Misadventures of a Rampaging Demon

by Spectacular

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Anti-Hero Lead Female Lead High Fantasy Magic Multiple Lead Characters Non-Human lead Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

In a remote magical laboratory, buried deep beneath the earth, an unspeakable demonic horror is brought into the world…

Her name is Lilizath VekxZ’Kraugh (Lily for short). She enjoys cuddling, stargazing, and devouring the torn apart bodies of her enemies. The demon girl rampages across a fantasy world, satisfying her demonic urges while making friends with various terrified humans.

Meanwhile, an honest young lady leaves her peaceful life behind to embrace her destiny as the chosen one. Things go horribly wrong almost immediately and a random act of violence spares her from a very unpleasant evening.

Mature Content Warning: Contains gratuitous scenes of sex, violence, and violent sex. This story is not appropriate for younger readers, older readers, or anyone else, for that matter.

Author’s Note: This is my first attempt at publishing something I’ve written online. I’d love some feedback. Feel free to comment and let me know what you think of it and offer suggestions or criticisms.

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Spectacular

Spectacular

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DierBloodRose
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Holy shit this was awesome. I do sincerely hope you continue the story and continue to do a great job because this is fucking awesome. Well the other thing I got to say is update more please!😋

tornadoskull
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I love Tanya as a character. Same with Lily. 5 Stars for you.

TechPriest
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Lots of Laugh out loud moments - 10/10

Reviewed at: 21 - Exposition and Music

Unique MC - very endearing but also capable and interesting.

Im looking forward to more of this

FlerpDooseMish
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A must read with some glaring flaws

Reviewed at: 25 - Befield Invasion III

Review as of chapter 25

This review contains spoilers, so readers BE WARNED!

Let me first say that this is a good story. A VERY good story. I will be mostly covering what I found to be lacking, so here goes nothing.

 

The main problem I have is that this story lacks polish.

The technical parts of the story are very good, there are next to no grammar mistakes, if at all, and the writing style is very professional. But holy shit does it lack direction at times.

The start of the story is very interesting. We're introduced to the main character, Lily, her situation, etc. Very nice beginning that gives us a taste of what's to come (that is, violence and some sexy stuff). We're also given a "power ceiling" of sorts, as we got to know just how strong the strongest Archfiend is, which is also nice.

Lily meets Amelia, kills bandits, etc. So far, the story's amazing! The problems start occuring when they meet the Montagne family.

The entire family's bland as fuck. Seriously. How many lines of dialogue do we get from them? Like 3 in total. We know next to nothing about them, and we also know next to nothing about Danica. Basically all of the side characters are so bland I can barely remember their names, and the only reason I kind of remember some of their names is because there's so few.

Seriously, there's like 6 secondary characters total, and only two (Tanya and Patricia) are developped. The others have next to no screentime.

Another thing that really bothered me was the whole Witchfire fireball ordeal. It was really abrupt and came out of left field. I know killing off characters is one way to move the plot forward, but at least take the time to develop said characters that are to be killed off so the readers will actually care about them. Killing them off like that literally made me go "oh shit everyone's dead now... eh" because we barely got to know said characters.

The whole fireball ordeal felt as though the author was initially going one idea, stopped midway through, threw that idea out of the window and began with something completely new and decided to wrap up the other characters by killing them all.

Before I forget, I'd say the chapter Befield Invasion III is one of my favorite, yet also my most disliked chapter in this series. I had to suspend a ton of disbelief just to go through this chapter. I mean, seriously? A 21/22 year old swordswoman from some shoddy village with no professional training is able to leave NO OPENINGS against the Vampire Matriarch, one of the eldest of her kind, in basically a 1v1? I'd expect the vampire to at least be a challenge, but holy shit. This is on par with (SPOILERS FOR GAME OF THRONES) Arya Stark killing the Night King by shanking him in the stomach. Seriously. This vampire is implied to be on par with an archmage, but this chapter made her seem like a minor boss battle that you fight to grind EXP in games.

Alright, ranting aside, all in all I have to say once again this is a very good story. Basically everything else is extremely well done, but as I said before, this story lacks polish, like an uncut diamond. Worth a lot of money, but will be worth more and will look a lot better if it were cut and polished.

