Heather the Necromancer
Heather was a normal girl living in an abnormal world. When the visitors came, they struggled to understand humans and their ways. It was through video games they began to learn, and then they came up with a plan. They created a virtual world of magic and dragons where people could translate and become parts of the game. Through this world, they watched and learned, growing in their understanding of us.
She knew little about it, only what came across the occasional tweet or blog post. She knew that people went into the world known as New Eden because they volunteered. She also knew that rarely other people were forcefully drawn in; these were referred to as the chosen.
Heather didn’t pay much attention to it all. For most of the world, things went on like they always had. She had classes to attend and boys to tease, and her cell phone was her world. That was until she woke in a forest clearing and realized she had been chosen.
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First of all: The writing is great, the concept of the story is easy to like, and totally logical. And then there is Heather...
Heather is supposedly 22, which is in every country I know of, is considered an adult. Her age would implicate a minimal level of social skills, and self-reliance that could be ignored for some time due to the stress/trauma caused by being choosen. But not for this long.
It can not validate her behaviour towards her new friends. Which is "you are not doing it right", "I know better who to trust", "do this for me", "you should have told me what to do".
And there is the case of ignoring that she is in a world governed by different rules. Even after she was attacked on 2 (3) different occasion, she keeps toying around with her class selecton, showcasing the mental capabilities an attention span of an 8 year old.
Reading about MCs like her make me wonder if people could really be this airheaded in real life.
I binge read the first volume, and while I'll definitely be coming back for more, I think there are a few things that could use some work. We're not even 30 chapters in, so the author still has plenty of time to focus on what's needed.
The first problem encountered in isekai
I really like this part.
Too often in isekai stories, "how they got there" is either some big background mystery that has little or nothing to nothing to do with the main plot, or the protagonist simply forgets about it in the first few chapters and picks up with their new life like nothing happened.
Heather doesn't exactly know why she's in this world, but she knows exactly what it is and how she got there.
It was aliens. And I love that that's not even spoilers because it's right there in the synopsis and prologue.
This is rarely handled well, but I think the author aced it.
Is it weird? Yes. Is it better than dying and God giving the MC a full chapter of exposition? Also yes. Is it better than, "Hurr durr computer error. Yer trapped in a game now" bullshit? Oh God, yes.
I love it, not because it's unique, but because it makes sense for the setting.
This is something else I think the author has handled very well so far.
The worldbuilding has been kind of sparse, but for logical reasons. The first volume only covers a week or two of time, so having the entire world explained to us that fast would just bog us down in boring walls of expositional text.
The setting however, has been getting lots of love. We've seen how the world works, and how it's also a bit buggy. We certainly don't have all the details yet, but we have more than enough for Heather's graveyard adventure to make sense.
Characters and development
This is where I think it needs the most work.
She's fun and doesn't seem like a Mary Sue, but she's a bit one dimensional and is clearly an audience stand-in character. We know that she doesn't play video games or read anything fantasy. Aside from some very surface level details, that's basically it. It gets hammered home so often, I'd be surprised if she even new who the main character of Harry Potter was. Even my 60 year old mother knows more about video games than Heather does.
It wasn't until near the end of volume one when someone said, "She's good for the world because she doesn't play video games," that I realized who Heather really is.
She's a rubber duck.
She is the rubber duck in "rubber duck debugging." Her job is to sit there and get talked to, and then make it obvious what the problem is when she doesn't understand their logic.
Her OP power isn't necromancy, it's her obliviousness!
Frank is awesome. I like Frank because he's a mostly normal guy who doesn't think "I'm normal" is a decent self introduction.
Frank has passion. Frank has goals. Frank knows that they may put him on the low end of the social spectrum, but caring about other people's opinions of him is low on his list of priorities. He's a nice guy who wants to play the role of a villain, and he's not about to let the genuine assholes ruin his fun.
I think we all need a Frank in our lives, just to remind us of what's actually important.
Graveyards. Spooky graveyards. Also zombies.
And maybe something or other about working hard to make your dreams a reality or whatever.
"Social contract? Ha ha! What's that? Git good, scrub!"
