The Harem King

by Immovable87

Original HIATUS Action Comedy Fantasy Satire Anti-Hero Lead Grimdark Harem Male Lead Strong Lead Villainous Lead Xianxia
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

The Harem King. ^_^

A story on how the King of Harems came to be.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 19,063
  • Average Views :
  • 3,177
  • Followers :
  • 145
  • Favorites :
  • 65
  • Ratings :
  • 63
  • Pages :
  • 16
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report


Word Count (14)
Fledgling Reviewer (II)
1st Anniversary
10 Review Upvotes

Leave a review

Sort by:
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Let's give credit where credit is due, this story is good in a grammatical sense. I don't remember seeing any spelling mistake or missing word.

Regrettably, this is all the good I can say of this story. Despite being a tolerant reader, I couldn't get past chapter 11.

The bigest flaw is that the author is immature, to the point he doesn't understand that invincible, almighty protagonists are terribly boring. Not even 12 chapters in, and the hero is already unkillable, can turn anyone into his slave instantly, has 1 trillion dollar, and control technology well enough to murder anyone in the middle of the street without worrying about cameras. Oh, and he's well on his way to give himself every superpower ever imagined by hacking a superpower store.

The level of stupid is staggering. The MC goes into a bank, brainwash an employee into giving him 1 trillion (never mind that an employee can't realistically move so much money, or that this amount would trigger of all sorts of alarms), then justify it to his family by claiming he found some alien metal and sold it (like he wouldn't find himself detained and interrogated over it, or killed for the money). And the family swallow it, just because.

The MC lived his childhood in poverty, but not even a day after he receive powers (without any effort on his part, just dumb luck), he refer to other poor people as pathetic ants and peasants.

I generally try to read a lot more chapters before giving a review, but this one is just too bad for it.

  • Overall Score

yell Heard of murder porn novels before but never read one...till now that is. Honestly, this novel is really hard to follow as the author's ideas seemingly skip all over the place. While there is some grain of potential there, this novel seems to prefer staying in the minor league. In terms of improvement I recommend more world building and some rethink on the MC's motivations. While it's clear the world is set in a future dystopian state, not much is known about composition or ethos of the society. Expounding on how mankind spread to the stars and discovered superpowers would be helpful. E.g. Does everyone develop superpowers? Has mankind left the galaxy?

Some logic gaps in the story also need explanations, for example:

 (A) If the MC attended a different university in the past why is he so familar with the top notch uni and its personnel.

(B) If there is a class separation of rich/poor why is he allowed to even set foot on the grounds of the top notch uni.

(C) The MC was sent to prision or some penal institution (seemingly for life) for rape. However, this doesn't follow the logic established thus far: (1) the girl raped was poor and therefore should be deemed useless/expendible by the MC's society so why would the government care enough for him to be sent to prision. (2) with the high levels of over population on the various human worlds wouldn't it be easier and more efficient to just execute the MC. It could be argued that he was sent to a labour camp or the military since greed and conflict are key facets of the world. But given the more efficient AI and androids that exist it would be more logical that executions for minor crimes would be the more likely status quo.

(D) The Shop is familiar concept; however with fluid rather than fixed shop prices, where 1 life = 1 shop point, with sometimes 1000% increases in the cost of shop items, eventually the MC would have to destroy entire worlds to be able to keep up with that outlay. Eventually, the MC would likely get discovered. And since they can't kill him containment would be the only option. This could be done easily by destroying any planet the MC is on. And since mankind has colonized several planets nuking one planet to contain a species extinction-level threat is a no brainer.

(E) Finally, in a harem the girls love and care for the MC and vice versa. Not sure rape is a unifying motivator for a harem novel.