Discovering Magic

by Signspace13

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy High Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Portal Fantasy / Isekai
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

“Venture into your mind and into a new world, one where there is Magic. Magic that is nascent and unexplained, one where you can be the one to Discover it, by delving dark dungeons or examining magical Beasts, by studying ancient scrolls or by finding lost gods, your Imagination is the only limit.”

This is what Mike thought he was getting into when he lay down to play a new VR game, but fate had another thing in store for him, he was whisked away to a new world in another Dimension, with an AI fused to his body that refuses to let him treat this world as a game, all the while trying to make it as much like a game as it can. The only Objective he is given is to Discover Magic as he learns to survive and live in this new world, doing the best he can to not die, or even worse.

***

Hi All!

This is my story, it has been brewing in my mind in various forms for years. It will be rough, this is the first story I have written in a long time, so please help me make it as great as it can be!

It is a High Fantasy adventure/Isekai LitRpg, it will have action and adventure, levels and dungeons, Elves, Dwarves and Gods.

It is not a Virtual Reality story, though it will touch on some topics of artificial intelligence.

The core focus of the story is going to be the discovery and deep delve in the magic system and fantastical elements of the world. Mana is used so often in LitRPG's but how often is it explained what mana is, magic is used in fantasy, but how often do you understand what it feels like. Magical races like Elves, Dwarves etc. often exist in stories, but why do they exist? and what truly makes them different from Humans and from each other? What is a God and where did they come from?

These are the sort of topics that I want to really dive into in this series, all through the lens of a progression focused LitRPG.

Thanks for reading!

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Signspace13

Signspace13

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KoboldPatrol
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Interesting premise but needs much work, too technical for now

(as of chapter 23)

Like it happens to the protagonists in many other RRL stories, Mike wants to enter a groundbreaking VR game but is completely transported into a fantasy world instead. Due to dimensional travel shenanigans, the game AI is integrated into his body as a living tattoo, giving him a system interface with its own mind. He awakes as a prisoner in a nazi-elf facility, destined to be a medical research subject because of that integrated AI. Will he be able to escape before Dr Mengelelf arrives and how will he survive once outside? Come in and find out

There is a big focus on the technical/LitRPG aspects. While I really like numbers and statistics, here it is excessive compared to other stories and compared to the amount of narration going on. This is the biggest fault of the story by far. Stat and skill tables should be a help to visualize and flesh out a story but they can't replace plot. The system itself is interesting with good mechanics, the author has clearly put much thought into it. The stat boxes take up a large part of the chapters, often they are posted multiple times in one chapter with only a tiny change. Not helping is their awkward formatting with needless linebreaks and lots of text in very narrow (and thus long) columns. This has been recently pointed out so it might be rectified soon, as the author asks for and listens to criticism, striving to improve (e.g. the colors of the text are still not great but they seem to be much better than what the early comments/reviews described).
The story is told in third-person internal style from Mike's POV. Grammar in general is okay but there are many run-on sentences. Punctuation and spelling could be better, an editor has just been announced so that might improve as well.
Mike is spending most of his time trying out his new skills and experimenting with the magic, while that is interesting it would be more interesting to see a story develop or a personality shown. The other characters (only two so far) have only had a tiny bit of space, they are guided by their own motivations which luckily are aligning with the MC's interests.

All in all, this story has an interesting premise and the mechanics are well thought out, but the balance of the story has to be strongly shifted towards plot before this can become a great work. I'll be monitoring it.

Adammax
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A lot of Crunch. No story.

This web novel has some great mechanics like other people have mentioned. It has a lot of protentional. What it lacks, is Story. I am on chapter 10 now and everything up until now has been 97% info dump 3% story. I am 10 chapters in and know nothing about the personality of the character. Extremely little has happed plot wise. There is no hook. Nothing to draw the reader in to the story. Nothing to make the reader care/interested in the character. Nothing to keep me reading.  

mike karr
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Interesting concept, horribly flawed execution so far. I only read 6 chapters but so far nothing has happened other than the mc who randomly knows Latin for some unspecified reason

humblepeasant
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I can't read purple word on a black background

I literally got headache trying to read purple colored text on a black background. And the light theme is too bright for my eye.

l611
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The main problem with this story is that, it doesn't know its audience. its rrl so a) if you are not writing a masterpiece then its better for it to be fastpaced and b) we know what the system is, we know what str etc is.  the minute changes that you might have to their definitions come after the plot is set rolling. 
I read 5 chapters, but was bored to read any further.  

knifeandko
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A nice mechanics-focused story. Magic feels cool, without being too quick to become OP; MC is not annoying; enemies feel appropriately strong/interesting. The pacing is good enough, and the story reads smoothly. Worth a try for almost anyone.

 

Reviewed as of chapter 25.

ZekromZZ
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I feel obligated to reveiw this story as no one has done so already so I'll keep it short and sweet. I LOVE this WN as of chapter 6, the only thing that could be improved from my errorblind mind would be the update speed/consistency. (I'm sure there are a couple other things that could be improved but my mind has trouble picking them out when I'm enjoying a story)

Sauce
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Exactly what i've been looking for.

I'm probably a bit biased because I am the editor, so I know a tad bit more than is released right now, but I really like where things have gone. People say it's very exposition-y or crunchy, but thats just because were setting up a whole new system that I've never seen before. The way it works is truly realistic, an AI would absolutely make sure the inhabitant is prepared for its life with the system. The system itself is also really well written, and this style of story is something I've never seen before, and has been always what I've been looking for in a litRPG. The characters as they are, are a bit bland, but they do become much more fleshed out very soon. The story itself is very interesting so far. I give grammar a 3.5 rating because I'm not finished editing all the currently posted chapters yet :P

RoRl62
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Needs More Attention

It seems to be very mechanic focused at this point in the story. Very interesting magic and leveling system. If you like Delve, then this scratches the same itch. Unfortunately, there's not much story available at the time of writing, and the author is still trying to figure his magic system out. Something about it seems to change every chapter. To the author's credit, he does go back to edit previous chapters with the changes included, so it's not that big of a problem for newer readers.

Wispy Jellyfish
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Don’t sleep on this story!

Definitely worth taking a shot at reading this story! It’s well written, has unique mechanics and premises and even as of chapter 9 I can’t wait to see what happens next. Well worth the time to read it!