Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Psychological GameLit LitRPG Magic Male Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

In the world of New Dawn, the citizens seem to be suffering a divine punishment of some sort.

The monsters that plague them are worse then devils, demons, or depraved criminals.

The devils have their own twisted morality, demons are not intrinsically bad—they're just above humans in the food chain—and depraved criminals can at least be killed.

The undying, capricious monsters kill anything and everything, devouring all in their sights like a swarm of locusts. What's more, the lords and kings who should be protecting them seem to be working with these monsters.

When all seems lost, it falls to a young boy to save his people from these monsters… from the players.

In the players' eyes, he is a hidden boss—possibly even the final boss!

In the developers' eyes… what the heck is this bug?!

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Isaac Michaelis
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It's shaping up to be something good, even with the low amount of chapters. Its got a fun idea that while i've seen happen a few times, they never realy fit with me. This one has. The grammar is good, and so far the characters have been sensible. There aren't enought chapters for me to really rate the story, or the charaters very well. Your style so far has been engaging enough for me to breeze throught all 5 chapters with no problems.

Keep going, you're doing good!

Ani
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Ani's Glance Review for 'Player Killer':

 

Style And Grammar:

Beautiful. Smooth. Attractive. It's one of the few stories that managed to get my elusive 4.5 rating. Each sentence makes me feel like I'm swimming on a clear, quiet river.

And let's not forget the grammar and vocabulary. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to place 'Player Killer' on the high-end of RR in terms of the technicalities of writing.

The only downside I noticed was the rapid changes of perspective. It got me confused for a few moments, but it's nothing big.

4.5 for both. Deserves every bit of pixel on each star.

 

Story and Character:

Reading from the perspective of a sentient NPC is certainly interesting, though the first chapter didn't give the MC any chance to at least show a shadow of his character. But then again, that's easily excusable, it's just the first chapter anyway...

Nope.

While I dislike reading the MC's hair color on the first paragraph of first chapters, I also dislike MC-less first chapters. Sure, he was there, but really, all he was able to say was that fancy attack name... The only 'character' that I got out from that is he's some kind of chunii...

First chapters are as important as covers. We have to perfect them as good as we can~. So, I'll nitpick here. :p

 

That's all for my review. This empress gives you her blessing, LordArmyChicken. Good luck and have fun writing~.

Kap
  • Overall Score

You're gonna have bad time

For every player who's ever done a genocide run, the time of vengeance is upon you.

Jokes aside I like the concept, and while the changes in perspective are a little jarring at first I love hearing the players and then hearing what an npc hears. This looks like it's gonna be a fun ride.

geffen.nir
  • Overall Score

HAHAHA! nice angle, good read so far!

decent read, great angle, kinda reminds me of Threadbear from a different perspective.

Recommended read.