Revenge of the Sorcerer King

by Dragonsunxx

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Tragedy Anti-Hero Lead Female Lead GameLit High Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Multiple Lead Characters Non-Human lead Strategy Strong Lead Villainous Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Oberon Blackphoenix almost united all the races on his part of the world. It would have meant a term of peace yet unheard of. Sadly, he was betrayed by one of his most trusted advisors. With his once friend's sword piercing his chest, he cast his last spell. Unintended by even him, his spell incorporates a legendary item that results in the world being cursed. Now over a thousand years later, a certain sorcerer once again wakes... and he is not happy.

Alessa Darkfeather is hunted daily, all because of who her long lost ancestor was. She expected to die soon after her mother was stolen from her. Now... Now she might have a chance at revenge and she plans on taking it. If she can survive that is... 

NOTE: I DO NOT OWN THE IMAGE USED IN THE COVER. If the creator requests, I will immediately pull it down.

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Dragonsunxx

Dragonsunxx

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GLM
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Early Review. Like the concept but the storytelling feels off.

Let me start by saying that I usually don't do early reviews, but this story confused me enough to do it.

To sum it up: I can't tell if this is written by a rookie author or an experienced one.

I liked your concept, and the grammar and editing are great for this site stardarts, BUT the story feels cheesy as all hell.

Seeing that this is not your first story (Although I haven't read Dungeon Robotics. It was on my Read Later list), and that your other story got to trending, I raised my expectations. 

And this is the result, If I hadn't checked ur profile first I would've thought this was a first try at writting, one heavily mimicking Japanes Light novels.

The storytelling is all over the place, its too explicit, lacking emotion, and the characters feel like cheap anime cut-outs due to the cheesy dialogue.

The descriptions feel amateurish as well, made worse by run on sentences and situations that feel straight outta a cheap anime.

I hope I didn't sound too harsh, but I've felt this story has potential, and its execution is just... not quite there.

A advice I think you could use is, you don't have to tell the reader everything. Omitt things, create mistery, let people discover your world.

Most of the stuff I criticized above feels like a consequence of you being overeager to tell people about the awesome world you made, when in reality its just spoiling everything at the cost of the storytelling quality.

blash96
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Early Review and my first

My first ever review :)

I am reviewing this early (Chapter 4) but I am reading your other Work "Dungeon Robotics" which is one of my most favourit novels on this site.

Four chapters in and I can say that the Story seems interesting even if not unique. Characters are a bit bland at the moment, but since we are only four chapters in this is not really unexpected since it takes time to build a good Character. I quite like the main character and his descendant already though so if the other characters also gain more depth than now than this story is chaping up to be a good contestor

Khalaenas
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I have followed ye from thine other makings

Still the fastest, and the story’s got six chapters, which is simply... Preposterous! Ridiculous! Sacrilegious! Lo, the author must be a madman, lest my mind deceives me!

 

Update : i have lost all humanity. i am perfect. Flee before me. For after there came a FIFTH chapter, so, did i ascend.

 

Update two : I have now cast off all mortal vestiges, and is attaining true enlightenment. I must thank the author, and his EIGHTH, chapter for this. I am now fully attuned with the universe. Amen.

 

Still good, yay!

☺️

 

ThatchyPlayer16
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This is an early review but i felt like giving it because of the use of the seven deadly sins. 

I have read many fantasy novels like this, worlds with dwarves, dragons and elves, but never have I seen these races given a sin.

Elves have sloth, dwarves have greed, dragons have gluttony, demons have lust, the orcs gained wrath, Druids gained sorrow and angels gained pride. 

I feel this story has a lot of promise and is definately worth the read.

I have also read this authors other works and i personally believe he is good at his work. 

If you want something interesting to read then give this one a go.

Shiroun
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I am hooked already

Thats a very interesting story that ye got there. I love revenge litrpg stories and yours is written pretty nice. Keep up the good work!

molenir
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The story starts out very nicely.  A Super powered guy coming back to life as an undead lich, discovering his descendant.  Decides to power them both up.  

I really enjoyed the world building, and the setting.   The dichotomy of a living girl and her undead ancestor was just too cool.   Sadly the author decided to turn the girl into another undead.  A stupid vampire of all things.   Truly disappointing after such a great start.  

The story is well written, with good grammar.  And obviously is proofread, which for RR, is a definite plus.   If I hadn't been so disappointed with turning the girl into just another undead, I would have rated the story much higher.   As it is, 3 stars is the best I can give it.

Randomly Kaotic
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The story show great promise the style is very good and I haven't noticed grammatical errors.

I have some doubt because the male MC seems a bit too overpowered so I hope it won't get too boring, though maybe, whith the female MC, things will be kept interesting.

Characters seems good but I have some doubts about his decision to send her inside the temple in the last chapter... I mean even an idiot would guess things would get bad for her, unless he had some strange reason other than what he said.

I will add in the future when things progress more but for now it's a great read.

RiahWeston
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Read now or suffer the world's curse!

Not too much of a review person so let's make this simple now. Read this now and enjoy it or forever be cursed to REGRET!

Who doesn't love a nice villain in a fantasy setting? I'm looking at you Overlord fan, you know what I'm talking about.

Good style, good story, good grammar, good character, good lore, good magic. The whole shebang of good evil, no scratch that, GREAT EVIL! *laughs manaically*