Singularity's System For Human Advancement

by brokebutton

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Tragedy GameLit LitRPG Low Fantasy Post Apocalyptic
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Humans on Earth finally achieved a breakthrough and created a real technological intelligence, called the Singularity. With its advanced intellect, the Singularity realized that humans had become too dependent on external power instead of continuing their evolutionary processes to become higher-order beings. To correct this issue, the Singularity took away most of the world’s technology and gave all life on Earth a way to advance itself. Every aspect of life was turned into a system by the Singularity as a method to speed up and manage humans’ progression and development.

Nate’s advancement system awoke on his sixteenth birthday just like every other human on Earth. However, his miserable starting point caused him to go on a journey that would bring him many dangers. Read along to follow the young man’s path to explore the world, fight ferocious beasts and advance using the Singularity’s System.

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  • Overall Score

Cheat system, bland MC.

Reviewed at: Chapter 9: Survival

Intresting world and decent writing - sentences are not clunky, good story tempo, OK grammar.

Unfortunately, even if all the side dishes are great, the main meal is just so-so, making this novel a big disappointment. The premise of the story "MC works hard to overcome low start" is just a lie.

Yes, upon awakening the hero is having the lowest scores, but his system is either buggy or a brutal cheat. He gets skills basically for free, progresses 1000 times faster that "normal" and by the end of the first week, his "low start" is basically resolved. I imagine it will be a roll to overpower from there on.

The worst of it all, the boy isn't really all that intersting. Your basic orphan kid, who was diligently doing what is expected of him all his life. His aspirations are as standard and unimaginative as you can get - which would be fine if he has a flaring personality, ingenuity of sorts or some other quality besides "never had got a demerit at work".

Nothing changes after the book starts. He gets a (secretly) OP cheat system out of the blue, that system is obviously different from the start, even if he thinks he got bad luck with the roll at first. He still follows instructions like a good boy, and if not for a unexpected event, would just float down the stream of his predestined life. Even after a sudden shift, he is barely in control, events and adventures are happening to him, with him getting unending powerups with bare minimum efforts. He feels like an authors puppet, constantly pulled along by narrative strings.

Stopped reading after his level up gave him 10 stat points, with the norm being 3 - of course, why not give him extra points on level-up too! Obviously the 20 points he just recieved while leveling for having common sense "wisdom" and "great efforts" of crawling around and hiding is not enough.

How else would we know who is the MAIN HERO of the story, if we don't spoil him with all kinds of boons, unlike stupid town NPC who have to work for months and years to better themselves!

  • Overall Score

The story as of chapter 12 is kinda meh. The events that are happening are cool and are described well enough, but the fact that the mc is bland as a dollar store brand cracker is detrimental to the rest of the story.

The main cause of this is the fact that he has yet another form of "the gamers mind", and so there will be no depth to the characters reactions to a situation making it exceedingly easy to write. Not to mention that if the mc does start to get some emotional depth it'll go against the stated abilities he's gained in the story more than likely.

P.s. I'll continue to read for a bit to see if the story gets better and will update the review as needed.

P.p.s. The state of the story as it is now I would recommend the author to take the concept and rewrite the story and keep in mind how a normal person acts in various situations.

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Interesting if not unique so far

Reviewed at: Chapter 13: Adjusting

So I really enjoy the story so far. Survival stories are always interesting at least for a while but I do have a couple concerns.

The first concern is that so far the character has survived entirely on blind luck and a system that seems designed to guarantee his survival. Now as it's still early in the story that's fine I just hope it changes before too long and we see a competent character that has moved away from that trope.

The second concern is consistent grammar mistakes and I'd like to recommend that you try to get a friend or family member to read these chapters before you post them. There are a number of areas in each chapter where it's obvious you have changed part of a sentence or paragraph and forgot to completely remove the old part so it's confusing and messy. By having somebody read the story and mark those spots so you can fix them I think you'd find the quality of your writing going up quickly. I know it doesn't seem important but I've read advise from several published authors that say doing something like this helped them improve a lot when they started out.

mike karr
  • Overall Score

So far I’m enjoying it ... keep it coming 

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Raccoon in a trash can here. 

I did a five-star review because I liked something in the story (Name of story: singularity, the class of the mc, mentioning nanites...)

This is a constructive review based on a raccoon's opinion. I normally wouldn't have done a review of the story if it didn't include the above. 

There are some troubles in concepts that attack part of the system. I give five to counter a bit of the review above. It doesn't mean the story deserves the 5, but it doesn't deserve 2. Similarly, many that you can search in RR don't. I learned that writing is hard and you need to be constructive to make stories better. Every story is a treasure. Although some are unreadable, they can become stories to children or family. 

So here is what I think about this story: 

Grammar and Style: True 5. It's a good style, it flows on its own. Grammar is well-done. 

Character: I like Nate, however, he lacks the emotional realism I would like. What I mean with this is that he seems possessed by a veteran in some points of the story. In others, he seems like a normal 16 yo. His written past is a bit weird because you expect him to have more emotion, hesitation... He gets a calm thinking ability, yes, but it says it works in special situations. Maybe change it to passive overall? Also, calm thinking doesn't mean wisdom or intellectual approaches. So the author would need to correct a bit of the past to make that above be adequate to the character. 

I commented where I believe (My opinion) the author needs some checks. The problem I mentioned is part of the system, the story basis itself on survival but he somehow gets the perfect skills he needs for his class. Something that makes his system buggy, since basing it on survival would make you expect certain levels of realism.

This doesn't mean you won't enjoy the story, I'm still having my fun out of it. I just write this to try to persuade the author to correct those places. 

Story: Cool idea, the class of the character is interesting. But there is a bit of a problem with this class. A lack of realism. Is this a survival-based game story or a realistic approach? I think it goes more towards a game route. Some of these troubles can be avoided with a bit of research. Don't get me wrong, the author probably has knowledge of what he wants to write, but no one knows all, and research is imperative. 

All in all, the story can be very cool correcting the above. For example, saying the kid is playing a VR or correcting the realistic issues.  It will plow the way to make it better and have a sturdy foundation for it to grab the writer's idea. 

I hope this motivates you, sometimes we just write and then edit, edit, edit... 

Overall: 4-4.5 score for the idea of the story. The only problem is a bit of how the system and the other things help Nate. These things can be corrected slowly, just try not to make the mc extremely overpowered because that would make the class lose its luster. He won't need to be a 'class name' anymore if he doesn't have the need to for being too strong. So if you do I suggest changing class. But I believe this would be weird.  

Well, thanks for anyone that read my blabber.