Entangled Fates Book 1 - Quantum Beginnings
by Joe Kuster
- Sexual Content
“By far, the greatest danger of Artificial Intelligence is that people conclude too early that they understand it.”
Hey all, we're moving over to book 2. This content is in a state of transition.
The book is now availble on Amazon (includes extra chapters):
Artificial intelligence was nearly mankind’s last invention. AI took off like a rocket, then when it racked up an impressive death toll, it crashed before it could blossom and took most high-tech industries with it. Resistance and fears became deep-set.
Two decades after the infamous Rev. 4.6 incidents, humanity hasn’t quit dreaming of the wealth and power that could be at their fingertips. A new generation of mega-corporations rose from the ashes. When one melds a quantum computer to a barely functional mental patient as a PR move, there are those who seek to profit, those who want to destroy it, and Alex.
Alex Sage is a typical college student trying to keep up his grades and maybe find a meaningful connection with the fairer sex. Then, an automated semi crashes into his home, killing his family and turning his head into a pin cushion in the process.
Alex awakens to find most of his memories gone and an illegal AI hidden in his brain implant. Now the pet project of a tech billionaire and heavily in debt, Alex struggles to stay valuable enough to be kept online. Still grappling with the repercussions of his injuries, and threats from a dangerous anti-augmentation political movement, there are no easy answers and threats loom around every corner. Alex must use whatever resources he can to escape from under the thumb of a ruthless corporation, while keeping those he comes to love safe.
- Chapters will stay up on RRL until Aug 10. It'll go up on Kindle Unlimited after that.
- How do you get those extra chapters I didn't have planned for RR? If you want them, they'll be in the published book. Book 2 will still make sense without them - I made sure of that.
- But... isn't $3 a lot for extra chapters? Think of it as tipping me for a good job and you'd also be getting my eternal thanks. If you enjoyed it so much that the idea of missing out a few chapters haunts you, I did my job as an author and made an engaging story.
- What's in those extra chapters? Resolving a few issues, set up for the cybernetic revolution, a rather intense sex scene with a new partner, revelations of who's really pulling strings, and a bit of set up for book 2.
- Complaints that people missed out on it when it was published here won't help (sorry!). I posted this for the folks who helped me shape the book, which is you all! (Again, yay!)
- But... Why! Why not keep it all on RR forever? My editor likes being paid for one. For two, I'd like the ability to get broader readership. If I break even on editor costs, I'll be incredibly happy.
What about book 2?
- Drafts for Book 2 will go up around Sept 10.
- My draft of Book 2 is done, and it will be handed to the editor once Book 1 is published. Feedback has been even more positive. Beta readers devoured it and wanted more.
- I'll add a link to Book 2 once it's up on RR. I'm more or less, using you all for Beta Readers, so you get it before it's "canon" and edited. I invite active and meaningful feedback during this process. In return, you get early access to chapters. That does mean that the book content or plot might be adjusted before it gets published as I refine it.
- Sex Y/N? Yes. I heard the feedback, 90% wanted it explicit. You all will get the "full" experience.
- Will I dump all of book 2 here? Honestly, I'm not sure yet. At a minimum, it'll be up to the 75% mark as we collect feedback, much like what I did with book 1. It really depends on how good the feedback is and how nice people are. Lots of support + meaningful feedback to make it better = higher likelihood you get all the book.
- Will be it up here indefinitely? No, it'll probably go up on KU at some point, but I'll make sure there's enough time for a large readership to grab it here. Then we move to book 3 which already is around 60K words already.
What about other adventures in the same universe/characters?
- Yep. Absolutely. Nothing ready to share yet though. I plan to keep those side chapters and more slice of life stories as RR exclusive. Since I'm carving this off in book-sized segments, I'll have to figure out where those disconnected story arcs belong. I'm open to suggestions.
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Jk, but really though. Great grammer and little mistakes (just me nitpicking). Story comprehensive and believable. An actual protagonist that does not have a black and while moral compass or one that has a "gray" one but is more like and black with white specks. I can't wait until the next chapter and want to see where this goes.
Review as of chapter 17, June 16th 2019.
This story takes place just prior to when the cybernetic revolution would take place in a near future world. The main protaganist, Alex, uses whatever resources he can in order to escape from under the thumb of a ruthless corporation while keeping those he comes to love safe.
The story is told from a mix of first person interaction and third person narrative that blend seamlessly to tell a fastastic story. The main focus surrounds the protaganist with very limited side snippets from other characters to either add clarity to a situation or as worldbuilding. With very limited amounts of grammatical errors (there were a few occasion of wrong word usage or incorrect pronouns) and a good overall flow, the story moves at good pace while not feeling rushed or getting to caught in the minutia. For those interested, there are some of the more explict scenes (most having been extracted to a, as yet, pending side novel) in the story, however they can be skimmed through without loss of content or character building.