Lilium Amans
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 I like the story, the main character is well represented, follows her instincts as a good demon (I understand that she is fine with humans and other speaking races as long as they do not attack her since the human being is a mixture of the 7 deadly sins and the 10/7 virtues? (I don't remember how many they were), and she has the anger that is fundamental in the human being to give some a purpose, the sucubo part of it keeps in control of the anger since this is in a certain sense more friendly to humans, in addition to the other parts of its lineage, it slightly counteracts the others making it more human (a word I don't like to use in fantasy stories).

Sorry if you read weird, is that English is not my mother tongue or father.

Dotakiin
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Overview: This is one of the best stories I have read this summer. I have read a lot of stories this summer. Once I started reading, I finished before realizing it was 5am and I lost my chance for sleep.

Style: The POV switches are all to characters whose viewpoint matter to the reader, and none of them take the focus away from the main character for too long.

Story: Just 22 chapters in, the shadows of at least 2 conspiracies can be found, introduced in a natural way as the MC and retinue move through the world. Conflics between allies are shown from both perspectives, which I like.

Grammer: I have not noticed any spelling or grammar errors while reading that are major enough to remember after a day. 

Character: So far, there are 3 characters that I adore, with another nearing the end of her trial perdiod. Important characters are fleshed out as the story progresses, and no one present for more than a chapter or two without growing or showing more depth.

BloodElemental
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Please dont stop writing

I hope this story continues for a while and not be dropped like the many promising 20chapter stories that plague this site

That being said, this is an amazing story

Kikanolo
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Entertaining Demon Adventure Story

Reviewed at: 22 - Trying New Things

Misadventures of a Rampaging Demon is a very well-written adventure about a very entertaining demon character. 

The premise of the story is that a demoness created as a weapon in a magical lab as a hybrid of multiple types of demons escapes and adventures around, meeting people and killing things. The story follows both the demon and a human priestess and her companions.  

The story has been very good so far, with the characters being very well established, with clear depth and lots of room to develop. Lily is the best developed character, having a unique personality as a result of the smorgasbord of demon heritages she is composed of. The author does a very good job of showing through her thoughts that she is clearly not human and has an appropriate morality and approach to matters based on that. The human characters are also very well done, being intelligent but naive individuals who become aware of their flaws through story and stary working to correct them.

The style of the story is very fun to read, largely since Lily is so entertaining to follow. The pacing of the story is good and the author has struck a good balance between POVs so far. 

The plot has been organically developing in the background of Lily exploring and learning about the world while largely doing whatever suits her whims at a given moment, but it looks very promising. A number of interesting plot threads have been set up, and I look forward to seeing how they progress and how the main characters get involved.

I strongly recommend this story.

(As of Chapter 22)

Banks94
  • Overall Score

This shit is the best

I was initially deterred by the low amount of chappys but trust me it's worth it. If you're into cute demon girls who want nothing more then to live their life peacefully with friends, while occasionally murdering and eating people then this story is for you. Meet Lily, an adorable mish-mash of different demons created by some dickhead to be a human weapon. She's mostly a mix of archfiend and succubus, so she loves a good fight and if she figures out what sex is, a good lay. The last little part is a bit of a gluttony demon so the girl can really eat...people. Anyway, she is a very likeable murder machine and not to slutty, so if sex deters you in stories like this I urge you to give it a shot because it's not to in your face and as of yet (15 chappys) it's very very little. 

Nyx Wylde
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All That And A Bag Of Chips

Reviewed at: 4 - The Chosen One

Story Score: 5/5

Take a real story that would be interesting enough to overcome lousy writing and flat characters... and combine it with excellent writing and fantastic characters.

It's dark, but not grimdark, and that makes all the difference. Some moments are heartbreaking, others are funny. In fact, I laughed so hard I woke up my wife at two am - while we were on vacation.

 

Style & Grammar Score: 5/5

Exceptionally well done, from grammar to character voices, it feels like a professionally written book.

 

Character Score: 5/5

It does a fantastic job of avoiding everything I dislike about the "Born Sexy Yesterday" trope. Lily is sexy, and she was born yesterday, but she isn't here to be the reader's fantasy girlfriend. She doesn't need a mentor figure to guide her like Leeloo from The Fith Element.

Lily is deadly and self-motivated from the start... even as she names a monster 'big-grey-fur-growl-bites.'

She doesn't straddle the line between being a terrifying murder monster and a cute young woman. She happily jumps back and forth anytime she desires.

I absolutely love her character.

She's perfect!

 

Overall: 5/5