Original HIATUS Action Adventure Sci-fi GameLit LitRPG Male Lead School Life
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

Colton Bridges' life is going according to plan when a stranger walks into the store where he works. Bleeding out, the man grabs Colton's hand trying to stop him from calling 911. "Don't tell anyone you have it," the man warns Colton. After breaking free from the stranger, Colton calls for help but the man is gone. Not dead, gone...just gone. 

Join Colton in a harrowing journey as he struggles with newfound powers and unprecedented root access to his life while running from shadowy government agencies and dirty cops. What would you do if you were the superuser?

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  • Ratings :
  • 5
  • Pages :
  • 63
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Good as a rough draft

Reviewed at: Chapter 8

As of chapter 8:

Well, it's still too early in the story to make a definitive statement with regards to it's quality, but it looks promising. There are a few issues though:

- It feels like an early draft (which it is, according to an authors note, i think). That means, that there is no good flow to the story, it feels somewhat jumbled together

- Character interactions feel forced and/or rushed at times

- Descriptions are often told instead of shown, they feel like separate parts, removed from the story.

- The whole thing would very much benefit from a slower pacing, as it feels very rushed, things that should be a chapter on their own are glimpsed over in a few short sentences


Even though it is not perfect, for a rough draft it is acceptable and it definitely has a lot of potential! The cast is varied, everyone seems to have their little quirks, though they aren't fully fleshed out yet (not part of the score, it's too early to have perfectly fleshed out characters). This is a story to watch out for, if it ever gets published or reworked here on RR.