Evolution (Rewrite)

by A wild writer appears

Original HIATUS Action Fantasy Romance Sci-fi Dungeon Female Lead GameLit High Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Multiple Lead Characters Post Apocalyptic War and Military
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

In a single instant, we lost everything. All the technology and progress made by the humankind stopped working. However, that was just the beginning of a new age of evolution — an era marked by battles and fighting for survival to make humanity reach the next level.

To me, the end of our civilization made me realize many things. It made me realize how I was short-sighted and weak. Many people died in just a few days. And that made me understand how humankind was soft.

But in the end, all my struggles were for naught. In the end, everything made me understand what I truly was. I was just a...

 

 

Warning: this image doesn't belong to me

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Author
A wild writer appears

A wild writer appears

Achievements
35 Comments
Word Count (12)
500 Followers
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2nd Anniversary
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue ago
Chapter 01 Survivor ago
Chapter 02 Mistake ago
Chapter 03 Possibilities ago
Chapter 04 Limits ago
Chapter 05 Retreating ago
Chapter 06 Naive ago
Chapter 07 Team ago
Chapter 08 Progress ago
Chapter 09 Hunted ago
Chapter 10 Countdown ago
Chapter 011 Predator ago
Chapter 012 Survivors ago
Chapter 013 Wrestling ago
Chapter 014 Return ago
Chapter 015 Payback time (1) ago
Chapter 016 Payback Time (2) ago
Chapter 017 Alone (1) ago
Chapter 018 Alone (2) ago
Chapter 019 Harry (1) ago
Chapter 020 Harry (2) ago
Chapter 021 Training (1) ago
Chapter 022 Training (2) ago
Chapter 023 Climate change (1) ago
Chapter 024 Climate change (2) ago
Chapter 025 Climate change (3) ago
Chapter 026 Winter (1) ago
Chapter 027 winter (2) ago
Chapter 028 Winter (3) ago
Chapter 029 The Faceless man (1) ago
Chapter 030 The Faceless man (2) ago
Chapter 031 The Faceless man (3) ago
Chapter 032 Domination (1) ago
Chapter 033 Domination (2) ago
Chapter 034 Domination (3) ago
Chapter 035 Domination (4) ago
Chapter 036 Domination (5) ago
Chapter 037 Lending a hand (1) ago
Chapter 038 Lending a hand (2) ago
Chapter 039 Lending a hand (3) ago
Chapter 040 Lending a hand (4) ago
Chapter 041 Organization (1) ago
Chapter 042 Organization (2) ago
Chapter 043 Organization (3) ago
Chapter 044 Organization (4) ago
Chapter 045 The most powerful survivor (1) ago
Chapter 046 the most powerful survivor (2) ago
Chapter 047 the most powerful survivor (3) ago
Chapter 048 the most powerful survivor (4) ago
Chapter 049 the most powerful survivor (5) ago
Chapter 050 the most powerful survivor (6) ago
Chapter 051 the most powerful survivor (7) ago
Chapter 052 fifty days left (1) ago
Chapter 053 fifty days left (2) ago
Chapter 054 fifty days left (3) ago
Chapter 055 fifty days left (4) ago
Chapter 056 the dark orb (1) ago
Chapter 057 the dark orb (2) ago
Chapter 058 the dark orb (3) ago
Chapter 059 the dark orb (4) ago
Chapter 060 Challenges (1) ago
Chapter 061 Challenges (2) ago
Chapter 062 Challenges (3) ago
Chapter 063 Challenges (4) ago
Chapter 064 Challenges (5) ago
Chapter 065 Challenges (6) ago
Chapter 066 Challenges (7) ago
Chapter 067 Challenges (8) ago
Chapter 068 Challenges (9) ago
Chapter 069 The last challenge (1) ago
Chapter 070 The last challenge (2) ago
Chapter 071 The last challenge (3) ago
Chapter 072 Reunion (1) ago
Chapter 073 Reunion (2) ago
Chapter 074 Reunion (3) ago
Chapter 075 Reunion (4) ago
Chapter 076 Frozen World (1) ago
Chapter 077 Frozen World (2) ago
Chapter 078 Frozen World (3) ago
Chapter 079 Frozen World (4) ago
Chapter 080 Frozen World (5) ago
Chapter 081 Come to the dark side, we have boobs (1) ago
Chapter 082 Come to the dark side, we have boobs (2) ago
Chapter 083 Come to the dark side, we have boobs (3) ago
Chapter 084 Come to the dark side, we have boobs (4) ago
Chapter 085 Come to the dark side, we have boobs (5) ago
Chapter 086 Three suns (1) ago
Chapter 087 Three suns (2) ago
Chapter 088 Three suns (3) ago
Chapter 089 Claire (1) ago
Chapter 090 Claire (2) ago
Chapter 091 Claire (3) ago
Chapter 092 Claire (4) ago
Chapter 093 Determination (1) ago
Chapter 094 Determination (2) ago
Chapter 095 Determination (3) ago

