Can a holy hero be born from such a person?

by Azumiazmee94

Its a story about a young man name Azumi with her master Princess Alfin living in a fantasy world, can they fight off againts the oppression from various noble, chruch and sometime even their supporters?

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Azumiazmee94

Azumiazmee94

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20 Comments
100 Followers
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Word Count (15)
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Introduction ago
Chapter 2: Princess Alfin ago
Chapter 3: magic ago
Chapter 4: omen ago
Chapter 5: Azumi vs "raja" orc ago
Chapter 6: Captain Aurora ago
Chapter 7: Investigation and plan ago
Chapter 8: Mrs Usagina ago
Chapter 9: Alfin School ago
Chapter 10: Azumi vs Guz ago
Chapter 11: Azumi vs Guz's party ago
Chapter 12: Adventure guild ago
Chapter 13: Kucin ago
Chapter 14: Holy Hero ago
Chapter 15: Alfin dungeon ago
Chapter 16: Dungeon exploring part 1 ago
Chapter 17: Dungeon exploring part 2 ago
Chapter 18: Dungeon exploring part 3 ago
Chapter 19: Dungeon exploring part 4 ago
Chapter 20: Dungeon exploring part 5 ago
Chapter 21: Dungeon exploring part 6 ago
Chapter 23: Bumi ago
Chapter 24: System I ago
Chapter 25: Magic core and magic stone ago
Chapter 26: Mr Fei ago
Chapter 27: Making an A grade magic core ago
Chapter 28: Slave merchant ago
Chapter 29: Departure ago
Chapter 30: Confronting the slave merchant part 1 ago
Chapter 31: Confronting the slave merchant part 2 ago
Chapter 32: confronting the slave merchant part 3 ago
Chapter 33: Music and Magic ago
Chapter 34: That night ago
Chapter 35: Resolution ago
Chapter 36: Mesembryanthemum ago
Chapter 37: Duke Hiaccio ago
Chapter 38: Mrs Kirthiga ago
Chapter 39: The three group ago
Chapter 40: Duke Hiaccio family ago
Chapter 41: Splitting up ago
Chapter 42: The third group activity part 1 ago
Chapter 43: The third group activity part 2 ago
Chapter 44: The third group activity part 3 ago
Chapter 45: The third group activity part 4 ago
Chapter 46: The second group activity part 1 ago
Chapter 47: The second group activity part 2 ago
Chapter 48: The second group activity part 3 ago
Chapter 49: The second group activity part 4 ago
Chapter 50: The first group activity part 1 ago
Chapter 51: The first group activity part 2 ago
Chapter 52: The first group activity part 3 ago
Chapter 53: The first group activity part 4 ago
Chapter 54: Gathering once more ago
Chapter 55: Mile's ability ago
Chapter 56: Bangkit ago
Chapter 57: Noble home visit part 1 ago
Chapter 58: Noble home visit part 2 ago
Chapter 59: Noble home visit part 3 ago
Chapter 60: Noble home visit part 4 ago
Chapter 61: Regarding Mile's future ago
Chapter 62: Duke Hiaccio first son ago
Chapter 63: Operation Mesembryanthemum cleansing ago
Chapter 64: New group ago
Chapter 65: First day of the cleansing operation part 1 ago
Chapter 66: First day of the cleansing operation part 2 ago
Chapter 67: First day of the cleansing operation part 3 ago
Chapter 68: First day of the cleansing operation part 4 ago
Chapter 69: First day of cleansing operation part 5 ago
Chapter 70: First day of the cleansing operation part 6 ago
Chapter 71: The night of the first day of cleansing operation ago
Chapter 72: The second day of the cleansing operation part 1 ago
Chapter 73: The second day of the cleansing operation part 2 ago
Chapter 74: The second day of the cleansing operation part 3 ago
Chapter 75: The second day of the cleansing operation part 4 ago
Chapter 76: The second day of the cleansing operation part 5 ago
Chapter 77: The second day of the cleansing operation part 6 ago
Chapter 78: The second day of the cleansing operation part 7 ago
Chapter 79: The night of the second day of the cleansing operation ago
Chapter 80: The day of the cleansing operation part 1 ago
Chapter 81: The day of the cleansing operation part 2 ago
Chapter 82: The day of the cleansing operation part 3 ago
Chapter 83: The day of the cleansing operation part 4 ago
Chapter 84: The day of the cleansing operation part 5 ago
Chapter 85: The day of the cleansing operation part 6 ago
Chapter 86: The day of the cleansing operation part 7 ago
Chapter 87: The day of the cleansing operation part 8 ago
Chapter 88: The day of the cleansing operation part 9 ago
Chapter 89: The day of the cleansing operation part 10 ago
Chapter 90: The day of the cleansing operation part 11 ago
Chapter 91: 29th of the snow month 1299 ago
Chapter 92: The night of the 29th month of snow 1299 ago
Chapter 93: Ethos ago
Chapter 94: Fizumi ago
Chapter 95: Spirits and Gods and The Holy Hero ago
Chapter 96: Aurora's decision ago
Chapter 97: The night talk ago
Chapter 98: Cupid restaurant ago
Chapter 99: Alfin school Mesembryanthemum branch ago
Chapter 100: The branch school planning ago
