The Harukian Chronicler

by ZeriqHaruk

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy High Fantasy Magic Male Lead Non-Human lead Reincarnation Slice of Life Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

This is the story of a man; killed by crazy, only to wait for bureaucracy while he goes crazy, only to be told that due to circumstances he will be reborn.

So he chooses a world, race, stats, etc; and begins to enjoy life at his own pace while not having a destiny. Wonder if he can get some sleep while he's at it.

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  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
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ZeriqHaruk

ZeriqHaruk

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Ciaina
  • Overall Score

Solid grammar, HUGE problems

 Let's be brief. 

Super OP MC with the brain of a human studies college student. A BAD one. Wasted opportunity. Don't make superman, to have him act like a lobotomized person because he's too powerful. 

Sjw crap that completely clashes with the world building, and a hint of pedophilia, because why not. 

Incostant world building when the protagonist is involved because.... Well because he's the MC. 

 

Potential for the author? Sure, lots. With a caviat : either go full comedy, or go believable.

Forgotten Conqueror has a STUPIDLY Op mc, yet the author can weave him into the narrative without having to staple him on it. By acknowledging that he needs to work to obtain informations, the risks of being a public figure in the high end of society, and the needs to defend his family physically and existentially. 

Even if he can blow up a city when he is 12 years old.

Feel free to take argumented criticism as what it is. 

Or as an insult, in which case THAT is the first thing that needs work. 

Aspartame
  • Overall Score

Not bad for a quick read. The MC gets 27 flavors of OP handed to him on a silver platter, but it's done somewhat tastefully. The plot just doesn't exist, kinda forgivable for slice of life. The quality definitely drops chapter by chapter. The MC is the laziest person in existence, bar none. The author gave him sleep immunity, perfect memory, a near indestructible mental focus, a mental library (a forge space, that does no forging), some kinda god eyes, and 4 guides. He makes almost no progression, he uses none of it. Most of the story is like this. Every chapter a NEW focus for the rest of the story. What did I write 2 chapters ago? Nah, that's boring. Never mention that again. NEW focus.

Bioniclegenius
  • Overall Score

This was a weird one to read. The biggest problem was that the quality of the writing just steadily drops through each chapter, until I gave up at 23 because it was nearly unreadable. The author has a very poor grasp of ages, as mentioned in other reviews. There are a lot of internal inconsistencies in how things work. It's directly enough, and it feels almost like we're starting to get to the beginning of maybe having some form of plot, but it's not really there, and with the writing quality actually dropping as we go along, I'm not sure I could sit through that slow development.

The lesbian relationship feels extremely shoehorned in, like a "just because I want it to happen" note from the author, rather than something natural stemming from the story. Out of nowhere, we get a paragraph explaining how the parents approve of LGBT relationships, completely unprompted, with a hit-you-over-the-head "why would they say that? Well, because this girl (who is 9 years old) is in love with this other girl her age and wants to get married!" The entire thing makes the writing feel like it's got some unfortunately strong pedophiliac vibes in it, along with several other instances put in here and there.

 

We've got an arbitrary fourth-wall-breaking character who won't tell us who they are. The bad puncutation and grammar and occasional typos strongly detract from the readability and immersion of the piece. I get what the author is going for, but the execution is sub-par enough that much of this probably needs to be rewritten to be able to maintain much interest. As this is in its current form, I can't really recommend it to anybody.

Akasha
  • Overall Score

The story started well but it quickly degraded.

I would say the biggest flaw of the story is that it is not sure of what it wants to be. It focuses too much on the system but it tries to be slice of life. The MC is OP just because, it does not feel earned and the story goes great leghts on detailing that part.

I hope that the author will continue with writting with more focus on the characters in the future.

 

endoria
  • Overall Score

Solid Plot - Poorly Executed

There is not much to be said about the premise of the story, it is simply Isekai and that is it.
It could be a decent enough read, if not for some glaring problems.

1. The age of the MC
When 5 year olds are getting combat classes and are inducted into the adventurer guild, it just stop reading. Not to mention the obvious lesbian love interest of the "older sister" side character that is barely 8 years old. I mean come on, WTF?

2. The reborn MC who is super clever, but behaves super stupid
The MC starts learning super quickly, has all his old life memories and suddenly after like 50 chapters he starts being stupid as a brick and behave like a small kid.

