The Preying City

by SinSuzushi

Original ONGOING Action Fantasy Mystery Sci-fi Grimdark High Fantasy Mythos Non-Human lead Ruling Class Secret Identity Strategy Supernatural Villainous Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

The city calls for you.

It spins a web around your vulnerable self. Lulls you into a cozy sleep and tightens its grip on you.

There is NO escape from the city.

 

The city of Kindlewich entices everyone with promises of riches and happiness. It harbors supernaturals with unimaginable powers while the masses remain ignorant. The strong prey on the weak and the weak exploit each other.

 

The cover art is by Arnaud Imobersteg, a brilliant architecture visualizer. Please show him some love if you can.

https://www.artstation.com/artwork/8xlvO

  • Overall Score
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  • Story Score
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  • Pages :
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SinSuzushi

SinSuzushi

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motthi
  • Overall Score

Good case of show don't tell

I quite like how this story so far. (As of 'Elias (2)') It does not coddle you and you learn of the world rather naturally. Not once have I seen an info dump and it allows you to infer things or just see things in action. Heck, we are not entirely certain of what kind of creature the MC is and I feel the story is better for it. 

I also adore the way the leveling system works. There is no blue boxes to chart strength and I feel it is quite clear that while the higher level creatures are powerful, someone lower than them could take them down with some difficulty. Also I adore the artifacts concept and I look forward to how all the different elements of this story interact. I am rather excited to keep reading and to see what the future holds.

EagleFire
  • Overall Score

Not bad. Still needs work, but almost there.

The story isn't bad and could even be considered well written, by RoyalRoad standards.

The plot revolves around the main character in his quest to find answers. There aren't any info dumps, so the reader is left to find things out as the story progresses, which is a good case of "show, don't tell".

Unfortunately, this must still be worked on a bit as it has slightly turned the story into a list of events with little emotion added to them. It feels less like a story and more like a diary. The MC goes here and does this, then there and does that, and so on, with little feeling added to anything.

With that being said, this is still better than most of the garbage on this site and should be given a try if you're in the mood for something more to read while waiting on updates for your main story. This review was written as of the 24th chapter and is still in the beginning stages so the author should improve as things go on.

It has very unique elements for this site with a great foundation and this reader is looking forward to more progression and improvement