Chapter 101: Lady Grais part 1 ago
Chapter 102: Lady Grais part 2 ago
Chapter 103: Emma and Lydia ago
Chapter 104: Mesembryanthemum orphanage part 1 ago
Chapter 105: Mesembryanthemum orphanage part 2 ago
Chapter 106: Last chance? ago
Chapter 107: 1st day of the month of fall 1299 ago
Chapter 108: Glimary interrogation part 1 ago
Chapter 109: Glimary interrogation part 2 ago
Chapter 110: ADA ago
Chapter 111: Before leaving ago
Chapter 112: Going back to the capital part 1 ago
Chapter 113: Going back to the capital part 2 ago
Chapter 114: Going back to the capital part 3 ago
Chapter 115: Going back to the capital part 4 ago
Chapter 116: Going back to the capital part 5 ago
Chapter 117: Going back to the capital part 6 ago
Chapter 118: Going back to the capital part 7 ago
Chapter 119: Arrive back at the capital ago
Chapter 120: Rumour ago
Chapter 121: People's perspective ago
Chapter 122: Queen Zanariah and Mother Theresia ago
Chapter 123: The mother and the fire bird ago
Chapter 124: Kucin Guild Exam ago
Chapter 125: Ancient device vs Artifact ago
Chapter 126: Vice Captain of the first knight squad, Kane ago
Chapter 128: Political and religious issue ago
Chapter 131: Sudden departure ago
Chapter 132: Before leaving, visiting the orphanage ago
Chapter 133: Going to the Holy Kingdom of Aster part 1 ago
Chapter 134: Going to the Holy Kingdom of Aster part 2 ago
Chapter 135: Going to the Holy Kingdom of Aster part 3 ago
Chapter 136: Alfin routine part 1 ago
Chapter 137: Alfin routine part 2 ago
Chapter 138: Alfin routine part 3 ago
Chapter 139: Going to the Holy Kingdom of Aster part 4 ago
Chapter 140: Going to the Holy Kingdom of Aster part 5 ago
Chapter 141: Going to the Holy Kingdom of Aster part 6 ago
Chapter 142: Alfin routine part 4 ago
Chapter 143: Alfin routine part 5 ago
Chapter 143: Alfin routine part 5 ago
Chapter 144: Alfin routine part 6 ago
Chapter 144: Alfin routine part 6 ago
Chapter 145: Going to the Holy Kingdom of Aster part 7 ago
Chapter 145: Going to the Holy Kingdom of Aster part 7 ago
Chapter 146: Meeting in the holy kingdom of Aster part 1 ago
Chapter 147: Meeting in the holy kingdom of Aster part 2 ago
Chapter 148: Meeting in the Holy Kingdom of Aster part 3 ago
Chapter 149: Alfin routine part 7 ago
Chapter 150: Alfin routine part 8 ago
Chapter 151: Alfin routine part 9 ago
Chapter 152: Rushing to the capital ago
Chapter 153: Time ticking by ago
Chapter 154: After the treatment ago
Chapter 155: A ruler eyes ago
Chapter 156: Meeting regarding the new incident ago
Chapter 157: Attack at Mesembryanthemum part 1 ago
Chapter 158: Attack at Mesembryanthemum part 2 ago
Chapter 159: Attack at Mesembryanthemum part 3 ago
Chapter 160: Attack at Mesembryanthemum part 4 ago
Chapter 161: Attack at Mesembryanthemum part 5 ago
Chapter 162: Attack at Mesembryanthemum part 6 ago
Chapter 163: Attack at Mesembryanthemum part 7 ago
Chapter 164: Blessings ago
Chapter 165: The whereabouts of other spirit ago
Chapter 166: Apprentice ago
Chapter 167: Kucin vs Kronbir ago
Chapter 168: Result ago
Chapter 169: Going to Chrysanthemum ago
Chapter 170: Lady Hinata, Lisa and Kisa ago
Chapter 171: Taking down the Pegasus unit part 1 ago
Chapter 172: Taking down the Pegasus unit part 2 ago
Chapter 173: Onwards toward the border ago
Chapter 174: The desolate village ago
Chapter 175: Slyph, the highest wind ethos ago
Chapter 176: Rescue operation part 1 ago
Chapter 177: Rescue operation part 2 ago
Chapter 178: Rescue operation part 3 ago
Chapter 179: Rescue operation part 4 ago
Chapter 180: Rescue operation part 5 ago
Chapter 181: Rescue operation part 6 ago
Chapter 181: Rescue operation part 8 ago
Chapter 127: The first knight squad base ago
Chapter 129: Dispelling the church official barrier ago
Chapter 130: Magic and Trickery ago
Chapter 170: Rescue operation part 4 ago

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Reviews
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Slaughter
Overall

First time author in a second language ?

Reviewed at: Introduction

 The text is stilted.  Words are left out.  Sentence structure is awkward.  It reads like not only is this the authors first story,  but he/she is writing it in a language they are  not totally fluent in.   Here is an example from the first page.

"You know, with the pace you are going, you can actually outsmart most noble in higher education , if only I can persuade you and other to enter Athena academy" Alfin sigh sadly but Azumi quickly replied that it have more demerit as of now due to him being a little short temper when confronting a no good noble as he will most likely "lashed out"

ZachTalonn
Overall

The story is great and seems to be on a good path but there is dire need for a proofreader. If you can get past the grammer the story still has plenty of potential to be great.