story is subject to change, most likely for the better as more of the story is released, i have quite the high hopes for it.

 

I really do recommend to not judge this story by its first chapters, they are just the setup for the actual story, just keep reading until like 10 chapters in, this story does show its true strengths around then and becomes quite unique for a dungeon story since most of the generic dungeon tropes used in the start are discarded by then.

Come read it, its by a skilled author known for creating quality stories, it is also a fresh kind of dungeon story, one of a kind that most likely has not been done yet on royalroad, i can simply recommend this to all fans of dungeon core stories, even those who still have to read their first one.

Jukonon
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First of all, I am sorry. I don't want to be mean, I like to write myself, but haven't got enough balls just yet to show my story to someone else. If somebody would leave a 2-star review on my fic I would be so sad. Still, here we go.

 

Let's start off with me. I love dungeon core stories. Well, no, I love the CONCEPT of dungeon core stories. Sadly most dungeon core stories suck. It's just a hard genre to be honest. Your POV is static, you have to find a system that makes sense, you have to build a world around it, you need companions, character growth and so on. That's a lot.

I found the story set up to be rather lackluster. It just seemed so contrived to be honest. Energy parasite enters the reactor and through magic, a derelict arises. Ehhhhhh. That's just so contrived. Why not make the MC the ship's AI which survives the destruction of the ship with a ruined ship and a few drones? The whole derelict thing seems like such a big setup. Magically appearing space dungeons, various fantasy races plunder regularly. Too much suspension of disbelief for me.

 

The characters seem cartoonish and overdrawn. The military guys don't seem like military to me, they seem like people playing at being military, badly. The dialogue is wooden, they don't really care about their comrades being killed before their eyes. Just weird.

 

The whole story is just riddled with what I would consider to be mistakes and even oversights. What's the logical explanation for the derelicts hull being near-impenetrable? Why does he construct his derelict after a spaceship theme and not for optimal efficiency? How does he have the whole solar systems scan, when the dwarves said they would have to scan for months? How is he able to produce a data chip that the dwarves can read? How are so many people finding the derelict when it's in a deadbeat system? How does the "leeching off salvage of other ships undetected" work? He gets enough salvage out of this leeching to construct many things. That's a lot of missing mass. Somebody sooner or later would notice. How is actually anything in this world supposed to work? Little things like: Why does every ship fit onto his entry hatch? There is artificial gravity: How does that work with another ship docked? Does it change their gravity? Why the weird Council? It doesn't seem logical to me. What's up with the technology actually sucking?

 

Sorry, but no. I have been searching for a long time for a good sci-fi dungeon core story, but this isn't it.

Aspartame
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I enjoyed everything, until it stopped being a dungeon core book. It slowly devolves into a subpar hfy space opera. Far too concerned with forcing the plot forward.

Seth Jakill
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Ok this may be harsh but it broke one of my rules.

 

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

WritersBlight
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The story is a refreshing take on the common dungeon story, with interesting mechanics and concepts that open up limitless potential for creative direction.

The story kept me in its claws till I finished the last chapter, and still had me hungering for more.

I just really hope the author doesn’t fall into the same trap I’ve seen almost every other dungeon story fall in:  DONT LOSE SIGHT OF YOUR MAIN CHARACTER.

Remember to show his personality, his quirks, what makes him unique and fun to watch. Very quickly these characters turn into mindless robots that react predictably to every scenario, follow the same thought cycles, and the entire story becomes a straight line of power ups. 

 

Anyway, loving it! Keep up the amazing work!

KoboldPatrol
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Dungeon Core story twist-ed into space - grrrrreat! (with small flaws)

(as of chapter 21)

It is true that 'Derelict' is just another Dungeon Core fantasy story? - In principle, yes, but it is not a normal dungeon because it is in space and the antagonists are in space and it's sci-fi in addition to fantasy and even the fantasy is in space. - So what's it about? - The space exploration expedition Captain Slater's ship is protecting discovers "aliens" and is promptly destroyed by them, then Slater regains consciousness as a Dungeon Core in his ship's wreck. Like in other Dungeon Core stories, he has to expand his dungeon, assimilate or research new mobs, defend against adventurers (who arrive by space ship and are of the various fantasy races) and perhaps even reestablish contact with his former navy. - But I already read 99 dungeon core stories, should I really also read this one? - Yes, 100% yes, but don't be deterred by the first few chapters!