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veted
  • Overall Score

I am unreasonably annoyed while writing this review. But, here we go anyway.

The MC is a complete imbecile.

He yells out loud and makes terrible decisions like an unattended toddler. He’s is such an unlikable character I cannot even force myself to care enough to find out why. He's also simulataneously a coward and raging rambo whose two brain cells can't rattle together hard enough to form a coherent thought.

In one instance he was just sitting around at night, and a system message in his brain annoyed him so he just screamed out loud "SHUT THE FUCK UP!". He just screams out for no reason, and it’s not the first nor last time he’s done it!

As for the dialogue in the story, it feels awkward and unnatural, and the events seem to just happen with little forethought or foreshadowing. The text is readable, but still has the occasional, obvious errors. All in all I still could forgive all the problems for an amateur writer if the MC wasn’t so mind numbingly stupid, and no, you can’t just say “you’ll find out later" in the comments section. That isn't enough! It needs to be (at least partially) explained in the available narrative, otherwise if he:

  • sounds dumb
  • looks dumb
  • acts dumb

Then for all intents and purposes, he's just plain dumb.

Bill Ngo
  • Overall Score

5 chapters in and i feel like punching a hole in my screen. The MC is so freaking dumb its annoying. Like another comment said "The MC is a complete imbecile."

The story with all its faults can still be read even if u ignore some problems but this shit as hell MC ruins all enjoyment if any that you might have had. Just drop this and dont read until the author learns a little.

You cant have an average story with a shit MC and expect to read this, you need something in this story too offset the crap that it has because how else do you expect people to stay.

Jonathan Turner
  • Overall Score

Truthfully I kinda hate the mc, but when you learn about his life and the things that he had to deal with it is understandable and I don't think I would be as well adjusted as him even. Now as of the chaper that i'm at he seems to be getting better which is interesting. I may have to change this review however depending how the next several chapers go. I like the idea of a true redemption story that the writer seems to be hinting at which many writers claim but hardly do they ever start with a truly hated mc. The only issue that I have is that power levels as with most of these novels are wonky but that is like 99% of other novels, however it does not go anywhere close to full Ghosthound with the plot armor. Im not saying its a story that is the best on RR but the writer has a lot of potental for a good story.

Chilling_Monk
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unfortunately I deleted my in depth review by accident, so this will have to do. 

 

As mentioned by many other reviewers, your Mc is a hot pile of shit. 

Now i have read up to the latest chapter (55) and I understand your intention and what you were going for. 

However that still doesn’t change how poorly this was executed. 

Your Mc is a potent cocktail of Asshole, Stupidity, irrationality, retardation, inconsistency and a whole lot of other trash thrown in there spiced with a little bit of depression. 

normally just one of those traits is enough for a lot of readers to drop an otherwise fine novel. 

Only thing that kept me going over chapter 10 was a strange curiosity and absolute boredom. 

 

Anyways if you wanna write a character defined or influenced by Mental Illness, Instability  or any other kind of traumatized Character check other novels with similar Backstories and see if you can copy some of there Mannerism and Traits. A good Example would be Shovel in Spades, Daz frequently behaves like an Asshole  yet doesn’t alienate the entire Readerbase. Even if you think his backstory makes it realistic that he would behave like that, take into consideration no reader of yours is really gonna care how much sense it makes after we read 1k pages because they are gonna drop it after a few Chapters. 

 

i think most of it basically boils down to how nonsensical your character behaves most of the time and his outbursts. Have him behave more introverted and you can still have the same kind of story while being wildly more popular In the rankings. I guarantee that. 

