The Legend of Rayola the Deathless

by Cloudless Night

Original ONGOING Adventure Comedy Fantasy Tragedy GameLit Grimdark Magic Multiple Lead Characters Mythos Non-Human lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

All chapters are being rewritten. Will start posting by 20/05/2019

Although most scenes will be expanded and written in a more descriptive manner and better visual quality, with or without added scenes. ( Going for the immersion... Hopefully.) No significant changes in the plot shall be made and only minor corrections if any at all. 

(Also fix my grammar and wording too obviously. Oh, how I hate awkward conversations. ) 

Release of new chapters shall not be hindered either. 

( For accuracy and your opinions on my style, I would reccomend holding off your review, but then again, it's your choice and It doesn't change the fact that it's still me who is writing this. I always manage to mess something up.

That takes skill, mind you. ) 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

After about the tenth time she died, Rayola started to think, that maybe she didn't come out quite right, even by supernatural standards. Of course, the pale white skin and hair, plus the blazing orange eyes might have been a clue and it was getting harder and harder to blend in. To top it all off, she has no memory of who she is and there's an incredibly suspiscious, snarky voice in her head making quips about her life choices. Even worse was the inability to sleep.

At first, she thought that maybe she was just an overly messed up zombie or even a vampire! But she was proven wrong time and time agian... there were too many inconsistencies and it made her uneasy. The final straw was the issue with her own identity. At first she was okay with being her own brand-new person, but as more and more ghosts of her past started to slowly catch up, she had no choice but to set off on a journey...

A journey to discover who she once was, and to find out what had happened to her. It was for no noble cause but merely one for personal salvation. Yet, her actions left behind a legend in her wake. 

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note;  Still a work in progress so you may encounter some mistakes. Revisions and rewrites may occur before start of the next arc.

For me, writing is a passion I love as much as I love to draw. I love to create different things, and one of my goals was to finish an entire world building project. I started to write this book as a materialisation of that goal, and I shall continue to do so as well. I'm posting the artworks I make alongside this in the 'Artworks' page. It shall be regularly updated. I'm also trying to improve my writing along with it. After all, this is my first attempt at writing for the public to see. 

Hope you enjoy!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note:    See change log for more info on specific details about release and chapter irregularities. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 7,054
  • Average Views :
  • 371
  • Followers :
  • 116
  • Favorites :
  • 21
  • Ratings :
  • 27
  • Pages :
  • 179
Advertisement
Remove
Reviews

Leave a review

LiquidOcelot
  • Overall Score

This read made my day...

It 's been a while since I wrote my last review but this story is worth the effort. I f*cking have to! I'll keep it short though. This story is pure fantasy. Uninfluenced, honest, pristine flight of thought. I've been around on RRl for quite some time, but this is one of the few works I find authentic. Sure there are some general motives about "immortality", "guilds", "adventurers"  and whatsoever, but this is stuff we, readers, came here for. The whole read, despite minor quirks, reeks of worthiness. Thumbs up folks.

Silverlightboii
  • Overall Score

Pretty good style, hooking, n it's got a nice first person narrative. Not the first of it's kind I've read, n I decided to follow this one up. Just hope it doesn't get abruptly stopped after 20 chapters like every other Web novel I've read. Then again, it's just the first chapter lol. 

proofreader
  • Overall Score

Thought-narration is not my style

I immediately found myself skipping over large amounts of text. However, many seem to like this writing style of 'thought-narration', being that other stories with this exact narrative style are rated positively here. 

I don't like it, sorry. I didn't get past chapater four. 

That said, kudos to the author for the font and color emphasis throughout. It works well, and many authors could benefit from using the additional medium as you do.

I'd be curious to hear if others feel similarly towards what I am labeling 'thought-narration'.  As always Author-san, the most important thing I can leave you, is don't let anything, any feedback keep you from writing!

Ace of spades
  • Overall Score

 Really really love the stlye and a bit bit queer on how you're indirectly hinting somethin. May just be me.