Magitech Awakenings

by Nightdrift

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Drama Fantasy Female Lead High Fantasy Magic Multiple Lead Characters Non-Human lead Steampunk Strategy Strong Lead

In this world of Terrapia, myth states that Dragons are caretakers of the chaos wheel, a band of energy that encircles the world, penetrating through the very fabric of the dimension.

They tame and convert it, not only to fuel their primal magic, but also to gentler forms that man and beast alike can tap. 

But now they have faded away, being sighted less and less the past couple millennia.

With magic weakening, science has taken root and in many cases merged in a symbiosis with magic.

Guppy Bright, a 17 year old young woman, is a technomancer apprentice living in the bustling city of Nolusburg trying to make ends meet. 

Apprenticed to the enigmatic and somewhat crazy Technomancer Friedrich BrassTuner, she participates in an experiment meant to tap a new rich source of energy. 

However something goes horribly wrong and a rip in the very fabric of reality opens in the workshop, sucking in her mentor and ejecting a dying white dragon. 

The dragon, after examining her, takes a gamble and entwines their souls, an act that causes the dragon, Barthurthalomalew Dresnarian Kratomanger Harrowhew Objuslorow, the 5th, aka Batty, to regress into a baby dragon, sealing much of his powers and memories in the process. 

This act also has profound effects on Guppy, her own magic is now crazily changed in ways no one, least of all her, understands. 

Guppy is suddenly plunged into a world of mystery, intrigue and politics, where everyone either wants to control, or eliminate her. 

Armed with little but her courage and unpredictable newfound magic how will she survive and protect herself and those she loves when everyone from techno radicals, magic purists, politicians and guttersnipes are out to get her. 

And those may be the least of her problems if Batty's fragmented memories are any indicator.

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Nightdrift

Nightdrift

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Corscientia
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An interesting and original premise is a good sign that a novel will be decent.

If you pair that with a believable and relatable cast of characters it points to the novel being good.

Add a well thought out world with logical cause and effects gives a novel potential to be great.

I would say this novel has all of these traits.

However potential is still potential. The grammar has no glaring mistakes, however some word choices seem questionable.

Plue even though the world building is superb the methodoof its delivery is not. I.e. To much exposition...

In conclusion some might think I'm nitpicking. However I feel this novel genuinely has the potential to be great and hopes it realises it.

Dradixx
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Pretty good start

Having now read up to chapter 15, I'm editing the review with my latest thoughts.

TLDR, give it a try, you'll get hooked

 

  1. At chapter 4 its off to a pretty good start. Nothing to say about grammar. I didn't see any fault. 5/5 -- Same as of chapter 15.
  2. Style wise its pretty good. The phrasing isn't too simple although I do usually like it a bit more researched. Maybe also a bit more description, of the surroundings for example. 4.25/5 -- This actually gets much better latter in the story: 5/5, nothing else to say.
  3. Story is interesting and original. The narrative goes back and forth in time but does it in an way that's easy to understand. At chapter 4 the world is still being built so I can't talk about the story's triggering event -- But at chapter 15 I can, and boy does it start with a boom.
  4. The characters are believable until now. They actually feel a bit too normal (except one). Usually MC's have a trait that's overly exagerated, but not here, or at least not at the moment. 4.5/5 -- At chapter 15, characters got some depth, although the MC sometimes doesn't think very far ahead, but I'll cut her some slack, she's only a kid.... which actually makes it more believable.

In summary, a pretty very good story which I will definitely follow. It deserves a good 5/5! Thanks and keep the good work up! 

Zethuron
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Nice story with some problems

This was a nice read, enjoyed reading about Guppy and her adventures, even if so short so far.

Characters are well done, not exaggerated, but nothing expectional in the end, im liking them however.

Well thought out world, with an sort of extensive backstory that has been carefully planned. Good races with their own quirks and cultures. I feel like it could still be done beter, but its early in the story and theres so much more that could be shown.

The plot so far has been sort of original, but nothing expectional, im still interested in how it will develop, could still become a good and fun one.

This story however has some problems.

First is grammar, overall that has been fine, but the flaws do show at time, the spelling used in this story is very good, with only a couple of small mistakes. However puncuation is a problem in this story along with usage of capitalization to a lesser degree. This may seem problematic, but its sort of easy to fix with a big editing round. But then theres the issue of wording used in this story, and thats going to require a lot of effort to fix.

The style used in this story is sort of problematic in some ways. Overall its fine, the author has a good gasp on pacing, can strike a balance between story elements, but i feel like worldbuilding could be handled better than it currently is. The problem here is that there are messed up paragraphs throughout the story, especially in relation to dialogues. This is related to the earlier noted puncuation problem.

If those flaws are fixed, this could actually be a great story. It currently has a lot of promise, and i hope the author can capitalize on that promise.

Good story for those who are interested in a new Fantasy one to read, even if it doenst have to be excellent.