Rebirth in a Magical World
by Flying JMW
What would you do if you were reborn inside the Harry Potter Universe. Follow Alexander Fawley's adventures as he is reborn in the Harry Potter world. In this tale, he will have new unique adventure to call his own, And he will discover that the Harry Potter Universe is much greater than he had imagined.
P.S This is my first story, so please leave reviews, to let me know how I am doing, so I can get better. Also J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter, I simply play in her world.
On a side note, I am curently re-editing the first half of the story. So, you might see grammer mistakes. I am working on fixing the problems, if you can push through to the chapter thirty-five ish the grammer improves alot becuase White Wind has been editing my mistakes.
- Overall Score
- Style Score
- Story Score
- Grammar Score
- Character Score
- Total Views :
- Average Views :
- Followers :
- Favorites :
- Ratings :
- Pages :
Leave a review
Honestly i think this is the best "fanfic" i have ever read, it doesn't just throw the MC into all of Harry's scenarios, instead starting several years earlier than any of the books and crafting an awesome original storyline making use of forgotten side characters and new original characters, heck i'm 43 chapters in and i don't even think i can remember "Harry Potter" be mentioned once.
The only critisism i could even make is a few cases of incorrect grammar and questionable choice of words / phrases that can throw you for a loop, but all the series really needs is a proof reader, and the grammar does improve in more recent chapters as the author has been putting up google docs where the readers can make note of mistakes.
All and all i would highly recommend, this fanfic is awesome, at 43 chapters in we have just reached the end of year 1 with the author mentioning 7 years have been planned, so hopefully we can strap in for the long haul, i look forward to reading everything this author gives us.
Going into this story was a bit of a rollercoaster at first, based on reviews I had rather high expectations but seeing the rather mediocre grammar quickly lowered them.
Yet as I read I found myself blown away by how far beyond this exceeded what I was expecting! the author (not to be rude) is some random dude with no other works and hasn't even been on RR a year and yet he manages to weave fascinating Harry Potter lore and a perfect portrayal of the characters we've all seen in the books into a quality story that remains both unique, lore and timeline friendly and most importantly forces you the spend hours binging the story only to be crushed that you've reached the latest chapter!
I might be a bit excessive saying this, but I believe that with good grammar this story might even contend with the works of Lone or L. Nimbus.
The story is almost original but set in the harry potter universe. The story is not tightly constrained by the harry potter but does tie in events in the books with an original story.
The writting is rather good, the length of chapters are longish but not boring or incoherent (Not a bad length for a book chapter). A couple of spelling mistakes or missing words (very minimal).
The MC's character is easy to read and MC doesn't seem to have to much plot armour so far, most encounters the MC spends time thinking before doing.
Love it, and I don't even like Harry Potter!👍
MC is relatable and feels like a real character. World is very fleshed out - author definitely has done his research and has taken Rowling's world a step further with his own world-building.
There are many reviews that makes this fic seem very enticing to read so I'll be focusing mostly on my issues with this fic. For any new readers who might like to know about the flaws of this novel before diving in, here goes-
The author writes in a simple, easy to understand way that may flow well IF you don't look into it too much. I did and believe me when i say there are so many instances that just left me exasperated or shaking my head in disbelief. The author adds scenes that if looked from a different perspective comes off as really cruel or contradicting. SPOILERS- there is a scene about 5 yr old Alex where he is hit with a tickling charm as his family laughs. Sound nice and wholesome right? Now imagine a 5 years old boy being floated above the ground, held upside-down as he is hit by a spell that makes him a laughing mess as his parents and half a dozen adults surround him and laugh as tears flow down his face and he screams at them to stop. Still funny? I didn't feel so. Another example is when they go to diagon alley. Alex's mom is said to be different from other women in that she doesn't like shopping (like males) but when they come back, she is said to be smug and both Alex and father are dead tired. That reaction seems to be more like a woman who is satisfied after a few hours of shopping while the males ran around behind her. Not at all an expression you'd expect from someone who hated shopping. I know what the author was going for but this is not an anime so it just doesn't come off his/her way. There are a lot of different scenes where their emotions doesn't make a quota of sense or seem very contradicting. You might think that it's a small issue but it breaks the immersion of someone who likes imagining every scene like a movie, though probably not a problem for those who usually skim over small details.
