One in the Chamber [Discontinued]

One in the Chamber [Discontinued]

by A s h e s

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Isaac is a child of a United States General in a time of Massive resource wars, but it all goes wrong when the mainland is attacked from foreign powers and domestic powers. In the end, nuclear bombs wipe away the land, and Isaac is thrown into a different world through a magical rift. Now he must survive using his weapons, and magical store, in a world rife with war and monsters. 

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  • Pages :
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Author
A s h e s

A s h e s

KayBayKee

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
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Spleenslitta
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Grammar - is good enough for me not to remember any flaws.

Story - Why would the enemy nuke territory they have soldiers inside? But other than that i like what i have read so far.

Style - Combat with firearms has the vulnerability that there are only so many ways to describe a gun going off. My tip to the author is to describe more about hit locations and possibly what happens to the target.

Character - The main character is a kid but he is too mature for his age, but i can understand why he is -

1- He was raised by a career soldier so he is slightly toughened up in comparison to the average kid.

2 - You don't wanna have a crybaby MC who cannot do anything.

Last two things to say. The MC is a kid with a small build and probably small hands, so a doublestack 9mm pistol makes for an unwieldy gun for him to grasp. But that is nitpicking.

My final comment is "Keep at it because i wanna read more."