Planetary Brawl

Planetary Brawl

by halowenjo

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge

What good was victory when so much had been lost. A party of over a hundred, reduced to less than twenty, the last remaining members of the human race. There was a chance to go back, to start from the opening of Dos, but only one member of the party could go back.

And he was dead.

Dustin found himself waking up to a head filled with memories he did not remember, a life lived, and ended, without his consent.


Cover Image:"Red Giant Earth warm" https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Red_Giant_Earth_warm.jpg by Fsgregs is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0. / Image has been modified by adding text.

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halowenjo

halowenjo

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Stomatopoda
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

New Take on a Well-Worn Plot, and Likeable Result

A decent litrpg-style fiction that's likeable but not phenomenal.

The plot follows the crowd-pleaser trope of the modern world struggling to adapt to upheaval with the arrival of monsters and a litrpg system. We've seen this before in other fictions like 'The New World', 'Randidly Ghosthound', and 'The Scourged Earth', but a new take on it is always welcome. Earth's reaction is fairly realistic, and the MC is fairly likeable. There are no complex nuances or layers to the plot beyond direct objectives, but the story chugs along and is fairly engaging at that.

Characters don't quite achieve that magical level of realism, dialogue and emotional responses being just a little too stilted at times, but they're not disagreeable and act like more than just plot devices. Similarly, the author's style is competent but marred by occasionally being a little rough when jumping between focuses.

Grammar is a bit of an issue, with errors in most newly released chapters, but basic paragraph and sentence structure is present and it's still quite readable. Updates are spaced out but relatively frequent, especially commendable given the author's profession.

Lord farquad
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

It's good but some jarring mistakes

Just so everyone knows this is my first review

 

 

First off let me start this by saying it's really really good. Great now that that's out of the way let me tell you were it goes wrong. First the biggest problem with this story is it's inconsistency. As an example the main character mentions that his friend was murdered in the past but then one chapter later he says he has no idea what happened to his freind. This is just one of them there are like 3 or 4 more. 

The grammars kinda off as well with a few aquardly worded sentences and misspelled words. But overall it's readable.

The style and uniqueness is on point and better than most of the same genre. But his opness is also pretty blatant although he hasn't bloomed into roflstomp territory this looks like where it's heading.

starfyre7
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

System apocalypse story with a small twist

This is a generally enjoyable story, a system apocalypse story where the apocalypse gets introduced in stages. However, the grammar is somewhat lacking, regularly using the plural form("-es") instead of possession "'s" and mixing up words like "there" and "their". These do detract somewhat from the reading experience, but are not big enough deterrents to make me stop reading. If this story were to get an editor to address these issues, it could easily compete for being one of the top stories currently being serialized on RoyalRoad.  

Jester13
Overall

Extremely worth a read!

So far (as of chapter 26) I have loved this story and am so excited to read more as the author continues to write. 

As for the nitty gritty- the concept is similar to a few other recent new stories, in that a group of humans finally beat the "final boss" *for this story, it seems likely that the "final boss" isn't quite the final boss, but we'll see* but all of them die, except for one who gets sent back in time to just before the events that start the whole process of getting to that boss. He then tries his best to better prepare humanity for the upcoming events. 

This concept is not new, but there are a few plot points that make this particular story very much worth a look at.

There are a few grammar things (wrong words, weird sentence breaks and what not) but overall it's well written.

DrMonotone
Overall

I always love it when shit goes wrong with system stories so someone has to go back and time to fix everything! Give it a try if you like a good LitRPG with a post apocolyptic vibe!

Excoriation
Overall

System apocalypse done right.

If you can forgive the grammar mistakes, this is a wonderfully put together story. Many system apocalypes stories lack an actual plot, but this one so far actually has one. Yay plot!

Pabloypablo
Overall

Very good plot line.  Hangs together quite nicely.

Civ Defender
Overall

Rewriting was the right decision. I want more.

Reviewed at: Welcome to Dos 006 - The Side Mission

The original story was okay but the rewrite is very good. Since I read the last chapter some days ago my thoughts have bin drifting back to the story wanting to red more.

Halowenjo has so far written a story that surpasses nearly all books I have read of this type. 

I hope he vill continue the story or start on another one I vill be wating.

 

Signspace13
Overall

This series is well written and well executed, but it runs into the same problem that so many other LitRpgs do, Magic = numbers, and this trap can be deadly, it sucks the fantasy out of it, reducing it to a status screen and a skill window, some series escape this trap, Randidly Ghosthound and Arcane Emporer. I hope you can too.

CakeOrrDeath
Overall

Well Tred Concept, Adeptly Crafted

The story is far from unique. Apocalyptic system driven event ends in disaster and our hero after facing defeat travells back in time to try again and save humanity. I must have read dozens of stories with this concept and dropped 90% shortly after because they were terrible. This one isn’t.

 

The writting is solid and easy to read. Dialogue feels natural and realistic. The pacing is good and the characters likeable. Strongly anticipating the love interest and people to help him on his quest entering the frey. The side characters introduced thus far are mixed in quality. Bizarrely the ones closest to the mc, his best friend, step sister and mother seem the least engaging and complex. Whilst the intrepid reporter, snooty butler and government agent are all facinating and well fleshed out, despite their likely lesser roles. 

 

This story, whilst familiar, is well worth your time.