Story- The plot of the story seems interesting and original. If you're looking for a new oc in hp world story after storming through fanfiction site then you will enjoy it. The mc is 2 years older than hp, 3 if u count strictly from beginning of school year, so expect him to participate in T-W-Tournament. If the author continues writing then i dont think he will ever have a problem with plot planning. There is just so much for him to work with that it'll be difficult for him to have a block.
Grammar- Grammar is not a strong point in this fic. The first 20 or so chapters that I've read till now seems like some raw first draft posted just for fun, so don't expect professional work. Author does get an editor i think later on, though i haven't read till then.
Character- Damn, The characters. I think you already got some ideas from reading my first para. The people in this fic are really unreal yet still manages to come off as real people. The author gives them proper back stories, motivation, emotions and everything and yet these emotions never seem to make sense sometimes. The way the characters interact sometimes make me cringe or burst out laughing or grit my teeth in annoyance. One example straight from the story- ''the man asked- is this your first time here'' "i replied this is my first time here". Dude what is this? Seriously this is not how people usually interact. Just let it flow and don't repeat everything again and again. That was actually a mild example and i dont remember any right now but i hope u realise how silly that interaction came off. Atleast add an 'indeed' or 'yes' in that and it'll seem more real or just make him nod his head or something.
Another problem is inconsistent mc. I read a review that states how stupid and inconsistent he becomes in later chapters but i had one HUGE issue with the mc in one of the scenes. SPOILERS- So there was a mini plot where mc n gang goes against some bullies. In one scene the mc is badly humiliated and hurt by a few boys and thrown inside a closet. The mc swears bloody revenge and i liked that he won't be a pushover, he tells his friends to not do anything cause he wishes to personally handle it. Nice, good, i was anticipating some good action. U know what the mc did? NOTHING! HE DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Like what the fuck? He was going off about how he's going to take revenge and then it's just fucking glossed over with his friend cursing one of the bullies and that's it. He doesn't even say or think anything about it again. It's just forgotten. I kept waiting and waiting but i got nothing. He should have atleast been angry with anna instead of being scared. She just went against his request and he's scared of her. He tells Cedric off about not having any pride but does he himself have any? This is where i left the story. I could handle many things but an inconsistent mc who goes too and fro from a competent genius to an absolutely useless wimp is not one of them. I hope the author clears this for me because I really want to read this fic but i just can't torture myself willingly. Sorry.
So overall this story seems entertaining if you ignored a few issues.I might pick it up later if i feel an urge or if the author hopefully replies to my last issue.
I've read a fair few fanfics and this is easily cream of the crop, to the point where I think the author could have adapted it into an original work if they wanted to.
As many others have mentioned, the grammar is not the best, it's more the choice of words than anything but you can understand through the context and they seem to be making lengths to fix this issue.
I can't recommend this story enough, the protagonist is likeable but not perfect, the reincarnation is done in a more original way rather than the usual cut and paste scenarios you tend to see lately and every scenario feels authentic.
I've blasted through the current 76 chapters and am looking forward for more, good job.
i like most of the explanations behind some of the decetions and magical mekaniks that we get
be aware there are a few chapters not suitible for asmatics....(had me wheezing with laugther)
For style 5. As it is close to the original but I the gap it is true to its own
For story 5. As a fanfic of one of the most fanficed stories out there this one is original enough to hold its own
For Grammer 3.5. While the mistake Are often you can genarally tell what was intendet
For charrecter 5. The charrecter we know Are true enough reflections of the orriginals that it feels real
I read this from start to finish within 3 days and near the end I was scratching my head at this baffling pacing the author has set. We are introduced to a reincarnator who loses his memories slowly over time but is in all intents and purposes a pure genius.
This story is a lot easier to handle if you treat the MC like a child, pure and simple because frankly this kid is Retarded with a captial R. The sheer amount of stupid moments was giving me a headache near the end.
1. The entire Grendel situation was a big ol' "WUT?!?!?!" MC discards his most powerful protector kitten, doesn't tell anyone but his first year buddies (YEAH Fuckin first years...), had a billion opportutnies to have any adult or older student come and help out but always chose the path of the Retard. I mean no extra magical equipment, the fuckin kid waltzs down into Grendel's lair 3 times in a row no cares in a world. Any sane person would be nervous as fuck, but nah the kid skips in with no tools to defend himself without a care in the world.
