The First Magician

by wolfgang784

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Dungeon GameLit Magic Male Lead Post Apocalyptic
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

INDEFINITE HIATUS

 

 

I always seem to make these too long when I ask for peoples opinions so I’m not gonna try an exciting description anymore but instead just give you an idea of what to expect. 

First off, this is my 2nd attempt at a story but my foundation for this one is much better than the 1st already and I see this going much further and so far its coming together much faster and easier. 

So please excuse me if things are not up to publishing standards. Also I tend to confuse your, you’re and so on so sorry to people that triggers ahead of time. 

The First Magician follows the story of 15 year old Alex in a post apocalyptic rpg-ish world in the near future. Earth was transformed, monsters appeared and people began being able to use Ki but could not figure out how to use magic. 

Alex ends up becoming the first human able to use magic through a series of events and sets in motion events that will change the very future of the human race. He will be somewhat OP simply because he is the only human (at least to start, who knows about later?) who is able to use mana.

Many classic RPG elements have been removed. I didn’t want the story to be like all of the other lit rpg stories on RRL but it also makes the writing easier for me hence the watering down of rpg elements. 

 

UPDATES: I am doing this to relieve stress and for fun so I will release chapters when I can. So far though ive managed to keep up with 2 most days.

CONTENT WARNINGS: There will be some light language but it won't be insane. I might have some gore later on but am unsure and the same for the sexual content. Sexual content isn't super likely as I doubt I can write it well but I put the tag so people cant yell about it if I add some in the future but forgot to add the tag. 

COVER ART: Yes it is from the anime Log Horizon. It is a good representation of what earth looks like despite it not being many years in the future. 

 

DISCORD: https://discord.gg/s6V3hGV

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
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  • Pages :
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wolfgang784

wolfgang784

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1 - Yggdrasil's Might ago
Chapter 2 - Classic Time Skip ago
Chapter 3 - Awakening ago
Chapter 4 - Can you repeat that please? ago
Chapter 5 - Ouch ago
Chapter 6 - The right tools to get the job done ago
Chapter 7 - Tests? ago
Chapter 8 - The Orb ago
Chapter 9 - Free at last! ago
Chapter 10 - Home sweet home ago
Chapter 11 - Full Mobilization ago
Chapter 12 - Eccentric? Nah ago
Chapter 13 - Experiments ago
Chapter 14 - The Orb: Reloaded ago
Chapter 15 - There be Goblins ago
Chapter 16 - The Orb: Revolutions ago
Chapter 17 - Yup, Still Goblins Here ago
Chapter 18 - A dream come true ago
Not a chapter - Few explanations ago
Chapter 19 - Enchanting? ago
UPDATE ago
Chapter 20 - It Begins ago
Chapter 21 - Round 1: Fight! ago
Chapter 22 - Round 1 for real this time: Fight! ago
Chapter 23 - That's the way the cookie crumbles ago
Chapter 24 - Oops ago
Chapter 25 - Uh-oh ago
Chapter 26 - The Great Escape ago
Chapter 27 - Adventure! Woo ago
Chapter 28 - Never forget the basics ago
Chapter 29 - Revelations ago
Not a chapter - also not dropped ago
Chapter 30 - Arrival ago
Chapter 31 - Plan of action ago
Chapter 32 - Scouting ago
Not a chapter - Indefinite hiatus ago
Reviews

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Allister Hale
  • Overall Score

Early work by what seems like a good writer

I had some misgivings at first, Wolfgang took my concerns to heart and addressed all the important points that had concerned me.

Its hard to say where it will go from here but if wolf keep going with this story i expect the result will be an enjoyable read.

There are still some rough points, using the wrong 'your' and other small things in a few places, nothing i have seen so far should survive the kinds of edits that woul take place after the completion of a professionaly published work.

I would prefer to give this an unscored review, but RR doesnt offer that possibility so for now my score will be an average 2.5, thus I invite all of you to read this promising seed and encourage Wolfgang to make it the best story it can be.

interesseret
  • Overall Score

If you like teen-based manga, you'll like this

 I honestly don't have a lot to say, because it's just... Not interesting. So far, it seems exactly like a op-mc story with little to no real plot. If you like reading randomly thrown in exposition (like they do in manga), you'll enjoy this immensely. Otherwise, find something better written.

Mighty Moushie
  • Overall Score

Started after the rewrite

I started after the rewrite, so I can't say how much it improved. I can say that aside from a bit of a believability issue in the prologue, I have no complaints. The story has good pacing and excellent worldbuilding. The MC tends to sit down and think through problems when given time, a very nice change. Looking forward to more.

TheSolitaryReader1
  • Overall Score

Just keep it this way, it’ll be trendy in no time!

in my opinion, as long as you do as the title of my review says (for more info, see above), your story is set for greatness.

that is what I believe.

although there are still Some kinks to work out, they don’t detract from the story’s quality at all, and let’s all be honest here, which so called perfect story, is actually perfect?

THUS, there is no best story, only a better one!

random reader, out!

Tel
  • Overall Score

being first isn't easy

Que dramatic music....lights....action....

In a powerful voice.

The over powered hero awakens his unlimited cheat like skill and and stand uncontested supreme in the....

CUT!!!!!

What do you think this is a Chinese Cultivation Novel?!?!?! If your going to write a review do it properly.

fine.....sigh...

Ow ow ow ow ow what just happened???

Status?!? STATUS!!!!!!!!! Ooh no! What do you mean??? I HAD PLANS!!!!!

And so begins the story of Alex who finds out being first and powerful isn't always easy. Join us for volume one (chap 1-26) as he takes his first steps in a new more dangerous world filled with family, friends, and monsters.

Will he usher in an age of magic amidst these new made monsters, or bring  about the downfall of what is left of humanity.

_________

Okay dropping out of movie trailer announcer voice... The story is actually pretty good and vol 1 is basically a giant prologue setting the stage. So really lots of room to grow, and plenty of space for the author to mature in.

Good pacing, a decent style, and a solid progression. All in all a fun read.

 

fujitora ishuo
  • Overall Score

I think the idea and setting are fairly well made and interesting. The overall story progression is also entertaining.

Sadly the dialogues are dragging it down a bit for me. Often the characters are overexplaining things which seems very unnatural. Like X says ok lets do this I am influenced by some emotions a b c and I know that you feel xyz so I know that you will do this anyways.

So far the character also seems a bit blurry, either they are good or bad but I couldn't say more about them.

I felt like the novel kept getting better so I'll follow for now.