Singularity's System For Human Advancement

by brokebutton

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Tragedy GameLit LitRPG Low Fantasy Post Apocalyptic
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Humans on Earth finally achieved a breakthrough and created a real technological intelligence, called the Singularity. With its advanced intellect, the Singularity realized that humans had become too dependent on external power instead of continuing their evolutionary processes to become higher-order beings. To correct this issue, the Singularity took away most of the world’s technology and gave all life on Earth a way to advance itself. Every aspect of life was turned into a system by the Singularity as a method to speed up and manage humans’ progression and development.

Nate’s advancement system awoke on his sixteenth birthday just like every other human on Earth. However, his miserable starting point caused him to go on a journey that would bring him many dangers. Read along to follow the young man’s path to explore the world, fight ferocious beasts and advance using the Singularity’s System.

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brokebutton

brokebutton

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Acerbic
  • Overall Score

Cheat system, bland MC.

Intresting world and decent writing - sentences are not clunky, good story tempo, OK grammar.

Unfortunately, even if all the side dishes are great, the main meal is just so-so, making this novel a big disappointment. The premise of the story "MC works hard to overcome low start" is just a lie.

Yes, upon awakening the hero is having the lowest scores, but his system is either buggy or a brutal cheat. He gets skills basically for free, progresses 1000 times faster that "normal" and by the end of the first week, his "low start" is basically resolved. I imagine it will be a roll to overpower from there on.

The worst of it all, the boy isn't really all that intersting. Your basic orphan kid, who was diligently doing what is expected of him all his life. His aspirations are as standard and unimaginative as you can get - which would be fine if he has a flaring personality, ingenuity of sorts or some other quality besides "never had got a demerit at work".

Nothing changes after the book starts. He gets a (secretly) OP cheat system out of the blue, that system is obviously different from the start, even if he thinks he got bad luck with the roll at first. He still follows instructions like a good boy, and if not for a unexpected event, would just float down the stream of his predestined life. Even after a sudden shift, he is barely in control, events and adventures are happening to him, with him getting unending powerups with bare minimum efforts. He feels like an authors puppet, constantly pulled along by narrative strings.

Stopped reading after his level up gave him 10 stat points, with the norm being 3 - of course, why not give him extra points on level-up too! Obviously the 20 points he just recieved while leveling for having common sense "wisdom" and "great efforts" of crawling around and hiding is not enough.

How else would we know who is the MAIN HERO of the story, if we don't spoil him with all kinds of boons, unlike stupid town NPC who have to work for months and years to better themselves!

JeanDRacc
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Raccoon in a trash can here. 

I did a five-star review because I liked something in the story. Sadly, there are some troubles in concepts that attack part of the system. I give five to counter a bit of the review above. It doesn't mean the story deserves the 5, similarly many that you can search in RR don't. However, I learned that writing is hard and you need to be constructive to make stories better. Every story is a treasure. Although some are unreadable, they can become stories to children or family. 

So here is what I think: 

Grammar and Style: True 5. Its good style and grammar is well-done. 

Character: I like Nate, however, he lacks the emotional realism I would like. My comments already have the way I believe you can solve this Mr author. 

Story: Cool idea, the class of the character is interesting. But there is a bit of a problem with this class and a lack of realism. Some troubles that can be avoided with a bit of research. Don't get me wrong, the author probably has knowledge of what he wants to write, but no one knows all, and research is imperative. 

All in all, the story can be very cool correcting the above. It will plow the way to make it better and have a sturdy foundation for it to grab the writer's idea. 

I hope this motivates you, sometimes we just write and then edit, edit, edit...