It's like Log Horizon got combined with The Purge.
My theory is that most of them didn't "volunteer" to come to this world. They simply had nowhere else to go when their families kicked them out for being such insufferable asshats.
These people are just awful, and it really makes me wonder what video games the author has been playing, because someone has certainly done a good job at killing his faith in humanity.
The scenes are detailed, and the conversations sound natural and realistic. Sometimes heather will pay attention to insignificant things when there's something much more important going on, but no major complaints here.
It's solid enough so far. There's enough foreshadowing to hint at bigger stuff coming up, but it still leaves room for plenty of fun while we get there.
My only complaint is the plot hole near the end of volume one.
It doesn't annoy me because it's big (it's not), it annoys me because of how easy it would have been to prevent.
Why didn't they just kill Heather?
It's not like she'd actually die.
She could have respawned and gotten her tablet back without any risk of leveling up.
The entire climax ends up feeling contrived because nobody even considers this possibility.
All it would have taken to fix was for Frank to even suggest the idea.
Obviously Heather would have refused, and the rest of the plot would progress in the same way, but still.
He doesn't even mention the possibility.
It is the fastest and most effective way to both stop Moon's plan, and also ensure that Heather doesn't immediately get added to the king's shit list.
But no. Heather doesn't think of it, Frank doesn't suggest it, and Moon doesn't even take the possibility into consideration.
I don't mind that the plot went the way it did. As I said, it probably would have gone the same way regardless. It's the reason it went that way that annoys me.
Heather The Necoromancer is an interesting read and is strong in areas, but weak in others.
1. The style of writing was well done in many areas describing thoughts, scenes, and a nice mix of conversation. This brought the feeling that something was always going on whether it was planning or scheming. Many stories I've read, unfortunatly, either read like a play with all conversation and little scene, thought, and detail, or it the complete opposite with little conversation and I feel like I'm reading a giant block of text. Thankfully this story didn't have that problem
2. The story is very interesting. The whole idea of the "Chosen" and the aliens studying us by creating a fantasy world which we can play in so they can learn how to interact with us, due to the lack of communication methods. Excellent. Initially this is what drew me into this story full of curiosities and excitement.
3. Grammer was also well done with only a few instances where I needed to re-read a sentence to understand what was trying to be conveyed. There were also only a few words that were misspelled, but typically didn't hinder the flow of the sentece or the message conveyed.
Now for the dislikes.
4. Characters... As I started reading and met some of the characters I enjoyed the story. Not every Lit RPG has to revolve around or even involve murder hobos spying beasts or other players based on persona. There are plenty of stories where it is more like watching a dramatic comedy with the day to day events taking place building the story and characters.
However, my excitement was gradually ground down to the point I was actually mad at reading this, but I continued in the hope of it getting better.
Now of all characters my favorite was actually Frank. Now I agree that playing a character doesn't mean you have to play the stereotype for said character. I agree with Heather on this to an extent. I absolutely loved Frank's passion for how he wanted to play. He built his race around the classes he wanted and was willing to accept the isolation from standard players for his appearance to fulfill his role in this new wworld. Beautiful.
The main disdain I have for this story is the MC of Heather. I can forgive her for her clumsiness and lack of knowledge to a fantasy world where she barely knew anything about games. Actually I thought this was one of her better qualities the author portrayed this really well where she doesn't ask basic questions and make fault because of this. The thing I really hated was her attitude towards he circumstance and the acceptance of the position she is in.
I understand your teleported to a world you know nothing about and what's the first thing you do? Throw a tantrum and sit on a rock for hours shouting for them to let you out. Why? What did you accomplish. Her basic survival instincts and curiosities are near non existant. She could have been anything after Frank described what she was and could do with her panel. However, yet again she didn't ask basic questions and refused to learn more about her new world. If she truly wanted out she would have thrown the panel at Frank and told him to let her out. Instead she plays dressup and has her panel stolen.
Overall I loved the world building, the story, the mechanics of the world and the interactions with other characters/player. I also liked how the author consulted the audience on minor details. Nice touch.