 

Next Point : Blueboxes

 

if you are gonna write Litrpg use your damn Blueboxes. People love beautiful blue boxes on RR, create a better designed, more detailed and cohesive Menu/Status, Explore the Options of Skills and other Stuff he can buy, even if he is not Gonna buy it right away or ever. Just use them to their full power, make it a feature not just a basic thing that’s just there for the story because system.   

 

The plot is  pretty basic and servicable I guess so not gonna comment on that for now. 

 

Grammar was was pretty bad the first few Chapters but I think it improved a little bit later on. 

 

You have some Issues with The Perspective of the Storytelling, there were numerous occasions where immersion into the story was broken due to that. Right now I just remember a mixture of First Person Perspective mixed with a omniscient narrator which was just weird, they weren’t switching they were mixed. So definitely go over perspectives and tenses as well. There is a lot of good material in the forums, check that out. 

 

All in all this definitely needs a lot of work to be considered a passable read,  the only really positive thing I can say is that I  think the later chapters are definitely better and I don’t find myself wanting to drop this every two chapters.

 

While i still find the inconsistencies of MC annoying it’s better than normal Mc so yeah lol. 

 

Character Development needs to happen gradually or needs to be Catalysed due to some impactful event. 

 

Sry for harsh words and sloppily written review but I still think there is a lot you can take from here and improve on your story. 

 

Good luck !

 

 

Stephen Lewis
  • Overall Score

Ch11 

Not a bad read I dont know how I feel about the mc but he isn't annoying me enough to drop so I will continue reading to see how it develops 

The only thing that pulled me from the story was some spelling errors (it wasn't unreadable just noticed a few)

Tldr not bad worth a try

Edit ch 31

Spelling and grammer issues increased and some weird phrasing of some things 

Edit ch 40 

I'm kinda done with the mc the way he just let's them dictate his life irritates me so dropped for now I might come back and try to read it again lator

reddir
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I originally left an abysmal rating without explaining why. I am attempting to amend that.

First, the story is interesting and the 'system' it uses is okay (up through chapter 38). The setting/background to the action also seemed to be developing toward something pretty good. The characters are varied, though sometimes a bit shallow. The main character is pretty well depicted...except for 1 super-glaring problem.

The main character, for some unexplained reason (my theory: author cultural conditioning?), utterly gives in to anything an older woman says (he is ~18 yrs old) regardless of how demanding or unfair or discourteous she might be. This is after he has already done quite a lot for them or their relatives (saving their lives, explicitly) and been a huge contributor to everyone's welfare. (In fact, every important female seems to be like this, though 2 of them do sometimes back down and seem to act normal-ish.)

I was able to look past the first egregious scene of this. The second broke all interest and goodwill I'd developed for this story.

SonnyChiba
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Story is ok but not great.  The grammar is readable but not very good.  The word choice and sentence structure is constantly awkward.  I feel pretty certain that the author is not a native speaker and this clearly shows in the frankly bizarre writing style. 

I like the idea of safe zones and upgrading/developing skills used in this work.  It is nothing unique but seems to be scaled more or less correctly.

The characters are not well developed, no real reasons are given for any choices made.  They all seem to be tropes rather than people.  I.E. loner teen, motherly teacher, etc.

The best thing I can recommend about this work is that it seems to be updated quite frequently.  Kudos to the author for writing but this should see an editor.

Ringostrauss
  • Overall Score

I am enjoying reading this webnovel despite the awkward prose and occasional grammar mistakes.  If you like the genre of this writing I think you'll find it worth your time. I look forward to seeing the author improve as time goes on.

Sagaaa
  • Overall Score

I found this one this morning, binge read it in a few hours and got perplexed at the low rating it has.

Come on guy this story it's on it's kindergarten fase, It just started and I think that all what ya'all are complaining about is good for the story.

Just here to say that this is maybe not a hidden gem but it is a hidden stash of silver.

Give it a try please.

Hacked Anonnymus
  • Overall Score

And.. Now its.. Well better, after something like 50 chapters MC wont do so many stupid actions as before, you can actually feel development and by recent chapters the story is explaining about lot of shits.

Just deal with his stupidity through first chapters and later he Will become one of the most powerful dude without emotions.