Misadventures of a Rampaging Demon
- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
In a remote magical laboratory, buried deep beneath the earth, an unspeakable demonic horror is brought into the world…
Her name is Lilizath VekxZ’Kraugh (Lily for short). She enjoys cuddling, stargazing, and devouring the torn apart bodies of her enemies. The demon girl rampages across a fantasy world, satisfying her demonic urges while making friends with various terrified humans.
Meanwhile, an honest young lady leaves her peaceful life behind to embrace her destiny as the chosen one. Things go horribly wrong almost immediately and a random act of violence spares her from a very unpleasant evening.
Mature Content Warning: Contains gratuitous scenes of sex, violence, and violent sex. This story is not appropriate for younger readers, older readers, or anyone else, for that matter.
Author’s Note: This is my first attempt at publishing something I’ve written online. I’d love some feedback. Feel free to comment and let me know what you think of it and offer suggestions or criticisms.
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Can I give this story a six star rating? I'm always looking forward to another update. The world is well built and it doesn't feel like the stories that dig a pit in their plot just to have the walls cave in.
The characters in this story are all thought out beforehand and are a joy to learn about. They also fit very nicely together. There are very few things that keep me from giving the full 5 stars on this. I may even come back to update this score after some more of the side characters get fleshed out. Right now though the main character I can only sing praises about how well they are done as a true monster, while also being curious enough to stargaze. Very few authors are able to achieve such a believable main character, especially when they are non-human.
The style of this story has been excellent so far. The pov switches always hit the spot, giving the reader an outside view on the main character. They are never overdone, or overstay their welcome.
I am not very good at grammar, or spelling, but I am confident enough to say that this story has very very few mishaps with it and it doesn't draw the reader away. Plus the author is likely to fix mistakes because they are very active in the comments.
This will probably be one of my favorites that every once in a while I just have to come back to reread, which I have already done so many times for this story.
Only five chapters in, but this story is off to a very promising beginning. The setting and characters are interesting and already have depth. The non-human pov is also very well done here. I didn't notice any spelling or grammar mistakes, and the story overall feels well thought out and polished. Don't pass this story by, I hope the author continues this well into the future.
Well written, perfectly balanced between lighthearted and shockingly direct.
Protagonist is an adorable machine of death and carnage that walks between a cat and something born of the nightmares of the doomslayer.
Brutal,sweet, funny, gory, silly, heavy and light.
What do you get you ask? Well, add a bit of chemical X, and you get a powerpuff girl. But how about changing those above for something more dark... Oh, no spoiler there friends...
This story is a must read to find that, but if you want to know more before reading, without spoilers obviously... Read the adv rev below.
Grammar: Very good, with little errors which are corrected by helpful readers and a dedicated and spectacular author. 5
Style: Demonic. It will catch you with its claws and force you to stare at the lustful illusion of a monster in disguise. 5
Story: This is a story with an interesting plot, its really entertaining as it ganders the curiosity of its reader with a malevolous snare. 4.5 if we are strict as there are some mild science points which are not perfect, but the author takes good care of them so that most readers can evade them. Even if megamind or a scientist read this, they would find that the author can reply to your question with an interesting answer.
Characters: Well I think the title of my review tells it. There is good characterization. I mean, a story with such forcefull interactions will get you intimate and understand the characters.
Read, but beware of the claws, no one wants to be a kill human in front of such 'prototype' game the author created.
What a blast this has been so far!
The part i like the most are the characters. The author deserves some applause for the great characters he created in this story, while Lily may be by far the best written character here, the other characters arent that far behind in how well they are written or how much i like each of them. And i seriously mean it with the characters being well written, they feel real, are complex characters with emotions, they change throughout the events of the story, even if the story is sort of short so far.
Lily is just amazingly done, being a true monster, that is a danger to all, and that does show each time you read about her, from either her viewpoint, or somebody's else. Yet she is also someone that wants to be with others, to simply enjoy, discover new things in life, all of this makes up the great character thats Lily, she alone is reason enough to start reading this story.
Overall just a well built world like you would see in many other Fantasy stories, but nothing expectional. But to be fair, one of the better done things here, is how the author has done the demons here, while they are just like your standard Fantasy demons from hell, they are overall very well written, with each demon behaving in-character with the Sins they represent, Lily being sort of the oddball there, but also still being influenced by her base desires.
