The White Rabbit
- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
In the Urillian Empire, the Empress Xandra rules three-quarters of the planet Xren from her home in the capital of the Earth Continent. Both the fire and water peoples have fallen under her might after a series of wars stretching back three centuries. Earth elves, under Xandra's rule, have spread throughout the planet and established colonies, and are, by all accounts, enjoying what seems to be a prosperous and happy existence.
But not everyone in Uril is happy. The holy books speak of elves as the Chosen People of Thesis, tasked with guiding and protecting the lower races. For some people, this scripture has been interpreted to designate their life as one on the lowest rungs of society. Humans have been reduced to a slave class, and serve their elven masters under Xandra's rule, kept at bay by the constant fear of the dreaded Emerald Knight, and their own perceived weakness. Humans do not lead long lives, nor do they possess the wisdom, power, or magical acumen of their elven masters.
But there is hope. A group of people have banded together to fight against Xandra, her Knight, and her empire. They call themselves the "Knights of Order" united under the principle idea that Xandra's reign has brought chaos unto Xren, and they wish to restore order. These Knights are led by a man named Xaxac Brigaddon, spoken of as a legend. They say that when the moons are full, some humans transform into powerful beasts. They say that Xaxac is the most powerful warrior on Xren, that in his youth he was enslaved and forced to fight other humans to the death in a bloodsport called "cage fighting", that he could not be touched and held the world championship title for three years running until he faked his own death and escaped his master to join the resistance. They say that he has friends in high places- noblemen, pirates, and the devil himself. They say that if you can find him, he can ferry you to freedom in places where the Earth Elves fear to tread. They say that he is immune to magical attack, and his eyes shine like the silver moon. They say that he is descended from Quizlivian Brigaddon, one of the humans who helped the demon Magnus escape a god.
They say that if you want to walk the Path of Order, you should follow the White Rabbit.
Come and watch the transformation from human boy to Knight of Order: The life and times of Xaxac OfAgalon OfLangil Brigaddon.
Content Warning: This work is based on the real experiences of human trafficing survivors. Xaxac's origins are based on true events, and they are presented realisitcally; this includes but is not limited to: isolation, gaslighting, emotional and sexual abuse, and grooming tactics. This work is meant to hold a mirror up to society; it is based on the real of experiences of people who have experienced slavery and/or abuse. It is an adult work and probably should not be read by anyone under the age of 18. If you are a survivor of human trafficing and/or abuse, your feedback is welcome, but please do not read this if you think it may trigger your trauma. I did not write this with the intention of harming anyone, but rather to provide accurate representation for a group that does not normally get it in the hopes of changing the zeitgeist. I would like to see a world where more people understand what these experiences are like, so that real survivors do not have to deal with microagressions from an ignorant public. Reader discretion is highly advised.
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- Overall Score
The big reason I put the rating I did was the sheer level of discomfort I felt when I realized that pedophilia and sexual abuse would be prevalent themes. I understand you had the warning that there would be traumatizing content, and usually, I can handle it, but this was too much.
Your writing is clear, and your storytelling is excellent. However, I'm going to be honest and say that I would never have picked up this story if I knew to the extent you were going to write about the abuse. From the description, I thought he was going to be trained for the tournament stuff more, rather than get kidnapped and raped by the elf for several years.
I understand that the whole point is to make people very uncomfortable, but you need to put in exact details of what will be in this story. I got a panic attack from reading that scene when they first slept together, and the accuracy in which you go into those details is, in a way, commendable. But for something this serious, you should state in your synopsis the extent to which you will go to these levels.
It was too heartbreaking to read in the wrong ways I wasn't prepared for. I understand that you will take this as me hating it and such, but you need to be more upfront with what happens and put it in the synopsis of your book.
I also want to make it clear I don't hate the story, and I wasn't at an emotionally healthy level to read something like this. I had my own experience with pedo's that I haven't unpacked yet, which coloured my experience and intense reaction. I want to make it clear that such a prevalent and deeply impactful theme should be clear from the get-go so that people like me can stop ourselves from getting triggered by the material.
- Overall Score
Came for a fantasy story, found a weird slow-roll slavery plot-with-porn story. Which, being fair, would also be extremely relevant my interests, if it happened to be straight. Unfortunately, it's all dudes. A simple main character genderswap would've made it 2000x more enjoyable for me.
That said, it's quite well-written and well-considered, so I'll keep an eye on the story. I look forward to the moment when it turns slightly more into a (perhaps more standard?) fantasy adventure story. The prose and characters are good, the plot seems quite interesting (if a bit slow to roll out), and I give a lot of credit to any writer that is willing and able to have an abhorrent antagonist or character without it being a clear-cut cartoony mustache twirling kind of deal. Especially when it comes to issues such as slavery, which can understandably trigger moral outrages and the temptation to make a character really fucking horrible in a way nobody could possibly be in real life.
My issues with the story are: 1.The fact that the setting and world seem to stick a little too closely to obvious real-world historical scenarios, from what we know so far. It's supposed to be fantasy, you know! Branch out!
2, and this is responsible for the whole star off. the writer comments on each chapters are just way too much. I highly recommend skipping them if you're reading the story, at least the first way around. Perhaps this is a subjective opinion, but I feel that reading a detailed in-depth explanation from word-of-god at each chapter really takes away a lot from any tale. It's like having interpretation-blinders on: sure, you see the road that's there very clearly and in focus, but you miss everything else. This is supposed to be the stuff readers think about and consider themselves without this much heavy-handed intervention. Sure, you'll end up with stupid people saying things like "hur, he's a slave, why is he being so submissive when he could just run away or secretly plan rebellion, like I, a fully informed free human being from 21st century earth would obviously know to do," but that's just the price you pay.
Overall, would recommend fairly highly if you don't mind the gays.