A Blacksmith's Tale. A LitRPG Story

by Amurphy

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy LitRPG Male Lead Slice of Life

The world is getting overpopulated and the countries are reaching for the stars. We have achieved the technology to allow us to travel to our neighboring planets and begin a terraforming project. There has been a problem though. This issue has forced the government to look into a direction that it has never needed to before - Virtual Reality Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games. 

The government's involvement in the leading game in the market is starting to change the game itself. These new changes will change the way that the game itself works for everyone involved. 

New gamer, Aaron, has just started a character. He is hoping to earn some extra money for a family vacation doing blacksmithing. His brother has been playing this game since it launched a year ago and is leading Aaron into the game for more serious reasons than just a trip to the beach. Aaron quickly finds out that things are getting more interesting in Arella Everlasting. 

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Amurphy

Amurphy

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Tel
  • Overall Score

shooting for a literary gap

Early days yet...all of three chapters in but aiming at a rare story. People have done wasting time between stars stories, and people have done computer environments for cold sleep stories.

But we are right there in the middle of the transition.

The world building, the scene building is really top notch, and I look forward to seeing where it might go.

 

 

Beyogi
  • Overall Score

Interesting start

Pretty interesting. I mean I don't see why anyone would play that game. It's a pay to win scam turned up to 11, but the story is pretty interesting. Maybe there needs to be some more worldbuilding later in the story. (Not at the beginning since it's rather slow anyway)

Honestly curious where it'll go. I'd just recommend the author to be careful with the pacing since they're updating pretty slowly. So more isn't necessarily better.

Zhaernon
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Idea has potential, execution is... plain as can be.

The general notion of writing a VRMMO story in a setting of a dawn of space colonisation has lots of potential. It's also unusually a crafting story, or so the title claims. That's what baited me into reading it in the first place, which I honestly regret.

The story starts rather confusingly, there we are introduced to the life of some game developer and force-fed his life story up to this point in time where the setting of VRMMO for space colonisation comes up. Most of it is bog-standard to the extreme, the only important bit of the entire chapter being the mention of who acquires the VRMMO and for what purposes.

Then follows a few more chapters describing a set of completely different people, a couple of friends and their families, which are only really used to explain to the readers the EXTREMELY bog-standard rules to said VRMMO. It's really just a standard RPG stuff with a few tiny twists here and there.

And it does not seem to get any better even after enduring through the excruciatingly boring intro chapters. The actual gameplay appears to be bog-standard too. With more pointless explanations thrown into a mix.

If there was any potential in this story, the author managed to suffocate it completely with unnecessary explanations and no actually interesting things happening.

Advice for the author - Not everything needs to be explained, show don't tell, no need for overexplaining simple things, no need for explaining ALL of the options and their specifics. You're writing a story, not a character log with additional schematics and calculations for what they're gonna do. 

TL;DR

The VRMMO in the novel is so standard you would be much more likely to be entertained by reading raw player logs of any random MMORPG out there. 

Nothing indicates it's ever gonna change either.

Style is standard, grammar okay, story had potential but it ended at the background setting (as of 11 chapters out), characters are somewhat likeable at least but barely do anything outside of explaining basic things.