Why was he so confident? Oh because some ancient vampire prisoner told him so. Yup..... that level of stupid. I mean at least take some precautions, but nope not a single one.
I know what the author is doing, he wants a Harry Potter 2.0.
I know what the author is doing with all these railroads to have the MC go into dangerous situations with his BFFs (who are all first years). He wants a Harry Potter 2.0 who goes on crazy year end missions that are life threatening. Let me tell you, this was forced way to hard.
Harry Potter was only in these situations due to extenuating circumstances each time, and yet the Author just has the MC make snap decisions to go at these adventures solo. Harry comes off in the books as someone who got some bad luck, the MC comes off as someone who is stupid as fuck and can't make a wise choice to save his life. (lets not even begin how he always is dropping insane fucking secrest on his 1st year buddies, mate they are 11 years old for utterly no reason.)
I come off this 47 chapters in thinking the MC is a gloryhound and is willing to sacrifice his friends for glory. He didn't think about them once and put kids (remember he is a reincarnator) into life threatening situations without any thought.
Let's talk about pacing, the author has the MC be a genius. That's fine I can get behind this, but the baffling progression the author is taking with spells has me expecting the MC to be beat voldy 1v1 by 3rd year. Slow it the fuck down mate. You are having him learn stupid complicated spells so early. Your pace was solid in the first chapters before school, then you got excited and just took off granting him powerful spells willy nilly at adult strength.
I like the AU, I like the new villians, I like so much of this, but the author is railroading the MC way too hard to be like harry potter and is making him seem like a mini psychopathic glory hound.
The story is passably well written, grammar and style wise. The story itself has not been particularly compelling but I can't say it's been boring either (it's basically hogwarts school life, mostly, not as creative as it could have been but not as boring as it could have been either), the characters are a little bit better than average, but nothing to write home about, grammar is stellar.
With that out of the way lets talk about the problems.
For one, we have an OP protagonist that's written as if he's not OP. The short of it is that he's a genius when it comes to his schoolwork, leaps ahead of his classmates at every turn, and when he fights without his life on the line, everybody is a pushover, he just won't lose. Whenever his life is on the line however, he's that guy that got dumped into a fantasy dungeon naked and gets ripped apart by monsters yet somehow miraculously survives through mostly luck everytime. It's like when it counts, he's useless, when it doesn't really count, he's a god. I just can't tell through reading this story if the protagonist is meant to be atotal pushover or a true blue elite.
He also does a lot of stupid things, such as when he was a kid practicing wandless magic, he doesn't follow through, he just drops it, he accepts that he will be helpless without a wand after struggling a little bit. (Yet later on when he's learning something else that seems ridiculously hard for him, surrender gets removed from his dictionary...)
The worst thing for me though, and the point where I dropped this story, is that this is a reincarnation story, except it's not a reincarnation story. Confused? Yeah me too. First off the guy is reincarnated with memories from our earth, and most of the harry potter books, then later it gets retconned to be much fewer harry potter books... And then
Surprise surprise! Protagonist starts losing his memory, which is funny, cuz the guy has like perfect memory, even including events from his infancy, but the event sfrom his past life just start fading from his head for no explicable reason. Fast forward a bit further and a big bad monster invades his brain and eats all of them. So now we have a reincarnated guy with absolutely no memories of his past life, at which point I have to ask... What was the fucking point of writing a reincarnation story when the author clearly, absolutely does not want to write one?
In other words, author just wasted my time with this. If I didn't want to read a reincarnation story, I wouldn't have ever come here. If I didn't want to read a fan fic, I never would have come here either, I wonder if next up the guy gets teleported to the world of Narnia now, with his memories from the Harry Potter world magically disappearing next? Or maybe not narnia, since that would still be fan fiction, maybe some original world of the author instead? Yeah seems more likely, after all since he tagged it as a reincarnation story, then borderline retconned it so that he's not really a reincarnation character anymore, I would not be surprised if he decides he doesn't want to write fan fiction anymore either.
It's a real shame, I kinda liked where the story was going, even with the weirdness of not being able to tell if the mc is overpowered or pathetically weak, that was forgivable. But this is not. With this event, either the entire tone of the story changes in a way I don't want to see it change, or the writing quality will drop like a rock because the author won't commit to seeing through the effects this kind of effect should have on the protagonist's personality. Either way, it would be a waste of time for me to keep reading.