The Regis Saga

by MrAzE

Original HIATUS Action Fantasy Sci-fi High Fantasy Magic Multiple Lead Characters Secret Identity Strong Lead Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

On hold, because I want to focus on Forgotten

 

The Dominion is the most potent power in the galaxy. It's past is shrouded in mystery and legends. For nearly three millennia, the line of Hester has ruled the growing empire. All of that would not have come to pass if not for the Godslayers.

It is their victory over the Hollow Gods, which still echoes and shapes the world, so many centuries into the future. It is their secrets which can bring it all down in flames... because The Regis is about to wake once more and they are too few.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 4,835
  • Average Views :
  • 254
  • Followers :
  • 43
  • Favorites :
  • 9
  • Ratings :
  • 11
  • Pages :
  • 174
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
MrAzE

MrAzE

Achievements
Word Count (14)
15 Reviews
150 Comments
Top List #200
30 Review Upvotes
100,000 Views
1,000 Followers
1st Anniversary
Advertisement
Remove

Leave a review

Reviews
Sort by:
Danduil
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Some good, some bad.

Reviewed as of Chapter Nine.

I would like to start this review by stating that I am by no means dismissing the talents of this stories writer and aim only to give constructive feedback. I am not a professional writer by any means. Therefore, take whatever is written below with a grain of salt. I will also preface that I’ve synced up with the writer of this story to give constructive feedback outside of this review.

The Regis Saga is a fantasy sci-fi/action story roughly focused upon Regis, the captain of a group of killers known as the Slayers.

At first glance, it reminded me of a cross between a space opera like Star Wars and Deux Ex mixed in with your classic fantasy races of elves, dwarves, orcs, and humans.

  1. Story

Story wise there’s...a lot. The world has a lot of locations and a lot of mentioned history and conflicts, but so far none of it has been fleshed out. The worldbuilding is definitely there, but I think it needs to be amped up a bit more in order for me to fully wrap my head around what exactly the universe of The Regis Saga is all about.

I’ll admit, I loved the first chapter. Not a lot of people will probably agree with me one that too since it is a lot of exposition, but it’s really stylized and sets the tone for the story. Martell is extremely interesting off the bat.

But, much like the rest of the story, there are some very confusing bits. I had to reread all nine chapters three times in order to fully grasp what was going on. Normally if I have to do that for a story I tend to give up on it. But, I am hell bend on giving a good review with constructive feedback, so I pushed forward.

Instead of going into the bad which I’ve taken offline with the writer lets focus on —  the good.

The universe is fantastic.

This is a living, breathing world filled with excellent descriptions of detail. A Sci-fi/fantasy is a tough setting to write it, yet the writer has done an excellent job marrying the two. It makes sense, its super SUPER interesting and unique, and I love the world itself.

The characters outside of the main cast are realistic, interesting, and filled with culture. I think the world is the highlight as its so diverse and unique.  The descriptions are amazing.

His secretary was a prime example in that regard. She had a doll-like perfect face with the bark-like growths removed from her cheekbones. Slightly larger and rounder orange eyes shaped to look more human, instead of the natural black pits common for her species and to top it all, she had had skin alterations done, which changed the original moss green hue to a light bronze one.

Love it.

A couple notes though.

So there's Humans, who I am assuming have the majority of control. Then theres dwarves who seem to be excellent craftsmen/inventors, Orcs whom are disliked, and elves who are powerful but had almost become extinct. This is all being told me to, but not shown to me. I am basically being fed the information without any emotion to back it up. How am I supposed to feel for the other races when everything sort of seems set in stone right off the bat.

There are Gods like Zakaar, the god of Death. There is also Eldrich in this universe. So is it based off of D&D or…?

All in all the story seems like its’ going places but I can’t follow exactly where as of yet. But, with time I think it’ll really take shape.

  1.  Style

I’m going to admit right off the bat, I am not a fan of the writer’s style. I think they skate over the interesting details which ends up leaving me with the scraps. Here’s a notable example.

Example 1:

The brute used his lightning-fast reflexes on instinct and blocked the blade with his axe. It left him open to the warrior who had jumped at him. It was over in a second. A knife in the throat, deep enough to reach the spine.

First problem is sentence structure.

As if it were instinct the brute blocked the blade with his axe. His reflexes were as fast lightning.

Sounds a little better.

And I think that’s my major problem. There is a lot of telling me but not enough showing me. If I want to feel for these characters, or even like them, I need to be shown who they are. Telling me Regis is a good Captain is one thing. Showing me he is my inspiring the Slayers is another.

The writing isn’t bad, not at all. It is just lacking structure. The setting changes drastically sometimes within the same chapter at points making it hard to wrap my head around.

This is a story that rewards you for paying attention and I found that once I did so that it was actually super interesting in how it was structured. With some polish it can be excellent.

  1.             Grammar

Grammar wise, it’s very good. There are spelling errors here and there, but it’s entirely legible.

