Rebirth of Abium

by Arunkumar2

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Mystery Anti-Hero Lead Dungeon LitRPG Magic Male Lead Portal Fantasy / Isekai Reincarnation Strong Lead Urban Fantasy

The boy named Abium lived as a servant in the Lawbarth noble house until 16. One day on an escort, he and other servants were left behind as scapegoats, and by some luck, he survived.

But chaos arrived in the whole Easica continent.

Demons and Devils appeared from Abyss and Hell.

Evil gods cult members slaughter everywhere.

He survived till 40 years and died in the hand of Greater Demon Kolgath

When he wakes up, he found himself traveled back in time. What choice would he make to change his future?

 

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  • Pages :
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Author
Arunkumar2

Arunkumar2

Achievements
Word Smith (IV)
I Am Ascending (IV)
Group Leader (III)
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue ago
Chapter 1 – Reborn ago
Chapter 2   - Preparations. ago
Chapter 3 - Wisdom Potion ago
Chapter 4 – Ambush ago
Chapter 5 – Survival ago
Chapter 6 - The hidden vault ago
Chapter 7 - Nyara, Goddess of Tricks ago
Chapter 8 – Elven Throne Room ago
Chapter 9 – Tower Spirit ago
Chapter 10 - Artificial Assistant ago
Chapter 11 – Unpredictable Changes ago
Chapter 12: Dark Elf ago
Chapter 13: Stone Pillar ago
Chapter 14: Surrounded (I) ago
Chapter 15: Surrounded (II) ago
Chapter 16: Escape ago
Chapter 17: Spiritual Cultivation ago
Chapter 18: Zero Tier Spell ago
Chapter 19: Assassins ago
Chapter 20: Rescue ago
Chapter 21: Slave ago
Chapter 22: Clue (I) ago
Chapter: 23 Clue (ii) ago
Chapter 24: Hemarc ago
Chapter 25: Disguise ago
Chapter 26: Long Night (I) ago
Chapter 27: Long Night (II) ago
Chapter 28: Long Night (iii) ago
Chapter 29: Long Night (IV) ago
Chapter 30: Long Night (End) ago
Chapter 31: Game (I) ago
Chapter 32: Game (II) ago
Chapter 33: Game (iii) ago
Chapter 34: Game (IV) ago
Chapter 35: Game (V) ago
Chapter 36: Game (VI) ago
Chapter 37 Game: (VII) ago
Chapter 38 Game (VIII) ago
Chapter 39: Game (IX) ago
Chapter 40: Game (X) ago
Chapter 41: Game(XI) ago
Chapter 42: Game (The End) ago
Chapter 43: Return ago
Chapter 44: Orchid Auction House. ago
Chapter 45: Reunion ago
Chapter: 46 Bidding ago
Chapter: 47 Trouble ago
Reviews

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Jetzer2232
  • Overall Score

Decent premise ruined by grammar

The only issue with your story is not just the grammar but it's a significant issue.

you need to work on syntax, order of words, past tense vs present tense, not throwing random second person third person and first person shifts etc.

I am gonna assume you are learning English as a second language to which I will congratulate you for your efforts so far but your story is incomprehensible at worst and very awkward to read at best.

Frederick Elliott Walker
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  • Style Score
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spoiler alert. This story needs a complete rewrite.

So first the biggest but most understandable issue, the grammer is terrible making the story very hard to read. English probably is not the authors first language so bad grammer is understandable but still makes the story hard to read.

Now for the style. Leaving out the first person to third person to past tense ect since that can fall under the same umbrella as the grammer. We still have the sudden vomitting og knoledge. To me it seems as soon as the author comes up with a ranking or system or back history it is just dumped on the page. now this can be good because there is a lot of info that the reader now has.

the issues are:

1. It messes with the flow of the story when it is just all thrown out at once.

2. this kind of info dumping leads to info charactor should not know, and also leads to conflicting data if author does not keep track of the information he dumps out.

3. There is such a thing as too much knowledge given. and with the bad grammer these info dumps make the story that much harder to follow.

Now on to the story where there are spoilers. First I like the died and wake up back in time and this story has an okay reason. but that is the end of the good things about the story. MC wakes up and in less than 24 hours he adapts his body to the swordman skills he knew before, doubles his mana with a self made potion. So mucles do not work that way and while it is possable for him to know how to make the potion, it is not reasonable for him to get all the materials since he is supose to be a servent that is just slightly better than a slave. Also why would he have such a good sword that just looks rusty? Then there is the over stated difficalty to get skill manuals for swordmen and mages but MC just happends to have a royal sword skill that lets him jump from lv 0 to fight monsters that a lv 3 would run from? and in a day of walking he enters this mistical magical land that in his past life no one was able to get to even with hundred man expoditions? 

My point is the story is not even believeable with magic as an excuse. it also tries to speed along instead of any building. MC goes from 0 to hero in 24 hours and is working for epic face slapping.

 

Last is character development. there is none. the MC is what ever is needed the side charactor only exist to make MC look good. there is no depth to any of the character  

Seadrake
  • Overall Score

I like the premise. Then again I always like return to the past novels. Unfortunately you really need to work on your grammar.

I'd hazard a guess that English is your second language and I applaud your bravery and tenacity. More over I think if you were to go through and read your work to yourself out loud you'd be able to pickup allot of your mistakes yourself.

Good luck to you.

mio
  • Overall Score

ok story, horrible grammar.

you need to do something about your grammar. i understand that you are likely not an native english speaker, but every other sentence is plain wrong. 

it's an achievement you could keep it halfway readable with how badly you screed up some of those sentences. and i say that as an actual compliment.

still, you need to get someone to fix up your story, asap. just find a friend or something to read it for you and fix it up a bit. or look for an editor on the froum on RRL, but i advise you to make work on it, because the story itself is worth reading.

QueTopia Mansa Musaian Thoughts
  • Overall Score

Man, I loved what this book could have been.

I couldnt get past ch 9. The grammar issue is just too significant .

Ciaina
  • Overall Score

 Or any other free grammar corrector. 

Structure, verbs, syntax, punctuation. Everything needs work.

If your language doesn't use roman letters, I could understand, but this is borderline unreadable. 

Get one of those programs, and rework everything. It will be FAR faster than what you might think, and it will help you improve. Massively. 

RandomCatch47
  • Overall Score

The story it self is great but you just need to proof read it. Your missing a lot of words that go in sentences throughout the story and that's messing it up.