Now I did binge read to the existing chapter of "2-19 The Sherrif" and these where my thoughts to this story. I may comeback to this story after a few months to re-read and catch up, but I'm not sure I want to. Also this is my first review of a web novel. So take it with a grain of salt. I know everyone has different opinions and preferences hence this is a opinionated review.
I do encourage writers to write and don't want to put them down about that. I've seen many stories I enjoy stop receiving updates due to too many complaints of people shouting at the author.
I do plan on doing other opinion reviews and this was one I just attempted let me know if I can improve, or be more direct on the review itself. Thanks for reading.
I got to chapter 1-8 and I give up. I can't get myself to like the MC. She reminds me of the bitchy woman that others dislike in other stories (the one who usually dies first). I get people can make stupid desicions when scared or confused but she's constantly angry and acts like a 7 year old. Maybe the story just isn't for me but yeah.
I mainly want to mention the characters here being well rounded 3D characters for the most part, they have their motivations and identity and it changes throughout the story.
Our protagonist goes through the stages of growth really well and is changing her opinions and views as she learns. I really enjoy our main cast of characters and the way they interact with each other and the world.
The strange mysteries of the world they are in or rather inconsistencies in the world itself all definitely feels like puzzle pieces being found for a reason.
The magic is interesting and the story has plenty of aspects that make it worth continuing to read.
Well, this was a pleasant surprise, found out recently that the author of one of my favorite stories is writing another one, one in a totally different genre, after reading this, i can say that the characters and the world they are in have quite grown onto me, i am actually quite liking them, and hope to see more of them.
One day, our MC Heather finds herself in another world, one that she recognizes as New Eden, created by the mysterious visitors who appeared years ago and tried to understand humans, and created New Eden as a way to understand humans, she realizes she has been Chosen. Unhappy with the fact that she has been taken away from her normal life, initially Heather tries to get back, but comes to accept that leaving is simply not possible and comes to slowly embrace her weird life in the game she is now in. But this game is a harsh one, where players compete with eachother, to get more levels, then there is the matter of necromancers being outlawed, and just that is a class Heather chooses.
Heather is just a average girl, one that wants to just have a easy life. And thats reflected in how she behaves as a character. To the point that she did not even bother following the events of the arrival of the visitors up to the creation of New Eden, this results in her not knowing what to do at all first, let alone how to play the game she is now in. This leads to her getting in dangerous situations, just because she does not know better, however she slowly learns from her experiences in the game, even if she still remains a rather normal girl, who rather wants cute and beautiful things and shudders at the thought of ugly things, like rotting undead, which is rather a contradiction given her first class.
Then there is Frank, even if their meeting mostly happens by luck, they still become a rather nice pair, of a undead and his necromancer. Im quite liking their interactions and how they become friends over the course of the story so far.
I do have to say however, that the characters overall dont appear to be that smart, especially if some random adventurers fall for one of the classic tricks. I dont have a problem with the MC being rather unintelligent at first, its part of how she is, and she has shown signs of improvement. However thats not enough and i can see it being hard for some reasons to stomach how the characters are like, especially Heather.
This story is quite well written, considering that the author has no previous experience writing a isekai/litrpg story, from his other work, i know he can create quite the immersive story worlds, with deep lore.
Since it is still quite early in the story, and thus its not fully shown yet how well constructed the world the author has created here is, this story could improve a lot, but as said, what i have seen from his other story, gives me lots of hope, even if the author is writing in a new genre he is unfamiliar with.
So far i have read, there are no signs that this story has the problems that normally plague the stories in those genres. Especially the fact that the MC is just 'normal' while being a necromancer, not edgy and out for kills like you see many do in other fictions.
Okay, grammar is not fully perfect, but considering the author is self-taught at english, its very good overall, just that the author has a habit of making the same mistakes over and over, those usually do get spotted, but its a bit annoying to find such constant errors of the same type. Should be perfectly readable for those who just want to read something with decent grammar.
The author's writing style is solid, i havent seen any issues with it so far, the pacing is rather nice, not too slow, enough time to let things develop. Also easy to read this story, for me atleast, and i dont have a issue at all with the way information is given to the reader in this story.