  1.             Characters

Here is where my main problem lies. I really don’t like these characters.

Let’s start with Regis, whom the story is named after.

Regis is the Captain of the Slayers. He seems capable but likes to curse and joke a lot. He seems very cool and chill at times, and sort of over the top at others.

One instance when I found myself living Regis a lot occurred in Chapter Two.

 

 Example 1: Chapter Two:

“Not one of the slaves is to die. Good. Nadene. Give the signal.”

Regis seems like a pretty good guy, although a bit overconfident.

However when this occurs...

 

Example 2: Chapter Five:

“And Mar, they can do whatever the fuck they want with their slaves. Am I clear?”

When speaking about the slaves Regis seems like a pretty nasty guy which is causing a lot of trouble. I want to like Regis since he seems like the main focal point, but I don’t. He’s kind of a jerk from his balant overuse of the F word to his attitude which constantly flips back and forth between Stern Boss Man to Sarcastic Jokester Captain.

But then again, maybe the whole point is for me to not like Regis, evident by what was said in Chapter One.


I will admit I still love Chapter One and hope we get more of the future sequences with Martell and Cylin whom I think are really cool characters by how they are introduced.  

  1.             Closing

 

All around I think The Regis Saga isn’t my cup of tea. It could be from the writer's style or the type of story they are trying to tell but it just isn’t hitting the marks for me. I think it’s a beautiful world with great descriptions and a lot of thought but I don’t like the characters so I feel like I have no connection to them.

Characters are what make a story, worldbuilding enriches the story. Right now the world building aspect is there, but the characters aren’t. I think if the characters were to be given a second look, and the pacing was laid out a little more linearly I’d really enjoy this story. But for now, its not my thing. But, for those who enjoy a nice fantasy space opera and is cool with some vulgarity, I’d say give The Regis Saga a try.

The Reviewer
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

I dare you to read it

Here is another Glance Review by The Reviewer as of Chapter 2:

Style and Story:

Personally, the style doesn't suit my tastes. Not enough prose, a bit heaver on the diologue. Still, doesn't suck at least. If you're gonna do it, do it well which is what you have done.

Story is good for those who like the genre. I personally don't like this genre of novel, but that's just my opinion. If you're into this kind of stuff, I suggest checking this novel out.

Grammar and Character:

I found many missed punctuation areas and a few extra spaces added in. Otherwise, if it was a normla person reading this and not someone specifically looking for mistakes---they'd probably miss it.

Character is the best out of the categories. Lot's of diologue might affect the style negatively, but it sure as hell boosts the character development. I don't know if you were aiming for this effect, but it definitely worked.

That's it for this review! Hope this didn't demotivate you in any way!

P.S. Cool cover!

-The Reviewer

Zethuron
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Combines Fantasy and Sci-Fi in a good way

Honestly, i can say im impressed by this story, even if it has been sort of short so far.

It has been a good, even if a bit confusing story. The world the story takes place in, is a combination of High Fantasy and Sci-Fi elements, and the author has pulled off that quite well. I really want to see more of this world already, and just what happened in its undoubtly large history from being a Fantasy world, to becoming the futuristic world it is now.

Characters are wonderfully written, even if the amount of exposure still has been sort of short so far.

Grammar is a problem in this story, with there being errors spotted in most chapters. This story certainly could use some kind of editing, but however the problems with grammar are overall not that large.

The writing style is just brilliant. However like another reviewer, i feel like the world as a whole could be better described.

Even if its sort of early to be certain this story will be good, im still really liking it, and i can only recommend others to come read this.

Rudexvirus
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Deep lore, Worth a read.

The story starts out really diving into the world.  We learn a lot about history, the city, and the main character by the end of the first chapter. 

 

If I am being honest, the story is a bit heavy on that at the beginning, which isn't usually my style for reading. I like the descriptions to move fast, and fill me in as things become immediately important rather than dumping it in my lap. 

 

that being said, the author does it well. I didn't find myself skimming, and it did pick up by the end of the chapter. The world runs deep, and I appreciate that they continue to use the information they have given us. 

 

There are a lot of elements here, and I think the story would appeal to most people. 

 

I did notice one or two incorrect words, but otherwise, the grammar seemed to be solid, like everything else :D

jpuntuned
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

I wish I could give the story a higher rating on the grounds how brilliant the characters are. Each and everyone of them feel deep and very fleshed out.

The opening chapter alone sets up a brilliant premise and introduces a pair of characters that beg the readers to anticipate what is to come and wonder what has already happened.

Moving on from characters, the author paints a brilliant world blending high fantasy races, gods and magic with a futuristic setting. I believe that's not done enough and deserves more exploration. 

I wasnt looking for grammatical errors and nothing major jumped out at me or ruined my reading experience.

The author's style is pretty similar to my own - dialogue driver. However, he needs to expand on his descriptions to paint a better picture of the beautiful world he is building.

The story is worth a read and at a much higher standard tha  what I expect on RR.