Core and Guide

Core and Guide

by Indoc

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

A story about the awakening, and subsequent life, of an ordinary Dungeon Core. Along with a Guide, their only goal is to survive long enough to become the greatest Dungeon.

How can an ordinary Core accomplish this when facing off against the world's ‘chosen’? Those who rush to his home for riches, glory, and everything in between.

This Core knows one thing, though. Not every Two-legged freak that walks into their Dungeon can be a Hero.

 

Authors Note - This will be my first attempt at writing, and any criticism is welcome. If you see any grammatical mistakes please let me know. I hope you have as much fun reading this as I will writing it.

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KoboldPatrol
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Nice dungeon core story

(as of chapter 21)
'Core and Guide' is a dungeon core story in what I'd call variant 1a (natural core creation, with dungeon fairy). The core is created, builds rooms and tunnels, places traps, creates monsters, is discovered by adventurers and so on, nothing special so far for experienced RRL readers. The decoration of the dungeon and the monsters are created very nicely though.

Style: The story ist told in third-person internal style. At the start it's from the core's point of view but later also as seen by adventurers or monsters. Some scenes are shown from different points of view. The descriptions are fine. There are also some humorous elements.

Story: As written above, the plot development so far did not give me any special surprises. Compared to other stories there's less originality but while that reduces the suspense I wouldn't count it as too much of a negative because it's a solid story nonetheless. The dungeon quickly reaches above-average power compared to its level/prey but not overmuch so, we'll see how the pacing is in the future.

Grammar: There's a significant amount of typos in most chapters but the grammar is mostly okay.

Characters: This is where I'm not happy with the story. The dungeon fairy is similar to many other RRL dungeon fairies, which some people like and some (including myself) don't: a hyperactive, impulsive and immature little girl; she treats the core in an abusive way instead of following her job description which is to teach it the important things about being a successful dungeon. The protagonist core received some humanoid memories in order to teach it some basics about the world but the rest it has to learn on the fly like any other newborn which is why it needs that teaching. It's not doing badly, however a better teacher would go a long way and I have a problem with the impressionable young core catering to the fairy's childish moods and petty interests all the time. The core even notices the sub-par teaching regularly but mostly keeps silent about it, why? The adventurers that arrive after a while are mostly just fodder but some of them we see regularly. Those are shown to have diverse personalities and the readers can invest in them a bit even though they are the opponents. After a while the readers get to know the dungeon monsters and those are really cute (can't spoil too much but it brought big smiles to my face).

All in all this story is a nice read with some strengths (descriptions, monster behaviour) and some weaknesses (fairy/core interaction, average originality) compared to other dungeon core stories.

Wayne
Overall

Couldn't get past chapter 4 as the Guide spent most of the time mocking and striking the MC which was supposed to be cutesy bantering but came across as abusive and tedious to me.

I don't see why a newborn should have to cater to the whims and tantrums of some entitled fairy. I don't care how many memories of husbands he absorbed, being a door mat makes for a dull MC. 

As such I didn't care to read any further. If you find humor in 'wives' verbally abusing/haranguing their dim witted hopeless 'husbands' you may enjoy this, otherwise it's a meh for me. 

BlorkLllLLl
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Enjoyable but standard story

I feel like I've read this story at least twice before. The story is a bit slow because it covers such well-trod ground. The mechanics are painfully explained by a forgetful fairy.

 

Wasn't 'crunchy' as far as numbers go.

Frogen
Overall

Hope full for a continuation

Reviewed at: Chapter 22 - Guide and Core

Honestly the story is pretty good the dungeon's obssesion with deer is a rather fun trait and the pov of the monsters is really insightfull and an intersting way to show the beliefs and views of a dungeons monster and its interaction with the dungeon but i dont like the big reveal that the dugeon fairy could kill the core because first its a guide not a judge it shouldnt have that kind of authority  to start with and it makes no sense cores are the lungs of the world that make sure thing can live on the planet and there arent a lot of them there are littery decades between a single birth and the guild can decide their to danerous and kill them fairys on the other  hand can be born at anytime with no problem whatsoever  and unlike a dungeon core thay can not only have a child but several children and as far as the story has said the only limit is the fairy choice of how many they want so not only are they completly unworthy of that power and totally outside of their job as a guide they have no legitimate reason to do so dungeon killing people is merely self defense they cant invade the outside of their dungeon so their not a threat to the world they litterly make sure life can exist so the only reason that can be given is arbitery crap such as not likeing the decore or the creatures in it  so not only is does this not make any sense but also the dungeons reponse should be rage and betrayel at finding out that the entire time he was trying his best listen to her and trying to meet her needs and had trusted her completly never doubting her lintentions she on the other hand was basically holding a gun to his head and deciding whether or not to pull the trigger ruining their realtionship forever if anything it should be the other way around he should decide if its not working out to send her away so in coclusion i would like it if the author would redo that part but otherwise great story and hope you come back to it soon

Sky3Fall
Overall

Great worldbuilding

This is a definite 5 star for me. There are no obvious grammar/punctuation mistakes, the story flows really well, the characters stick to their personalities and the dungeon feels alive, unlike those that have bots for monsters. Keep it up!

Jangofet54
Overall

Solid Story nothing remiss about it looking foward to where it goes from here.

Wolfclaw123
Overall

Great dungeon core storey

This story balances the classic dungeon core story without many of the gimmicky additions some authors will add and I love the core and his fairies interactions so far 

magical heart
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The story is a lot of fun But everything I look for in a fantasy story interesting characters, a fun magic system, and why can't say for certain since it's only been 10 chapters it certainly looks like it's in a be a very fun world to explore through the eyes of Wil.