Grammar is good, i coulnt spot any kind of mistakes myself, and i can assume most readers will not have any problems either with the grammar and spelling used in this story.
Good writing overall for this story, the multiple povs in this story are excuted well, with the author having gotten a good balance between the viewpoints of the different characters. Good pacing so far, not slow at all, sort of fast which fits for this story. The author has a good grasp on his writing, and has written a good prose for this story, one can keep reading without getting bored at all.
Just some content warnings, it should be already clear from the synopis, but this is seriously NOT a story for those who dont like extreme content, so if you do not want to read that, avoid this story.
I hope to read more, so far the plot has been short, and i want the author to correct that already (and not drop it). So yeah, fully recommended to read this, if you want to read about a MC acting like a Monster, while also being able to interact with humans.
I didn't think I'd be this invested in the growth of a demon, but here I am.
This is the start of a pretty good story and I really just want to read more of it. The main character, Lily, is great. She's so precious sometimes and I love it. There's some good humor in here, too.
Also, it's really well written. I like it a lot, and even if it's probably to early for a 5 star... Here it is.
I like the story, the main character is well represented, follows her instincts as a good demon (I understand that she is fine with humans and other speaking races as long as they do not attack her since the human being is a mixture of the 7 deadly sins and the 10/7 virtues? (I don't remember how many they were), and she has the anger that is fundamental in the human being to give some a purpose, the sucubo part of it keeps in control of the anger since this is in a certain sense more friendly to humans, in addition to the other parts of its lineage, it slightly counteracts the others making it more human (a word I don't like to use in fantasy stories).
Sorry if you read weird, is that English is not my mother tongue or father.
This is in my top three favourite stories of all time already and it's only chapter 18. I'm not great at constructive criticism but I'm sure when and if the author makes a mistake others will point it out. He seems really good about reading comments and making up his own mind about whether or not to change his story.
Even though I'm frustrated, sad and angry at a certain stupid event...
I love it
Mistakes need to be made, characters need to have flaws and conflict must arise The solution is only as sweet as the problem is bitter.
Good look, pace yourself (author and reader alike) and all the best for the future.
Holy shit this was awesome. I do sincerely hope you continue the story and continue to do a great job because this is fucking awesome. Well the other thing I got to say is update more please!😋
TL;DR: Great start leading you to believe this is a slice-of-life-ish story about a demon and her companions. It's funny, but also lighthearted and manages to keep its gore. And then comes chapter 13 and everything goes to hell in a handbasket absolutelly our of nowhere.
What is going on with you, MoaRD?
Did you remember the old garfield show cartoons, where there were the sketches with the farm charaters? One of the sketches was always a character that narrates a bedtime story for the young ones and the young ones always get bored and twist it with ridiculous changes?
I'm asking because the story starts as quite nicely. We're slowly introduced to everyrthing that is going on and learn with our socially challenged demoness with a smidgen of catlike behavior. And then in the middle of it all comes chapter 13.
It's like a supposed storyteller was all along telling us the story while distracting us from his frantic search for a pipe. Pipe which he found in chapter 13, propmtly took a great big hit of crystal meth, waited for it to take effect and then shouted "BOOOOAAAARD NOW!!!", stripped his clothes and started swinging his willy in a circle while simultaneously pissing all about himself.
It's the only explanation I have for the story to go:
"Oh F*** it! There's a letter from a dragon who is also a chosen of fate, who sent it in the past because he knew you're gonna be here. And now there's meteor that killed part of your party and the messenger."
"And here's the corpse of brontosaurus who died of flautulence, we're gonna call it PREDESTINED PROPHECY SAYING YOU MUST NOW SAVE THE WORLD. And I've also changed tone. Now I'm somber. HAPPY?!"
That's when I stopped. It's honestly jarring and immersion breaking. Why have you changed the tone like that? All of the chapters before the brontosaurus corpse were winding up to an arc about travel and more evenly paced, if gory, worldbuilding with a whiff of lighthearted tone.
Instead of that, we're given this stinking pile of ....dead brontosaurus who died of flautulence.