The White Rabbit

Came for a fantasy story, found a weird slow-roll slavery plot-with-porn story. Which, being fair, would also be extremely relevant my interests, if it happened to be straight. Unfortunately, it's all dudes. A simple main character genderswap would've made it 2000x more enjoyable for me.

That said, it's quite well-written and well-considered, so I'll keep an eye on the story. I look forward to the moment when it turns slightly more into a (perhaps more standard?) fantasy adventure story. The prose and characters are good, the plot seems quite interesting (if a bit slow to roll out), and I give a lot of credit to any writer that is willing and able to have an abhorrent antagonist or character without it being a clear-cut cartoony mustache twirling kind of deal. Especially when it comes to issues such as slavery, which can understandably trigger moral outrages and the temptation to make a character really fucking horrible in a way nobody could possibly be in real life.

My issues with the story are: 1.The fact that the setting and world seem to stick a little too closely to obvious real-world historical scenarios, from what we know so far. It's supposed to be fantasy, you know! Branch out!

2, and this is responsible for the whole star off. the writer comments on each chapters are just way too much. I highly recommend skipping them if you're reading the story, at least the first way around. Perhaps this is a subjective opinion, but I feel that reading a detailed in-depth explanation from word-of-god at each chapter really takes away a lot from any tale. It's like having interpretation-blinders on: sure, you see the road that's there very clearly and in focus, but you miss everything else. This is supposed to be the stuff readers think about and consider themselves without this much heavy-handed intervention. Sure, you'll end up with stupid people saying things like "hur, he's a slave, why is he being so submissive when he could just run away or secretly plan rebellion, like I, a fully informed free human being from 21st century earth would obviously know to do," but that's just the price you pay.

Overall, would recommend fairly highly if you don't mind the gays.

The big reason I put the rating I did was the sheer level of discomfort I felt when I realized that pedophilia and sexual abuse would be prevalent themes. I understand you had the warning that there would be traumatizing content, and usually, I can handle it, but this was too much.

Your writing is clear, and your storytelling is excellent. However, I'm going to be honest and say that I would never have picked up this story if I knew to the extent you were going to write about the abuse. From the description, I thought he was going to be trained for the tournament stuff more, rather than get kidnapped and raped by the elf for several years. 

I understand that the whole point is to make people very uncomfortable, but you need to put in exact details of what will be in this story. I got a panic attack from reading that scene when they first slept together, and the accuracy in which you go into those details is, in a way, commendable. But for something this serious, you should state in your synopsis the extent to which you will go to these levels. 

It was too heartbreaking to read in the wrong ways I wasn't prepared for. I understand that you will take this as me hating it and such, but you need to be more upfront with what happens and put it in the synopsis of your book. 

I also want to make it clear I don't hate the story, and I wasn't at an emotionally healthy level to read something like this. I had my own experience with pedo's that I haven't unpacked yet, which coloured my experience and intense reaction. I want to make it clear that such a prevalent and deeply impactful theme should be clear from the get-go so that people like me can stop ourselves from getting triggered by the material.