God sold us out and the world ended... well, sort of. God may have sold us, or at least, our universe but our world didn't end. Instead, the new owners decided to play, and we all know what that means: Monsters, a System, Magic, Cultivation, and, of course, two new moons!
Thanks for reading! I appreciate the interest.
This is a rough draft and is intended to flesh out some ideas for a novel that I had. Maybe figure out if I want to do this author thing, you know? If you want immediately OP MCs, fights every chapter, a harem, this is not the story for you. Sorry about that.
If you're willing to put up with a long growth curve, an MC that doesn't know what he's doing most of the time but is trying his best both to survive and to help his friends survive, you might enjoy the story.
I'm just trying to have fun, maybe create something that in a second draft I can sell on the eBook market. If you're not into that, not into providing helpful comments for revisions, hey, that's cool, but do us both a favor and stop reading now.
Oh, release schedule
For the first weeks, I'll be releasing a chapter (1800-3000 words) a day. Following that, I'll be releasing whenever the mood strikes me. If I get some feedback, the mood might strike me more often, hint! hint!
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Style 1.5 stars. All I need to say is Info Dump.
Story 4 stars. The premise of this is actually interesting. It is one of the reasons I stuck around for as long as I did. The whole god sold us to another group and the new group decided to do a make over.
Grammar 4 stars. Grammar is fine. It has almost no errors.
Character 1 star. Super MC with 2 uber feminist cloned super women. Boring and 1/2 dimensional characters.
This story is really interesting until it starts to info dump on us. At that point you can start skipping most of the chapters and not lose track of the story at all. Slowly reveal the info when it is releveant as the story moves forward. They spent almost every chapter after the event info dumping with only one little fight the entire time. **Edit** Still an info dump after 35 chapters. Dropping score and story.
Style 3 : the writing style generally flows well, however its nothing really special and the Author likes to give his information dumps in a rather lazy fashion, normally as a wall of text. Not to mention the way 'hot companion A' explains to 'hot companion B' (they're so 1 dimensional I've already forgotten their names.) casually tries to draw attention to the MCs tragic backstory. Overall while it's not hard to read I frequently found myself annoyed at the intrusions and info dumps.
Story 2 : Ugh. The first chapter really sets the tone here. The MC is rich as hell, so smart they take university courses from 11-24 and learn all the martial arts wank wank wank. I could end the story review just by saying the whole thing is just a power wank to show how amazing the MC is and then give him more powers after he shows off how lucky/smart/strong/attractive he is. Eager Beaver title for stepping on a slime, somehow picking up 2 hot girls as the apocalypse starts,being able to get all the skills. It's just horrible. Not to mention the inconsitancy where a absolute genius, martial art expert boy, who is also a hedonistic party animal with millions in assets SOMEHOW ends up as a shelf stacker at some Walmart ripoff as the apocalypse starts. It makes no sense and is clearly an effort by the author to try and make his power wanked alter ego demigod somehow relatable to us mortals.
Grammar 4.5 : The grammar is good. There's nothing much to say here. With the existence of Grammarly and other stuff this isn't too surprising though.
Characters 2 : The MC is a power wank, wish Fulfillment God who acts like an idiot and wins through luck or being helped by his hot companions who live him. What more do I need to say? Everyone is 1 dimensional except for the MC who clearly has ALL the dimensions. I stopped at chapter 3 but I'm willing to bet my life that the MC is very forgiving if a hot girl happens to wrong him, but will kill anyone else who threatens him or 'his women'. No doubt any guys who aren't out to kill him or enslave his companions will think he's cool and be great friends. All girls will love him. There's nothing else to say.
Overall 2 : I want to give it a lower rating, I really do.
1. my eyes hurt
2. omnipotent system talk to the mc... why?
3. gary stu rich kid that was trained from young age by x teachers, was super intelligent and bla bla bla
Did he have any friend? His life is baby, train, have system and be op because of training.
How his past life will influence his future arrogant because of being a genius and rich? no
What is important for him? Being rich? Respect? What type of genius is he? Think outside of the box? Real use genius? Genius that resolve all thing but don't know how to make use of it? or texbook genius that can only respond to texbook question?
The problem with this story from what i read is that it is superficial:
EX: i want to make a op mc in litrpg... for him to be op he have to be op before so i make him the best he can be for the apocalips so you make his past so he can be what you want instead of the past making him what he will be.
Ps: I hope this review help, this is subjective so others can have different view of the same story
Good things about this novel are:
Authors reasonably good storytelling and writing style.
The story is easy to read.
Plot might have some potential.
That's it I guess.
Not so good things:
MC that Authors tells us is a genius, but clearly shows to possess below average intelligence. MC's plot armor and luck are way too OP(contrary to displayed low luck stat).
Dialogues are pretty light and silly, tons of useless exposition.
System is a mess. Author seem to have been trying to cram into it as much functional as possible. There is skills stats classes mana qi all-you-can-eat. Overall, this is not a litrpg apocalypse, but real-world conversion into vrmmo.
Awesome to find a litrpg apocalypse story in oklahoma. I'm Tulsa born and bred. You keep writing chapters, I'll keep reading. Keep up the good work.