3. Everything is easy and the MC knows everything better
Yes, our male MC is a little Mary Sue, able to tell everyone how to do stuff, arranging how is brothers train and learn, because of course parents won't mind and parents also wont wonder about how curiously different the kid is.

 

If this story is supposed to succeed, it needs a rewrite and some serious thinking on the side of the author about character development and world building. 
Even a fantasy world cannot deviate too far from what the reader can imagine or accept as realistic behavior by the characters.

Oninomad
  • Overall Score

just leaving a review for context on other reviews

Something to bear in mind when you read the more negative reviews of this story, as of writing this(chapter 26) the MC is 5 years old. The world rules on aging haven't been explained well but it's very clear at least the races present in the story don't age the same as humans (the MC is almost 5' tall), he's still only had 5 years in the world and most of that time he's focused on his family.

Crazy117
  • Overall Score

An explanation of the story mechanics that seem to have been missed by others.

Interesting read no massive grammar issues. But I want to point out something that most of the rest of the reviewers seem to have missed. 

                                             Warning Spoilers Ahead!

The Author tells us in the first few chapters that the “New” World the mc is going to is by a massive amount Older than Earth. It’s also the original world that the mc lived on in his first incarnation before an idiot of a case worker decided to move him to earth.

Another thing the author tells us in the fist few chapters is that children with magical heritages grow up faster this implies that hormones happen at an earlier age hence relationships at 8-9 and other things like the fact that they sign up at the adventurers guild at 5 years old because in the author’s world 5 years old for the magical races is more like 10+ for the races with less magic. And another thing about the adventurers guild it is stated that the children that sign up early will be limited in there quest taking abilities till they are older/more capable by locking them into the lowest rank for a while signing up early is like Boyscouts for us but more free form so the children can learn responsibly and earn pocket money for themselves.

lastly the story doesn’t have an overarching goal yet except for one “Protect my Family” that’s the only true goal that’s implied other than learning to craft and fight. The mc also makes many plans that are only hinted at in the story and never fleshed out so that means there may be many long term goals we have yet to learn about and it’s just that we are seeing just his short term goals. 

Stephen Lewis
  • Overall Score

Ch.20 (edit: very chill read been pretty slow so far)

Pretty good read so far some grammer spelling errors broke my immersion but not to many (its not atrocious)

Writing style is ok premise is the normal reincarnation story start(killed by insert truck chan or crazy person here) pretty good reincarnation story so far i wonder how much the start matters (I guess we will find out as the story goes on)

Not really enough content yet to say if the characters are going to develop and grow 

I dont know how OP mc is gonna get but let's find out together 

tldr if you like slice of life worth at try

th30dor
  • Overall Score

Mushoku Tensei inspired slice of life

Completely inconsistent author. Also very very very similar with another isekai story, "Mushoku Tensei". If you liked that one, you'll like this.

molenir
  • Overall Score

Good story, poor choices

To start, let me say, I'm not a fan of OP MC.  It almost never works.  Though done right, it can be entertaining in its own way.  This, MC is definitely OP, but I don't really take off for it.  While its not a good choice, the story itself is told well enough that you can overlook this flaw.

There are really only a few issues I have with this story.  The first is the homosexuality of one of the characters.   So heres the problem.  Its not their being homosexual perse, its gay marriage.  We've thousands of years of history, and it wasn't until really the last 10 years that the idea of gay marriage has reached any kind of acceptance.  And yet, some other medieval type realm, just accepts it?   Its a hard reach for any story not set in either present day, or the future. 

The second problem with homosexuality, is the age of the characters.  Seriously, one of them is 9.   I know the author wants to make the characters start their OP from infancy, since its a reborn into another world type story.  But it just doesn't work.  Could you at least wait til they are a teenager full of confusion and hormones, to start pushing their gender preference?  

It really bothers me to have a story where the MC is basically an infant, and is already OP.  Not only that, but so many plotlines should be sealed off by the fact that the characters are not old enough.   Unless its some pedo being involved getting the kids into relationships, then they should not be doing more then playing house.  Certainly not 'dating'.  

Other then this, the story is well told.  Minimal if any grammar or spelling concerns.