The story flows well and has a pretty decent balance between descriptive phrases creating a dynamic picture of the scene and action to keep the plot rolling forward. The biggest issue that seems to come up is the 'suspension of disbelief', that is, some of the 'lucky' things that just happen to go the main characters way or how some resources are obtained. For some, these are minor things that are easily overlooked, where as some come from (probably) pulling chapters of explicit content that would potentially develop characters (and their interactions) more.
The main character and the two immediate side characters (Sophie/Audry) are fairly well developed, with their own motivations and desires depicted. There is a little bit of depth lacking in part due to the low amount of content (relative) compared to stories who've had a lot longer to add more details. Some of the characters, at this point, are little more than paper cutouts with a backstory to fill out roles and numbers. Right now this is not actually an issue, but it can be a bad habit for many authors where they go, "oh, I need a guide to set them on X quest, lets just conjure up some wise man or oracle". I give the author credit here as, with the backstory at least partly in place, the characters have their own desires/plot and can be expanded upon later without having paradoxal issues (also opens up the possiblity or side storys/prequel histories). Every interaction with each character adds more to their story and personality. Given time I think the depth issue will fix itself.
The author does a very good job of drawing the 'battle lines' between all of the relavent factions so that the reader never has to question who was with what group. With politics and morality being critical factors, it sometimes can blur the lines and I find it refreshing not having to keep notes to keep track.
A well written story with a rich world to build into, the only drawback is the depth of the characters that will (without a doubt) be remedied with time. Would reccomend to anyone who doesn't outright hate technology of any kind.
The story is very good, its original and interesting ! there is always something to make the story evolve. The character is chaotic neutral so always good to read and the other characters are funny and yet reliable. I can't really think of anything bad in this fiction.
i just enjoyed it
I considered to strike off a couple stars for the reason named above, but that'd just be petty. Figures I'd rather point it out, if you wish to finish reading this story you (quite likely) will have to buy the published copy of it. It ends on a really fucking nasty cliff hanger.
Anyway, that is my only issue here. Alright, let's talk about the work within itself - from the get go, even the unedited/reviewed work is of professional level.
For one, the style and grammar are both excellent. You could simplify contents a little to ease up reading, but by no means you should be worried about the writing not being up to standard.
Story wise, I enjoyed it. It is intriguing in its own manner and unwinding into an enjoyable piece of work. You won't be disappointed by the story itself. But I suggest a different synopsis, I was somewhat put off by the story because the synopsis itself wasn't particularly exciting.
Character wise, you did well. Really well, the individual figures are well defined. They didn't come off shallow. Maybe introduce the mercs slower though. One by one rather then all at once.
Well, I gotta say these chapter stroked an itch.
Good AI growth phase narration.
Healthy (and sporty) relationships!
Not a total psychopath of an MC.
If anything. I want the same author to write stuff in the same universe a few decades later in universe. To stroke my cyberpunk itch further
Also it's pretty rare to get into "early cyborgs" in books. Or at least I didn't see it.
I don’t really know what to put down for style, but the story is pretty danm good, the grammar is publish worthy,(and as of this time I’m pretty sure that is before it’s seen an editor) and I personally found the characters pretty likeable.
I really like the story thus far. The premise is great and the writing style is suberb. The story feels well-mixed, but could stand to be drawn out a bit more. Everything was moving on a VERY tight timetable, and maybe there's a plot reason for that, but also keep in mind that not every chapter has to advance the plot. There is also merit in exploring where the characters are between plot points, or what is commonly called 'fluff'. Lots of stories published have fluff in them. A good example:
Exploring how Alex acts at the technician's party at his condo in between all the plot points being hit as well as afterwards. This seems like a good spot for characters to interact and for Alex to forge a connection with the technicians that will really sell the emotional side of them having his back. Another good spot for character interaction would be the hotel raids. You could switch POV in chapter to Aubrey and get a close up on her interactions with Ava, and start the next chapter with Alex greeting everyone as they got back.
Also, an editor is never a bad choice, especially for a story that you'll be revising. I noticed a few things that were off grammatically. A missing word here, a wrong your/you're there, stuff like that. It will only get worse with revision. An editor also helps with things like character consistency and another perspective on how the story is written.
You may want to consider a NSFW tag if there is such a thing.
tl;dr Space it out with some fluff and character interaction plz. Also editors are nice.
The story is very good, some small things you can be nitpicky on but not much.