Eldritch Rebirth

by Dawod Dawod

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Sci-fi Anti-Hero Lead High Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Mythos Non-Human lead Portal Fantasy / Isekai Strong Lead Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Follow our mc as he dies and gets reincarnated into another world, but unlike your average isekai, his reincarnation goes awry in an unexpected, eldritch way. Now he is in a new world far unlike our own, and with the body of a weak eldritch abomination, but still has the mind of his human self. He must now use his strange new abilities to gain power, potentially start an occult following, and most importantly; ascend above all those around him.

P.S: This story has purposely not been tagged as a horror, and more so uses the aesthetics of that genre more than anything else.

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Dawod Dawod

Dawod Dawod

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some_total_kretin
  • Overall Score

This novel is like the French revolution. The idea is great, but the executions?

TL;DR: Read it for yourself. I might not read this one because it just does not work for me, but I don't think it is bad per se. The idea is very cool, there are just some things that turn me off...They might not seem like that to you. There are apparently people who enjoy this fiction, I'm just not one of them.

I have read and reread the first chapter again, because I think I mistook some of the issues I have with your fiction with some other fiction I read yesterday.

The cliche at the start of the novel is strong with this one and not in a good way. The thing is there are dialogs and you are showing more then telling, but the execution of the story just seems juvenile. The MC is depressed, but also immature. His reactions feel flat and uninteresting to me.

It just feels like you're making him go through the standard MC saves someone and is reincarnated just so he had a backstory. For no other reason. And with the more then even bearably bad cliche reincarnation dialogue done in a way where the deity talks at him and he just stares and then selects something

This is more of a personal gripe, but THE ELDRICHT EXTRADIMENSIONAL HORRORS ARE NOT TRICKSTER GODS! Why on earth are you making the one who reincarnates him seem like one?

I did not think I would ever write that, but I think your story would be better is the backstory would be shorter and hisdead not so contrived. And the reincarnation dialogue. It felt absolutely unneeded. It seem to do frack all in the great scheme of things and seems to just be there because every bad isekai has it.

If the better isekai novels have the "reincarnation dialogue", it is there for it to either have a meaning in great scheme of things (to give more options, introduce a plotline or to liven up the things happening with comedy). Your dialogue during the reincarnation seems cagy as frack. But you wrote ma and said it is there for a reason, so I'm going to give you a benefit of a doubt. :)

ronrironin
  • Overall Score

Got to the rank up/evolution, around 40 chapters in, realized I was bored. While the MC is a being of indescribable horror in a universe of Old Ones hanging around, the play-by-plays of the story comes off as "and then I did this, and then I did this." Twice is an Elder Being Of Insanity shown and described and I never felt any moment of awe, terror or aetheric scope.

I will admit, if the story advertised itself as something else, I might have liked it more. Nothing wrong with Non-Human litRPGs, a guilty pleasure of mine, wish there were more of them out there worth reading. But I came into this one expecting insanity and cults (did get some of that, just not enough, maybe if the story got enough steam to put something together) and the knowledge that nothing you could do mattered. Instead, we get an MC who is as interesting as toast and prose as fascinating as taxes.

This story might get better later, but it isn't interesting now, which is a shame.

Stephen Lewis
  • Overall Score

Early review: Looks promising

Ch 6 

I love the premise reads fairly easy I cant wait for more 

Few if any errors (at least I did not notice any)

Not enough content yet but this looks like it will be fun

Edit book one finish

This was a good read I dont remember anything annoying 

Tldr: I enjoyed it. It's worth a try

Nerocarson
  • Overall Score

really looking forward to more! Don't think i've read a good elritch story yet and it'll be interesting to see what happens

Dacraun
  • Overall Score

You had me at eldritch.

10/10 would consume the souls of the weakminded again. 

Grayshade
  • Overall Score

Very interesting so far. I hope you don't get caught up with too many skills like other "LitRPG" stories and then have to deal with that. Keep them few and simple, and don't lose focus. 

Jamerax
  • Overall Score

Potential to be good

Slow start but once the ball gets going it draws you in. Has nearly infinite potential so far and not a lot of stories use an elderich entity as a main character on this site. I always did like the godly character concept but a lot of the time it never goes anywhere because how do you challenge a godly character? Well this story answers that question in a rather unique way I think. 

meerschaum
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This is fun. It manages to stand out from the standard portal fantasy LitRPG non-human protagonist with village builder elements. I'm waiting to see the more unique plot elements develop - I've seen many of the plot elements many times - it's hitting all the stations of the cross for isekai and litrpg but it shows promise.

apaulose
  • Overall Score

Interesting Premise, Decent Writing, Somewhat Weak Characters

It's an interesting premise but not really an easy one to implement. Eldritch abominations have a reputation for being both overwhelmingly powerful and impossible to understand. As a result it sort of seems like the author of this story feels obligated to constantly jump sharks in order to keep with that theme. The writing is above average compared to the other isekai fics I've seen on this site but it doesn't really feel like the plot of the story was planned out beforehand.

 

Spoiler

I have to admit that I really don't like the direction this fic is currently going in. I don't mind an mc that wants to rule the multiverse but I just really hate the concept of having the main character go crazy in order to move the plot forward. It feels like a really lazy way to avoid having to write character development. It's especially bad when your story doesn't actually have any real secondary characters. In this case the insanity could potentially be temporary but that doesn't really make it better. Anyway that's just my opinion. Don't let it stop you from going in whatever direction you have planned.

Jack Blank
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9/10 Would would worship again

Edward the Abomination is a genuine pleasure to watch develop.

 

This story has potential, in lots of promising ways. I honestly can't wait to watch Edward develop and see the true might of an Eldritch Abomination.