Forgotten Dungeon

by maheusz

Original ONGOING Adventure Comedy Fantasy Dungeon Grimdark LitRPG Low Fantasy Magic Non-Human lead Post Apocalyptic Reincarnation
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Death comes quickly and without warning. Even for such little personage as him.

It's quite hard to start as dungeon core. Quite harder when divine bureaucracy simply dumps you in the a** end of nowhere because of their incompetence and because of your agent status as a Fallen Angel.

Yet Uno (temporary name) is used to working with subpar materials and making the best of circumstances. It doesn't help that his personality was cut down to size, but he tries to overcome the system with ingenuity and a healthy dose of duct tape. Or the local equivalent of such.

***

Hello people! It's a story about a dungeon. Or maybe the dungeon? Who knows. Dumped in a hostile world, working hard to overcome circumstances. There is an RPG system in place, but I'll try to make it not number-heavy. I would be more focused on skills - at least from the perspective of the sentient races. Dungeons will have their own little playground.

I'll try to make MC not overpowered - it always irks me how the stories tend to go from zero to hero in a few minutes. I hope y'all will enjoy the ride!

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Zethuron
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Great start to an interesting dungeon story

Im already liking the story so far, one of the reasons is because its a dungeon story with interesting twists to the usual dungeon trope. Its basically a rough gem that needs some polishing to be actually good.

The MC one day dies, forgotten by others until people got worried and his dead body goes get found, yet he was waiting the whole time as a spirit, forgotten by the heavens due to incompetence, until someone noted that there was a mistake and comes to correct it, there the MC accepts a offer to be reincarnated in another world as a dungeon core, just that some important details were left untold.

He is reincarnated to a world on the way to destruction, the majority of the gods gave up on trying to even save it and left, yet there are some remaining who want to save the world, even if they have to use souls from other worlds.

There he is, in a dangerous place, as a lone dungeon core with no guidance at all, there he slowly builds up while learning about the world and the system, with going in odd directions never seen before on that world, creating things that would be seen as insane experiments that should have never been made. To slowly save the world, despite him having no idea how to achieve that in the first place.

 

The MC is basically the best part about this story, he is a genius and fits perfectly as a dungeon core, i am liking his personality and the way he acts.

Great story, the author went in creative directions with the dungeon setup here.  His monsters are all quite unique, not simply being templates, but designed and built directly by the dungeon core as functioning monsters, they are basically some kind of magical cyborgs, which is a development i do really like. Its very hard to go fully unique with dungeon stories, but the author has done a great job at making a story that does it different.

Yet the story is not only about the MC, but about the world as a whole, and how it changes due to his existence.

Overall decent grammar, but i feel like this story could use good editing, there are many flaws that i cant exactly point out, but they do exist and hinder the reading of this story. Its like the writing style as a whole is somewhat flawed, with the author forgetting to use sentence structures like 'a' , 'the' and the likes.

So i hope the author will do the editing, to make this story even better to read than it currently is, though to be fair, the author is already doing more effort at grammar in the newer chapters.

One of the problems i had with this story, has now been fixed with the author changing all dialogue indicators from '-' to ' " '. Its good the author is willing to listen to feedback.

 

As said, a rough gem, that could be a great story with editing. Anyone interested in reading a creative dungeon story is certainly recommend to start reading this story.

orandel garnett
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It's a good story about a guy reborn as a dungeon making cyborg monster's with an orignal  world  premise that i haven't seen so far in other novels.

i look forward to seeing what happens from now on

Thrasher92
  • Overall Score

I'm a big fan of Dungeon Core novels and this is set up to be a good one. Creative use of new elements, political tensions, and bickering gods appear to make it interesting. Looking forward to more chapters!