Dante DeWisr is an ordinary military veteran, a desk jockey in the private sector. He wakes up with a hangover to the worst day of his- and everybody's life. Soon, his hangover is forgotten as frost settles in on the strangely dark July day.
A mix of light sci-fi with low fantasy in a post-apocalyptic setting in near future Earth. Follow Dante as he tries to make sense of a dead world.
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My first review.
The reason for this is that none of the stories so far has been this frustrating to read.
- good style and grammar
- exciting original story
- a believable character gallery
- a good balance of suspense and cliffhangers
- too little research on what is cold or not. - 22f is not that cold.
- I like the temperature in the start of the chapter, but is that inside of the building or outside? This is very unclear.
- unless you have a very serious airleakage in a moden building it will take several hours for a building/floor to cool down.
- on the flip side you dont rub your temple in - 40f because you either have major frost damage on your hands and face after half an hour of exposure or you have cold cream on your skin and sturdy mittens/gloves on.
When the temperature is that much of a part of the story, more accuracy is expected. Or some explanation for why it differs from our reality.
Overall a very good read if you are not familiar with cold weather conditions.
However for me this was enough to put me off the story after chapter 10-11.
As the temperature was precived as deadly at lower temperatures but as it plummets pepole are magically not much affected. (I live where - 5 farenheit is acceptable for a jog outside. Dressing right is learned from the first winter)
I hope you can do a rewrite or something for the first chapters, especially the mad dash for the shelter. They could just take turns moving all the supplies the same day, without much fear of damage, especially after they put on some winter clothes.
I'm kind of surprised this hasn't been reviewed yet, but heh, that just means I get the honor of being first.
The author has written what appears to be a post-apocalyptic narrative as of Chapter 11.
Something from space has invaded our solar system, and the energy and light from the Sun has been blocked. Forget nuclear winter, this is much worse. Planetary superstorms, and tempatures that will soon reach absolute zero reach every corner of the world. There is no escape.
But some of Earth's population was aware this was coming and made arrangements.
Really give this a chance. I think you'll be impressed. Grammar errors? If there were any who cares. The story is so engrossing you gloss over them.
A very well written story that has potential to become more.
This could have been so great!
Yes, you need practice in storytelling and giving descriptions without overwhelming the reader. However, the plot made up for it and not to mention your characters. You managed to give them life and make them believable.
With a bit of hard work, I am sure you could be able to polish your writing style.
I don't do many reviews, because i'm generally to lazy to bother.
While this story is still in its early stages it is very well written. It's an apocolypse story based upon something from spacing blocking the sun from reaching earth. Giant storm, temperatures reaching crazy lows, and a small office of people trying to survive as of right now.
I'm writing this review because this story has managed to build my suspense to the point I almost feel like I'm suffering from anxiety. That's a powerful emotion to get from a few chapters of a story.
Give it a chance, I don't think you'll be disappointed in anything other than the fact that it's a work in progress.
Gripping story with engaging characters and an interesting storyline.
My only gripe is that the story is too short and I want more!
Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading the next installment