Style/Grammar: The story is told in third-person internal style view from Slater's POV with very good prose. The descriptions are in general good, sometimes they are just detailed enough to get the information across and sometimes quite detailed but not too much so. Now and again some small humorous scenes happen. Spelling is good and grammar as well.

Story: So far there have been the usual dungeon core story events with no big surprises other than it taking place in space and the changes this entails, but exactly that is done excellently. Pacing of the events is good, after the first chapters which are important to set the scene. The MC's rate of progress is rather fast though which feels to me like everything is too easy for him, even though he had problems fighting some of the enemies. The ability to create, then re-absorb and re-create (with the new upgrades or just in the same way) monsters and items or rebuild the rooms as often as wanted without losing any energy or matter in the process is breaking my suspension of disbelief.

Characters: The MC, Slater, is a military man, a no-nonsense guy with quick (and good) decision-making skills and a straight way of thinking and he's still a friendly guy. He could use a bit more depth and/or complexity in his personality, by now he's a bit too great for my liking. The other characters have not been around long, so far they fall a bit on the one-dimensional side but they add some humorous scenes. I like how the dungeon pixi(e) turned out by chapter 14.

All in all, this is a very enjoyable story. While it is not creating anything truly new for the genre, the way it is written is fine and the unusual variation of the location (with all the consequences) is very refreshing.

DrMonotone
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Little sketch, but definitely worth the read!

Nice, if you love dungeons and sci fi you'll definitely enjoy this forbidden love child. Not to say that its bad, rather the opposite in that its absolutely fantastic! As of this moment - being fully caught up - the story has been fluid and developed in unique ways that I had yet to encounter while browsing the thousands of stories available.

All im saying is you need to stop fucking reading this waste of a text file and start reading the god damn novel you indescisive whore. :3 Luv ya!

McVerisimilitude
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Newbie review more of a thank you.

Dean,

Thank you for a wonderful story. This is a very good Syfy/space twist on a dungeon core. I read through the first 15 chapters in a couple of hours and was hooked. 

😊

UsernameJ
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Very juvenile and mediocre

I don't think this is bad, it's just... sometimes a story beggars too much "suspension of disbelief" and becomes simple unbelievable. I stopped on chapter 10 when he wanted to make a data chip to give to the "dwarves."

 

This doesn't make any sense. What kind of data format is it going to be in? What data will it include? What are they going to think about a Derelict that randomly has information beyond what its scanners are capable of generating?

 

I thought that the whole "dungeon core in space" was pretty neat, but this story just doesn't cut the mustard for me. The writing comes across as an enthusiastic 15 year old writing about literally whatever comes to mind with no effort put into making the story cohesive or organic. Not good, not bad, just story. I'll pass on this one.

todd
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A novel take on a dungeon core with some hand-wavey elements

First off, I've had a blast reading this story so far (Chapter 30). I had some concerns at first with the tongue-in-cheek setup of a classic fantasy universe that has space ships but found the concerns that I had with the story going off-track resolved shortly afterward. Some suspension of disbelief is required as things get rolling, but once it moves past the setup, it transforms into a highly competent space fantasy adventure, with the potential to be one of the best sci-fi dungeon core stories I've found as of yet (Bunker Core being above both Skyler Grant's and Jonathan Brooks' series).

 

For those starting out, it's worth noting that while much of the mechanics of the novel are rooted in science fiction, this is not carefully tuned hard sci-fi from the ground up. There will be aspects of the world-building that are briefly touched on before stepping forward that amount to a quick hand-wave with a "back to the scheduled program" sort of feel. My sense of it wasn't that the author was being lazy by not grinding down every last bit of story dressing into clean science, but that they were just focusing on the portions that are relevant to the story. Hard science fiction that goes to painstaking lengths to use accurate or feasible technology is great, and if that's what you're looking for here, you will be at turns, pleased and disappointed. The author steps back and forth between soft and hard science in a manner that neatly balances the desire for reasonable interactions with the world, with the need to avoid bogging down the story with unnecessarily convoluted explanations.

 

Outside of the story, the writing is mechanically well-done, with few errors or awkward grammar elements. The protagonist's personality remains consistent throughout the story, and while little time is spent on developing the supporting characters, they act like real people and not 2-D cutouts that pop up whenever dialogue is needed. All things considered, I recommend this as a worthwhile read and look forward to reading more as the author continues to write.