[Write about being insulted. How do you feel? Why do you think the other person insulted you?]

I hate insults. A lot.

During my school career, a big part of settling ideological disputes was…insulting the opposing party.

BUT WHY?!?! Why does everyone turn to such a retarded method of communication when they can’t argue?! Why not just try to get your ideas across?!

I really can’t express how much I dislike the culture of insulting people you disagree with. I’d much prefer to lose an argument than simply have my ideological opponent start spouting bullshit!

You called me ugly? You must be blind!

You ask why I’m wearing cheap shoes? Because I’m not retarded and am nigh-immune to marketing tactics that promote looking like the richest person in the room! Just wear what’s comfortable!

You make baseless claims about my sexuality and hobbies? How are these even insults?! If I were gay, what would it matter?! If I did disgusting things when alone, how would you know?!

You could say the same thing about anyone else at any time during any other argument! Why does everyone enjoy watching something so base?! Anyone could make a list of insults to spew at anyone else!

Now, if the person insulting me or anyone else was RAPPING their insults…that’d be pretty cool, because I appreciate difficult-to-learn skills. For example, here’s something I’ll make on the spot (though it’ll take me half an hour it’s still on the spot)…

Listen here punk I’m gonna teach ya a le-sson,

I know you’re quite stupid, so this is a pre-sant,

To you, who always has a hard time learnin’,

So I’ma graft this info into your skull, like a surgeon,

Now here’s what I hope you can learn, man,

Specifically, a few steps I made into a plan,

Starts with number one, for you to listen,

Cause I don’t know ‘bout you, but I’m not a chicken,

And arguing with someone is much like an attack,

What I mean is, not doing it is like retreating back,

Which makes you nothing more than a loser,

For not standing your ground and looking smoother,

Part two, it’s so much easier to say,

That the person you’re talking to just looks gay,

But that’s not even an insult, not in this day and age,

Unless of course, you’re hiding your feelings in a cage,

In which case, you’re the joke here,

For using “gay” like I’m supposed to fear,

The word, but it’s not scary,

In fact, you can call me a motherfucking fairy,

The third part involves some actual thinking,

Not just spouting insults like it means you’re winning,

Why? Because what actually takes skill,

Is using words to make something like a drill,

A weapon, that’ll actually hurt me,

Not your stupid insults that sound kinda flirty,

Seriously, what the hell do you even mean?

Like calling me ugly’ll make me turn green?

No, I think you’re really fixated on my face,

‘Cause every time you look at it, your heart begins a race,

It beats, oh so quickly,

Wait, that actually makes me feel a bit sickly.

Don’t worry though bro, I ain’t the least bit homophobic,

If that’s how you feel, I don’t mind if you sound explosive,

But when you’re yelling at my face like that,

Just know that you’re acting like a brat,

Who can’t be the slightest bit calm or civil,

And when you’re like that, all your words are just drivel,

I mean come on, you can’t be serious,

You play the tough guy but you sound delirious,

What next, when insults don’t work you’re going raise a fist?

Bad luck for you bub, ‘cause if you do, you won’t be able to resist,

The tears flowing out of yours eyes,

‘Cause, I turned out to be quite the surprise,

You didn’t even consider that a man this skinny and thin,

Could kick your teeth right out yo mouth and collapse your chin.

A note from FaebyenTheFairy


My first attempt at a rap! It may be simple, but I'm proud of it!

About the author


Bio: A web novelist. Currently in training as a fantasy writer.

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