The Black Knight of the Demon King

by Revan The Edgelord

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Romance Anti-Hero Lead Male Lead Portal Fantasy / Isekai Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

I was once like everyone else. I had a family, went to school, played sports, and had a decent amount of friends, but then one day that all changed. What was the thing that had happened to me you might ask? Well, in short, I was abducted, but if we're being technical, what actually happened was me being summoned to this world called Atalan. However, I wasn't summoned as a hero or this great sage or a wizard or any of that stuff. No, I, Donovan Rutherford, had been transported to this world to be the one and only Black Knight of the Demon King and to defeat the Hero and his companions.

(The Cover Photo is from DnD, aka Dungeons and Dragons, which isn't something I own. Well, I own one of the boardgames, but you all know what I mean. Anyways, like my other story I consider it more of a 2D world, but that's just me.)

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Revan The Edgelord

Revan The Edgelord

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Breelik
  • Overall Score

Average story (could be so much more)

At this time the story is pretty good given there are flaws in the plot and character motives ,but I have found that the author is inexperienced as he states and for that its a really good story. He really needs to work on more clearly explaining a characters motive or getting across certain points. As well as fleshing out descriptions of what is happening around the characters.

Really to sum it up is the story has a lot of potential and is written with an average rating at best , but with work on adding in substance and description it would amount to probably one of the top 10 stories on this site. Also remember to show and not tell advice. I know it seems a bit intangible ,but really think about it for example.

perhaps you want to convey a girl entering a place ratty place filled with cigarette smoke. Rather just saying she enters the dingy apartment and as she wonders through she finds it distasteful.

 

You could write.

 

you can use her senses to show the readers that emotion. For example: writing with showing like this “The faint scent of stale cigarette smoke met her nostrils, pulling her face into a familiar grimace.” allows your readers to understand that she finds where she is distasteful, without having to just say so.

 

Try to think like this and it will be hard to do so at first ,but when you get the hang of it your writing will be leaps and bounds better for it from this alone.

LordGrayKnight
  • Overall Score
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For those of you who are like me and check the comments before reading to find out if a story is shit or good and hate reading when there are no reviews this review is for you.

 

The title, description, and writer name may sound off putting but it is actually a good read that deserves it's 4.5 rating as of the chapter titled "The journey to the Dwarven Empire".

 

Mistake are rare but once you see them it's impossible to not see them and some sentences sound really off and confusing from how they are written out but as I said they are rare but get stuck in your head once noticed.

2_L33T_2_LIFT
  • Overall Score
Spoiler: Spoiler

 

 

Spoiler: Spoiler

 The whole hero vs black knight thing is dumb he nows them and is friends with some but doesn't introduced himself or tell them that he isn't evil he plays into being the villain for no reason  

 

LVL. 1 SUBSIDY
  • Overall Score

I like the story. No in-depth review. I just prefer these kind of storylines and am biased to it when it comes to fantasy(isekai) 

filler filler filler

Artichoke
  • Overall Score

Hey that’s pretty good

uh how else am I supposed to get 50 characters?

SauceGodPluto
  • Overall Score

originally came here because it was a good book but then I was reading your alarm ga kill book on fanfic and saw the latest chapter and I was like wtf their both the same person and tripped out good book tho