To conclude this, this is a good story by a rather skilled author who knows what he is doing, even if he is writing in a new genre he is unfamiliar with. Quite fun to read overall, although the grammar could still use improvements.
So yeah, i recommend this, for those who want a rather normal MC, who is not exactly OP or edgy like many necromancers MC's tend to be. So come join Heather in her adventures through the world of New Eden.
I’ll start with the most obvious: The characters are immature. The main character especially. She’s supposed to be in her 20s, but acts like she’s 12. The author likes to reinforce that our MC, Heather, does not know anything about RPGs or fantasy stories that she must have been living under a rock. A couple of things she's never heard of include goblins and necromancers, where she is constantly asking what the latter is and what they can do. What’s more, she is ridiculously uneducated in how New Eden works. This is despite it both being around for a while, hugely important to humanity as a whole, and a constant threat to people who m by unknowingly picked to play.
There’s this strange infatuation with bringing up how “gamers” are somehow different than other people. Heather keeps insisting that she’s not a gamer, she doesn’t know about stats or quests of anything. Apparently everyone else is a hardcore gamer that at some point sold out their humanity, unless Heather made friends with them, then they’re ok but still oddballs. Heather is different because she wants to work together and for everyone to get along.
Lastly, the spelling is pretty bad. Lots of grammatical mistakes, especially “your” and “you’re,” though that’s just the most obvious because it happens so many times. Copy a chapter in MS Word and do a basic spellcheck, and you can catch quite a few of them. It should be a pretty easy fix, no idea why it’s not already done.
This story is very well written.
This story is very well fleshed out.
This story has a lot of very interesting characters.
BUT, I don't like the main character, she is selfish to the extreme and embodies much of what I hate about myself and many others. I find the story fantastic, I love the world and what it promises. The mystique and intrigue has been built up fantastically.
I just don't like the main character, thats the only thing that ended up making me quit.
Don't let this dissuade you though, I saw that others complained about the same thing but its not like its a majority, It just seems to be hit or miss and if you enjoy the main char then you will be in for a romp of a story.
Slight rant with more specifics below.
She is constantly walking all over Frank, she doesn't listen to his opinions, has no consideration for events and doesn't seem to learn at all.
I miss development, I miss change, I miss growth. She is crushing the people around her and me being a guy with low self-confidence I know how it feels and it sucks. I fcking hate people like her and I think she will only bring more negativity into "the visitors" view of humanity.
Good day, rant over.
I don't actually like Heather. Let me address that and make it clear. Heather isn't my favorite character at all. But the fact that you can make me want to see what happens to her regardless of that fact makes this a good story and you a damn good author. Because sometimes we encounter people we may not necessarily like, but still want to invest time and energy in, and for me you've managed to capture that. It's an impressive feat, one I want to celebrate and something I want to encourage. So by all means, keep it goin.
I can certainly see what other people are saying about the main character being an idiot. That part doesn't bother me, she's not that dumb, but what does bother me is how everyone else is so edgy.
"I'm a gamer! I am in touch with the darkness of Humanity! This is just the way of the world because we're all gamers." It's like, give me a break, only gamers decided to try out this new world that aliens have built for humanity? Absolutely no one with any experience in administration and not being a shit came into this new world? Only the D&D players that no one likes playing with came into this world and they're the only people who have any power? Heather is the only one who got a new life and didn't decide to play it like an MMO troll?
It's kind of ridiculous but it's not a huge deal for the story.
I don't think the plot has completely accomplished its goal of hooking the reader in. There's still no real call to action other than "Kevin, The Dragon Slayer" and a call to action is a very important part of having a plot. Most of what could become the main character's motivations are still very ethereal, she hasn't made any kind of goal. That's disappointing considering the story is already into what the author calls "The Second Book".
I’m being pretty harsh in my criticisms for the story because this is a review and I want to point out what I disliked. I feel that it’s important for me to state that I do still like the story. For all its faults it is still good. I’m enjoying it and I will continue reading it, I just hope that the author gives the main character some actual goals soon rather than many foreshadowed enemies that might eventually turn into an actual story arc.